2009 July | Well Heeled Blog

10 thoughts on More To Love

Written by WellHeeled on July 31, 2009 · 10 Comments

I caught the first episode of the new FOX reality dating show More To Love last night. It appears that thanks to Hulu, I can find ways to unproductively use my time even without a TV in my home (see Exhibit A: Momma’s Boys).

After watching the premiere (full episode here), here are my thoughts.

1. It’s unnecessary to list each woman’s height and weight below her name. I doubt that many women (whether they are a 6 or a 16) would want their personal information to be put on TV for the world to see.

2. Luke seems like a nice-enough guy, but 20 cute ladies + 1 single man basking in their attention = the balance of power is dangerously off.

3. The first girl out of the limo, Malissa, looked gorgeous in a deep cut blue sheath. And she’s studied abroad in Paris. Forget Luke, I’m a little smitten myself.

4. The rings. Oh my. The rings that signify “Luke’s promise to get to know each of the woman for who they really are”. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought there were engagement rings (i.e. you are engaged to be married), and maybe promise rings (i.e. you are making a promise to get engaged in the future). What do these rings represent then? Although… this can be a new marketing opportunity for jewelers: “A Promise To Get to Know You” ring, anyone?

5. The script about the rings. Luke: “Will you wear this ring?” Lady: “I will!” Luke said, “the future Mrs. Conley might be in this room.” I get it .There’s no need to knock us over the head with the obvious SYMBOLISM of the ring ceremony.

6. The giving back of the rings and the regiving of the rings. It’s mean for the ladies to have to give back their rings, then wait for it to be re-given. I prefer Bachelorette’s rose ceremony. At least the Bachelor ladies aren’t handed out a rose only to have to give them back.

7. The rocket scientist who kept apologizing to Luke about her rocket scientist job. I was bummed she was sent home (I hope it’s not because Luke was intimidated by her). But I hope she knows that she should never apologize for her intelligence. A man who “loves you for who you truly are” will be proud and supportive of your accomplishments.

8. It makes me sad to hear a girl say that this show is her ONE chance at love, or something along those lines. That’s a lot of stock to put in a guy you’ve met once (and has 19 other girls competing for him).

9. Reality dating shows remind me of group interviews, except a thousand times worse.

In a group interview, an applicant wears a suit and heels and tries to both play nice with fellow candidates and stand out from the crowd to attract the attention of the hiring manager.

In a reality dating show, a participant wears a party dress and tries to both play nice with fellow contestants and stand out from the crowd to attract the attention of the hiring manager man of the moment.

In a group interview, your prize will be the job you wanted. In a reality dating show, your prize is a relationship that past experience has shown will last a month after the show wraps up filiming (to be fair, except for Trista and Ryan).

10. I’d really like to see reality dating shows discuss the issues of money in relationships. But I guess that’s too boring of a topic for TV. But putting a bunch of people in a fancy mansion with no worries about money doesn’t quite seem like a ”realistic” way to begin a relationship.

Have anyone seen More To Love? What are your thoughts?

Random musings

Written by WellHeeled on July 30, 2009 · 6 Comments

- Finally got my deposit from previous apartment after much stress. $730 into the Freedom Fund.

- Working on a side project (I’ll call it PGP) that I am really hopeful will work out. If it goes well you’ll all hear about it. Just don’t want to jinx it right now.

- Had a bunch of informational interviews this month as I try to explore and refine various career (and life) paths open to me. Was very pleasantly surprised at people’s willingness to help and generosity with their time.

- Still dancing up a storm in salsa. Thinking of paying $50 for professional dance shoes.

- Still loving my landlord and landlady (who feed me homemade meals). If you follow me on twitter you know this already. Because I cannot stop talking about it. Ooops!

- Planning a big blog overhaul. A friend who is a SEO genuis will be helping me with blog migration, on-page and off-page optimization issues. My friends are so smart.

Trader Joe's best treats under $5

Written by WellHeeled on July 29, 2009 · 16 Comments

If you have a Trader Joe’s near you, and need some foodspiration, here are my favorite treats for under $5.

1. Flore de Moscato ($4.99) – delicious blend of Orange Muscat and Muscat Canneli. Great dessert wine to drink on its own or pair with some flourless chocolate cake. I’m not a big drinker, but I have a terrible sweet tooth. So… dessert wines are totally up my alley.

2. Chocolate croissant ($3.99) – Flaky, buttery pastry rolls with a chocolate log in the middle. Every package has 4 croissants. I’ve already waxed rhapsodic about this particular treat from TJ’s. In a nutshell, if loving these is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

3. Lemongrass chicken eggrolls ($2.99) – a package of 10 mini eggrolls that will bake up crispy and golden in your oven. Juicy chicken filling, with lemongrass and pepper. These treats would be perfect for finger foods.

