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The truth? Still awkward

by WellHeeled on March 22, 2009

Even though personal finance bloggers are usually all about more openness in money topics (and I’m certainly a fan of financial literacy education), I still feel weird talking about money with people in my non-virtual life. Money still strikes me as an awkward subject.

When friends ask me for investing advice, I say something vague like “diversification”, “risk-tolerance”, “do what you think is best”, etc.

Or, before I ask someone how much they pay for rent, I feel compelled to add “if you’re comfortable with saying.”

Or even with CB, probably one of the people closest to me in this whole world. I don’t think he knows exactly how much I have in the bank. He never asked, the subject just never came up, and I never volunteered the information. I don’t know exactly how much he has either.

But I’ve spoken to pf bloggers (including a couple whom now I consider my real friends), and it’s easier to talk about how much we make and how much we spend and what our fears and desires and goals for money and everything related to it are.

I guess the pf blogger comfort about money hasn’t really rubbed off on the me in “real life”.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Miss M @ M is for Money March 23, 2009 at 6:05 am

I’m the same way but I think there is good reason to not “show off” pf knowledge in real life – the questions it raises. Your friends are going to ask how do you know all of this or where did you learn this bit of information. If you’re trying to keep it anonymous it will only make it harder. I got one such question from a co-worker but I was able to brush him off with “it’s a long story.”

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Fabulously Broke March 23, 2009 at 6:58 am

Agreed.

I don’t ever want to talk about money in real life unless someone specifically asks for help or needs help.. and I don’t really say how much I owe (just told BF last night how much I actually have).

I think it’s because I think people would see it as bragging. *shrug* I find it better to keep mum and if they really persist and ask, then I’ll tell ‘em.

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CentsInTheCity March 23, 2009 at 8:01 am

Money is a weird topic with friends…especially when you know there’s a huge income difference. Don’t get me started on the issue of splitting dinner bills with wealthier friends. Thankfully I’ve trained most of them to know I’m going pay my share. I don’t want any part of the expensive appetizers and bottles of wine.

There are some people I’m completely comfortable with and some I’m not. My parents, brother, best friend, and ex all have a pretty good idea about how much I make and what I do with my money. I don’t have issues with discussing investing in stocks, 401k’s and IRA’s as long as we’re not talking numbers.

In NYC asking someone’s rent is an extremely common and acceptable question, which I always find amusing and educational. There have been a lot of articles lately about making salaries known in the workplace and how it’s valuable for all. After getting over how open everyone is with rent, it makes me wonder what it would be like if we were all open about salaries?

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SP March 23, 2009 at 8:05 am

I agree that it might seem like bragging, or at least, competitiveness. Even when it isn’t.

My parents probably know roughly what I make, T knows everything… but everyone else could only make an educated guess at this point. It is weird though.

Reply

paranoidasteroid March 23, 2009 at 10:35 am

In general I try to avoid talking about it. I have some friends who spend a lot of money and I think if they knew how much I was saving they would pressure me to spend more.

If someone asked, I would tell them, but they rarely ask. I don’t know if anyone could guess…

Reply

Ellen March 23, 2009 at 10:49 am

For some reason, I don’t have any qualms telling people about the money I owe on student loans, or telling them about my savings/retirement plans. I never come out and say exactly how much I make per year, but I assume it wouldn’t be that hard to piece it together.

My boyfriend, Sean, knows every last cent. I know the majority of his finances, as well. I know we’ll be getting married in the distant future, so I want everything out in the open now.

I guess just being so far in debt has made me want to talk about my finances to people. It keeps me motivated to work out of my debt. It also sometimes gives me a fresh perspective on something I may not have thought of yet, given that I’ve only been tracking my progress on my blog for 2 months now (but I’ve been reading other PF bloggers for years).

Reply

fortuna March 23, 2009 at 3:15 pm

So funny. I just came across the same problem yesterday. Despite devoting a lot of time to personal finance, econ education and financial news I can’t discuss that part of my life with most of my real life network…

Reply

Mel March 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Doing what I do for a living i talk abuot money all the time. I try to avoid my own money. I don’t tell people generally how much I make in my good years or my bad years but I’m sure its not too hard to figure out.

I get asked a lot about my rent but I think its b/c living in LA does that to you and its normal.

Reply

Moneymonk March 24, 2009 at 3:23 pm

I agree with Fabulously Broke

This is the only place I let my hair down on finances, Talking about money is taboo

Like fabilously Broke said, it will seem like bragging almost if I talked about money advice/habits with friends

Reply

quarterlifegirl March 25, 2009 at 9:13 am

I agree with PA…if my friends knew how much I make and how much I’m spending I think they’d encourage me to spend more and wouldn’t quite understand why I watch my money so much (particularly because they know I don’t pay rent or anything). I have no problem telling people how much I owe in student loans though, for some odd reason.

(The whole blog anonymity is also a factor…I’m terrified if I mention any random blog they’d eventually run into mine!!!)

Reply

Slinky April 9, 2009 at 1:02 pm

I never have a problem talking about money in real life. I tend to discuss things pretty generically, but if someone asks directly, I’ll answer them. It’s not bragging if they asked. It’s another story if you go around telling everyone whether they care or not! People do sometimes ask how I know stuff about finances and my usual reply is, “It’s a hobby of mine.” Then they think I’m a little strange, but they think that anyway. :)

Reply

omz April 27, 2010 at 9:17 pm

this topic is so fascinating, i really don't agree with this whole taboo of talking about money, i talk about money all the time, and i make it a point to discuss money with everyone, because our education system teaches us a lot of nice things, but it doesnt teach us anything, nada, zilch, about money, what it is, how it works, and how it affects our lives, i always talk about money because i want to learn how to make it benefit me, instead of it being a burden on my life! talking about money is taboo, because most people have no clue about money, so i would like to ask a question given this fascinating topic, everything you have been told and know about money so far, how well is it working out for you? How hard do you work to earn that money and how much benefit do u gain from it? Do u know how to make your money work hard for you, so after 5,6,7,8 years, you dont have to work any more? The investment advice that you have gotten in the past, was it good advice?

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omz April 27, 2010 at 9:17 pm

(continued) I strongly believe to be successful in life, one must learn from others that have already achieved what one is striving for, I do not have all the answers, but deciding where to get these answers from will affect your decisions for the rest of your life! That is why i talk about money all the time, i like to ask questions and analyze everything we are told, to see if this wil help me achieve my long run goals, and I ask these questions to get others thinking, so they can also take a path of learning everything about money, because the more knowledge one has, the better chance one will have of making better use of money in the long run, and I hope this post will reach and get everyone reading it to start questioning whether their knowledge about money is adequate, and how they can increase their financial literacy.
May you all reach success in the future!

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