As 2007 rolls around, it’s another year gone, and we are all another year closer to old age and death, I mean, er, hard-won wisdom and a prosperous retirement. Something to think about: will you have to pay for your parents’ retirement? And maybe you need another glass of bubbly before you can process that question.
I’ve always been quite confident that my parents will be able to retire in comfort on their own. But this New York Times article, Elder Care Costs Deplete Savings of a Generation, gave me pause. It’s a stark title, fit for the stark phenomenon of baby boomers sacrificing their own retirement to care for elderly parents.
Families have always looked after their elderly loved ones. But never has old age lasted so long or been so costly, compromising the retirement of baby boomers who were expecting inheritances rather than the shock of depleted savings.
“There is a myth out there that families abandon their frail elders,” said Dr. Robert L. Kane, a geriatrician at the University of Minnesota School of Public Health. “Instead, across the income spectrum, children are sacrificing to care for their parents to the limit of their means and sometimes beyond.”
It must be such a heartbreaking position to be in – to have to decide between the well-being of your parents or your own future and the possibility that you will need to burden your children with your retirement/medical expenses. The enormity of medical expenses is the reason why I think Medicare is a bigger problem than Social Security. After all, you can only spend so much on rent, food and utilities, but the sky is the limit with end-of-life care or new drug therapies.
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I had this realization a couple years ago, while still in college. Realistically, if I have kids at 30, they’ll be in college at the same time my parents are heading to a nursing home. Paying those bills concurrently would crush even the most fiscally savvy person.
My dad got long-term care insurance for himself & my stepmom, but my mom’s poor and can’t do that. I don’t know what I’ll do for her. I don’t know if I’ll be making enough money in 10 years to help her in a major way, and any minor help will probably just diminish the value of any federal assistance for which she’d be eligible.
Margo – Yeah, I really hope I won’t be in the proverbial “sandwich generation.” The article also talks a bit about the psychological effects of money in the family – it makes more financial sense for the parents to spend all their money first (as you said so they can qualify for governmental aid), but many times children will pay for things because have no money to their name makes the parents uncomfortable.
Is it utterly heartless for me to say that my kids are on their own for college because they will have earning power that their grandparents won’t have? They won’t be abandoned because I’ll definitely educate them about money, debt and all the stuff in between so they can make a informed decision but I doubt that we’ll be able to put them through college while taking care of the padres.
I’ve thought about this too. My mom is in good health (though she doesn’t take the best care of it!) but she won’t be spry forever. My fiance and I talked about caring for our parents in their old age and neither of us wants them in an old age home, but that’s easy for men to say because they aren’t usually the ones providing the day to day care… it’s a scary prospect.
I don’t know…my parents had me so late in life (Mom’s 37 years older, and Dad 34 years older), that I might not even be married before Mom needs help. Is it callous of me to think that caring for her would ruin my prospects of finding a partner?
For now, I keep after them to get in better health – exercise more, lose weight, lower cholesterol, etc…but it’s not getting done – not enough anyway
I was not able to save for my daughter’s college when she was a baby. We were just making it then. Now that she is in college now, I rent her and her husband (its very cheap rent) our garage apartment. She has some scholarship money available, but the rest is up to her and her hubby
My parents have a huge gap in their ages. Mom is 70 and is in great health. She plays golf and still works partime because she wants to not out of need.
My dad is 84 and is less than good health. Mom takes care of him at home and they are not the type to discuss anything Financial with me, but due to my mom’s very frugal nature I can only assume they will have enough to take care of them.