4. Vermont apple chicken sausages ($3.49) – 5 pre-cooked sausages with the most delightful sweetness. I like to chop these sausages into thin slices, pan-fry them (no oil necessary) until browned, then just eat them by themselves or fold them into omelets with sauteed mushrooms and caramelized onions.

5. Mango sorbet ($3.99) – Honestly? Honestly?? This taste just like frozen, pureed mangos. This sorbet captures the essence of mango down to the fruit’s last pulpy drop. It’s the perfect indulgence on a Summer night.

6. Pizza Parlano ($4.69) – Best. Frozen. Pizza. Ever. Sausage, pepperonis, onions, bell peppers (i.e. my favorite ingredients on one pizza!). The meats are all nitrate-free, so I can indulge (relatively) guiltlessly. I just make one of these pizza and toss together a salad for a quick and yummy meal for two.

(Can you tell that I love adjectives related to food?)

Share your favorite under-$5 treats in the comments!

Why I ALWAYS buy in at the office lottery pool

Written by WellHeeled on July 28, 2009 · 19 Comments

I have never bought lottery tickets on my own. But if there’s a pool going on at the office, I’m there. I’ll run to my car and dig for change under my car seat if I have to.

Why do I do this?

Consider – there are 4 basic scenarios:

1. You participate – the pool loses.
2. You participate – the pool wins.
3. You don’t participate – the pool loses.
4. You don’t participate – the pool wins.

In Scenario 1: the most you will lose is your contribution ($1 or $2 or $5). Scenario 2 is the big one, of course – depending on how much you win, that can be financial freedom right there (or at least enough for a down payment or a year’s worth of Roth IRA contributions).

In Scenario 3: you don’t lose anything. You get to keep your dollar for tomorrow’s lunch, or whatever. But Scenario 4… Scenario 4 is the WORST possible scenario of them all. It’s the reason why I buy in lottery pools – not because I think I’ll win, but to protect myself against the horror that is Scenario 4.

I understand that the chance of the office pool winning is small. Very, very, very small. Close to impossible, even. But I’m not talking about probability here – I’m talking about being the only person who did not participate in the lottery and now has to watch all his/her coworkers jubilantly cash their million-dollar payouts.

I most happily and willingly pay my dollar or two to insure against that scenario from coming true.

Do you always buy in at the office lotto pool?

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Where $500K gets you.. blah

Written by WellHeeled on July 27, 2009 · 17 Comments

Over the weekend I went house-hunting with my parents (one of our favorite family outings – fun, free, and educational)!

We saw two places, and I realized here’s what $500K can buy in my little slice of Southern California:

A townhouse ($495,000): The 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 3-car garage townhouse was new (built in 2007) and on a nice street, but we can already tell construction wasn’t up to par. The stone floor in the kitchen has already show several cracks, and the floor isn’t level.
Single-family home ($500,000): The house had an irregular layout, with a couple of room extensions/additions. It was old. (So old, in fact, that the real estate flyer didn’t say what year it was built). It would take a lot of money to make the house comfortable. It was also a neighborhood eyesore.

I felt somewhat discouraged after looking at those places. Half-a-million apparently gets you… the above examples.

Good thing I won’t be planning to buy for several years – that will give me a chance to, ah, recalibrate my real estate expectations.

My Last Duchess

Written by WellHeeled on July 26, 2009 · 12 Comments

Or, creepiest poem I’ve read.

That’s my last duchess painted on the wall,
Looking as if she were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now: Frà Pandolf’s hands
Worked busily a day, and there she stands.
Will’t please you sit and look at her? I said
“Frà Pandolf” by design, for never read
Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
The depth and passion of its earnest glance,
But to myself they turned (since none puts by
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I)
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst,
How such a glance came there; so, not the first
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, ’twas not
Her husband’s presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the Duchess’ cheek: perhaps
Frà Pandolf chanced to say “Her mantle laps
“Over my lady’s wrist too much,” or “Paint
“Must never hope to reproduce the faint
“Half-flush that dies along her throat”: such stuff
Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough
For calling up that spot of joy. She had
A heart how shall I say? too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.
Sir, ’twas all one! My favor at her breast,
The dropping of the daylight in the West,
The bough of cherries some officious fool
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
She rode with round the terrace all and each
Would draw from her alike the approving speech,
Or blush, at least. She thanked men good! but thanked
Somehow I know not how as if she ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name
With anybody’s gift. Who’d stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech which I have not to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, “Just this
“Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss,
“Or there exceed the mark” and if she let
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and make excuse,
E’en then would be some stooping; and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive. Will’t please you rise? We’ll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master’s known munificence
Is ample warrant that no just pretense
Of mine for dowry will be disallowed;
Though his fair daughter’s self, as I avowed
At starting, is my object. Nay we’ll go
Together down, sir. Notice Neptune, though,
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me!

