Things have been… a little stressful.
A big reason why I am saving so aggressively is because I am worried about my job. In my line of work, the billable hour is key (I don’t work in law, but the concept is similar). If you don’t bill, you don’t generate revenue, and if you don’t generate revenue, the firm has no reason to keep you.
Some weeks I’d work past midnight and have 8AM Saturday calls, etc., but some weeks I’d bill 2 hours for the entire week. Averaged out, my billing is below target. That means I am not producing enough revenue to make my position worthwhile. I’m going to have to be a lot more aggressive about getting on projects.
I’ve approached a manager about an upcoming project. If it turns into a long-term engagement, that’d be a really good development. In addition, there are areas of improvement that I really want to hit in terms of improving my technical modeling skills, seeing the “bigger picture”, etc. There are two managers who will likely write my business school recommendations, so that’s an added incentive to perform extra well for them (in addition to, you know, not get laid off).
So that’s the reason why I’m looking at 2009 with a sense of trepidation. The economy sucks. Unemployment is up. California is broke (IOUs for tax refunds, seriously?!). Graduate school applications are skyrocketing. I have to retake the GMAT and do better than the 88th percentile I scored the first time.
I’ve always been one of those people who overachieved. Who had a PLAN. Who did well. I’m trying to get that spark back.
I look around and try not to feel like a failure because everyone around me seems to be loving their jobs, winning promotions, going on cool trips, scoring 750+ on the GMAT, getting engaged, running marathons, and buying real estate.
I try to pray and be thankful for what I have.
I try not to mind that I don’t have life figured out.
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Sounds like you have a great plan here. I’m really working on finding daily joy in my simple life. Have you thought about writing five things you are thankful for every day? Mine are sometimes repeated through out the week, and often simple (think, thank you for my son’s smile).
I’m curious – what line of work are you in?
Hang in there toots! The important thing is not to measure yourself against what other people are doing. It might looks good on the surface, but they could be digging themselves a hole financially and spiritually. Saving money and investing in yourself is ALWAYS a good plan. Vacations, promotions, jobs, sometimes even marriages are transitory. Ensuring your security will pay off down the road. Have faith and keep on, keeping on!
There are days I look around and feel down that I’m not among the folks pulling down the promotions, raises, and all the sparkly shiny achievements; other times I realize that there’s a good reason I’m surrounding myself by people achieving so much and doing well.
You have a plan, you just don’t know what it is yet!
In the meantime, you’re doing something to consolidate your financial security and improve yourself; can’t scoff at that. Or at least, it’ll do in the absence of a structured plan, right? I tell you that as I try to convince myself of the same.
None of us really has life figured out, ’tis ok.
I agree with Revanche. I look around and get nervous because I don’t have a conract yet, or a job in the States to move to…
But hey, chin up. Saving is the right thing to do in case you (I hope not!) get axed…
Fabulously Broke in the City
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver…
Yeah I’ve learned you can’t put too much weight on comparing yourself to others. Everyone takes their different paths and success for each person is different. As long as you are accomplishing your goals you’ve set for yourself, that’s all that matters.
As Meg said, you have no idea what is going on under the surface of people’s public sides. Also, I’m not convinced getting laid off is such a terrible thing. It’s a new opportunity to refocus your career and gather new experiences. That’s what life is all about anyway!
Don’t worry that you’re the only one feeling that way. I know exactly how you feel … it’s hard not to feel that way when you’re young (or at least that’s what I tell myself).
I am running a marathon this year though. I guess that counts for something …
Save! Save all you can! As soon as the thought of job loss entered my head, I buckled down the purse strings. I was lucky to of had a few months head start before I was laid off in October.
Keep your head up!