So even if the prenup costs $2k, it’s likely to be a tiny fraction of the money and headache it’d save you were the marriage to dissolve. So I’d probably rather put $2k on the table, set up something solid and fair, rather than wish I did in 20 years when there’s a death or a divorce.

I think you’re taking the wrong lessons from this experience. I’m guessing that when your mother was entirely responsible for the financial well-being of the family, it wasn’t a choice. That is indeed very stressful. But single-earner families which are by choice are entirely different. In fact, they’re far less stressful than dual-earner families who are consuming more than either partner makes on their own. Those families are in great trouble if something should happen to either partner’s job, but the single-earner family has a built-in safety net – the partner without a job can get one if necessary and shore up the family’s finances.

And, if you marry the right person, I think you’ll conquer your fear of not having your own income as well. This one I am not going to guarantee you though. Unfortunately, “the right person” is a rare breed and only a minority of people are fortunate enough to marry one.

Personally, I think you might reconsider #2 when faced with the reality of raising a child. (Assuming you do want children). Full-time childcare can be seriously expensive, and combined with the increased tax burden of a higher household income, the financial benefit might not really be that great. Obviously, it depends on childcare costs and earning power, but to me it makes so much more sense to take a couple years off to raise children. And I think it’s perfectly reasonable to draw some personal money off of a main earner’s income if you are staying at home. Being a mom should be valued financially in a family and this might counter some of the anxiety of not having an independent income.

I would also like to see another post just on pre-nups….you hear a lot of things about them (particularly when celebrities are separating) but its hard to translate that to what it would mean in a “regular” couple’s case.

LOL! I can imagine, you must have been one precocious teenager. BF and I will be starting out together with basically nothing, so a prenup really isn’t for us. And I totally agree, it is INSANELY stressful supporting someone other than yourself, I’m in my final year of my degree (semester starts in a month) and really hoping BF remains employed and has a job throughout the year, because the alternative is too horrendous to contemplate.

However, I can tell you, as a divorce attorney, prenups don’t always reduce litigation. Because, usually, unfortunately, prenups aren’t fair. But I think the honest frank conversation about money and death and divorce is only going to help your relationship pre-marriage. And understanding how the laws of your state treat property during marriage is important because it colors how people act and behave. So even if you didn’t get a prenup, the actual thinking about it and talking about it is extremely beneficial.

I think chivalry is VERY romantic, and it’s always nice when the guy pays, and opens the doors! I also am VERY KEEN to make sure that the guy walks on the outside of the curb. I hate it when guys don’t. Though, I also hate it when girls hold the girl’s purses unless she’s in the bathroom or tying her shoes. So i guess I’m not full on chivalry (but then again, if they’re just walking and he’s holding her bag, i don’t think that’s chivalry, i just think the girl is lazy/rude).

And, I’m in law school in a marital property class, so we learn a lot about pre-nup.s I still think they can be fair and promote the love in a relationship when both people do it together.

It’s refreshing to see someone in love with all of the above. So, power to you!

We could either make tons of money, either could stay at home with kid/s, we could be disabled and make no money. With so many scenarios, I didn’t know how I could possibly know what was fair.

I’d love to see your pre-nup thoughts in the future.

But I just don’t think I’d spend $2-$3k on one, and I think they’d cost that. That is a huge chunk of my cash for something I think has a low likelihood.

Sorry to nitpick. The list is wonderful!