He totally killed her. Basically, for smiling too much. And now he’s negotiating for another duchess. *Shudder*

Surrendering to salsa

Written by WellHeeled on July 25, 2009 · 3 Comments

A few years ago a book came out titled “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle. The book caught on very quickly due to its controversial premise, i.e. that the key to a happy marriage is for the woman to “surrender” to the designated head-of-household, the husband. This surrendering would also entail that the wife hand over all financial decisions to her husband.

I read so much about the book (alternately skewered and praised) in articles and op-eds that I had to read it just to see what the notoriety was about.

Here’s a Publisher’s Weekly review on the book: “[Doyle's]…main point is that when she criticized, nagged and tried to control her husband, the marriage suffered; but when she “surrendered,” letting him do things his way and make decisions for the family, he rose to the occasion, becoming a responsible and loving husband and making her feel protected and cared for.”

While I agree that overly-controlling wives spouses (after all, control issues can exist in men and women) aren’t good for a healthy marriage, I couldn’t agree with the book’s practical applications. Cede all financial decision-making authority?? A shudder crept up my spine when I read that part. I have to admit that that advice very likely biased me against the rest of the book.

However, I have applied Ms. Doyle’s principles of, er, surrendering to another part of my life…

SALSA!

I’ve been taking classes weekly, and it’s truly one of the highlights of my week. A good salsa is like a great conversation – energetic, provocative, interesting, fun. I wonder how many classes I have to take before I am confident enough to go dance at a salsa club…

When I first started dancing, I had a tendency to anticipate choreographed steps . I’d get thrown off if the Lead improvises or does something differently than what the teacher had demonstrated. So instead of dancing WITH a partner, I was dancing TO a choreography.

Needless to say, dancing with a (good) partner is so more fun than memorizing steps. Now, I make a real effort to be more conscious of the Lead’s positioning and more responsive to his guidance.

You know what this means… if a couple does something wrong in salsa, it’s all the guy’s fault!

I’ve been fortunate to dance with some very good Leads in my classes, and a couple of not-so-great ones. The best part about dancing as a girl is the experience of dancing with a good Lead – someone who gently but firmly guides you through the moves so that you know exactly what you’re supposed to do, and you have enough time to display your own flair in the dance.

When I danced with more experienced Leads, sometimes I do turns and crossovers and I don’t even know how I did them! When the Lead is good, the Follow looks great, and everything flows. With all the emphasis on “leadership” in this world (ahem, bschools?!), I’m more than happy to “surrender” to the art of followership in this aspect of my life.

Besides, I’d much rather be a surrendered salsera than a surrendered wife.

Some of my favorite country songs

Written by WellHeeled on July 24, 2009 · 14 Comments

*Inspired by listening to country songs while working late
**I know, many people don’t like country music. To those, I ask, whyyy?

1. Troubadour (George Strait) – “Sometimes I feel like Jesse James, still trying to make a name. Knowing nothing’s change, what I am. I was a young troubadour when I rode in on a song. I’ll be an old troubadour, when I’m gone.”

2. Startin’ With Me (Jake Owen) – “I let a woman that I loved slip through my fingers, chalked another dumb move up to my foolish pride. I wasn’t there standing by the bed, when the preacher bowed his head. With the family, the day my grandma died.”

3. Every Time I Hear Your Name (Keith Anderson) – “I know I can’t go back, but I still go back. There we are, parked down by the riverside. And I’m in your arms, about to make love for first time. And that’s all it takes. And I’m in that place. Every time I hear your name.”

4. As Good As I Once Was (Toby Keith) – “I ain’t as good as I once was. I’ve got a few years on me now. But there was a time, back in my prime, when I can really lay it down. If you need some love tonight, then I might have just enough. I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.”

5. Picture (Kid Rock ft. Sheryl Crow) – “I’ve been waiting on you for a long time, fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine, I ain’t heard from you in three damn nights. I put your picture away. I wonder where you’ve been. I can’t look at you while I’m lying next to him.”

6. I Wonder (Kellie Pickler) – “Oh I hear the weather’s nice in California. There are sunny skies as far as the eye can see. If you ever come back home to Carolina, I wonder what you’d say to me.”

What’re your favorite country songs? Add a snippet of the lyrics too, if you don’t mind.

When I grow up I want to be a guiltless mom

Written by WellHeeled on July 20, 2009 · 9 Comments

My mother is a towering figure in my world – I’ve always secretly thought that she can’t possibly be as whip-smart and determined and rational as I think she is… can she?

Fabulously Broke wrote an interesting post on stay-at-home mothers. The post got me thinking… I don’t quite know what to think when it comes to the “debate” on stay-at-home mothers vs. working mothers. Even though I see myself as a working mom, all moms just try to make the best choice they can for themselves and their family, right? Can’t we just ditch the guilt and get along?

My mother always worked, though she always made sure she can pick me up from school and cook me my favorite meals. We didn’t spend a lot of time together otherwise (although Mom DID sit me down and walked me through the calculations of prepaying a mortgage when I was in middle school).

I don’t ever remember wanting more time with her. I suppose it was because I was a fairly private child. I had my books and girlish secrets and I wasn’t a fan of heart-to-hearts. Too awkward and revealing. My thoughts were my own. MINE! (I was also really stubborn).

The only time I remembered missing Mom was when I was very young, when she went to work overseas for almost five years. I grew up with very loving grandparents who coddled me a bit (OK – a lot). Mom missed out on a big chunk of my childhood, but I have never felt bad about it.

It was always something that she had to do in order to give me a better opportunity. If Mom ever suffered any guilt over the situation, it didn’t show. There was no hand-wringing or second-guessing, at least not in front of her child.

As I grow older, I really think that that no-nonsense manner is the best way to act when a mother (or father, or both, as it was in my case) decides to work overseas, work domestically, or for whatever reason cannot spend as much time with their children as they’d like (or think they should). This matter-of-fact approach shows children that things, while maybe not ideal right now, will eventually be OK.

I think children are resilient and can adapt to most circumstances as long as they know that they are loved and wanted. Don’t introduce guilt or confusion or self-flagellation into the picture. Most kids will do just fine.

Forget Supermom. If I become a mother, I just want to be a guiltless mom.

Food is the Currency of a Mother's Love

Written by WellHeeled on July 20, 2009 · 16 Comments

Or, at least, my mother’s love.

Mom called me last night and suggested and CB and I go to brunch with her and Dad this weekend. Of course I accepted. Outing with parents = free food! Mmmm… I’m already dreaming of BBQ pork buns and shrimp dumplings.

Even though I have paid for dinner on few special occasions (Dad’s birthday, family gathering with aunts and uncles visting from overseas), my parents still pay for the vast majority of our meals together.

For now, I’m still young enough that the thinking in my family goes: ”parents should feed the kid.” I figure I have until 30 before the balances tips to “kid should treat the parents” when it comes to normal meals out.

Does anyone else’s parents do this?

(500) Days of Summer

Written by WellHeeled on July 19, 2009 · 6 Comments

Saw the movie today… if you have a chance to go see it, go!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tom Hansen) and Zooey Deschanel (Summer Finn) make an adorable couple. But don’t get your heart set on their happy ending, because, as the narrator warns you at the beginning of the movie – “this is not a love story.”

The back-and-forth and the ups-and-downs are accompanied by zany sidekicks and a preternaturally insightful kid sister. It’s funny and light-hearted at times, but at others – it speaks to harsh truths of life as an young adult in a big city where possibilities seem to be zooming by you.

(500) Days, in my mind, is really a story about twentysomethings finding their way in the personal and professional sphere. It’s about the discoveries you make as you grow up - that love might not be all that you’ve expected, that following your passion (be it a person or a career) means risking rejection, that life is filled with moments that are inexplicably glorious and undeservedly cruel.

(500) Days is not just a love story. It’s a life story. I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s performance really made this movie. And I’m not just saying that because I have a small crush on Mr. Gordon-Levitt.

If you saw this movie, what’d you think?

By the numbers

Written by WellHeeled on July 16, 2009 · 4 Comments

$434 = Federal and State taxes saved per pay period **at first I thought my net pay should be higher, but then I remembered that Social Security and Medicare taxes are not affected by deductions in taxable income
$4783 = taxes saved for 2009 if I max out 401K (~$434 per pay period x 11 pay periods)
$1,000 = make-up tax payment that I will NOT have to pay come April 2010
$1,700 = what I have left to spend per month
$1,200 = absolute fixed costs (rent, insurance, student loan)
$500 = what I have to spend on everything else (food, gas, car repairs, misc., etc.)
$0 = anticipated leftover at the end of the month

Things I Wish I Would’ve Known in My Twenties

Written by WellHeeled on July 15, 2009 · 38 Comments

Writing about Future Me has gotten me thinking… what would she want me to know? This is where the perspective and advice of those who have come before me is invaluable.

I don’t have a crystal ball, but I figured I have the next best thing: I can reach out to all of my readers who have survived their twenties and ask you: what are your answers to the title of this post?

Imagine that you can travel back in time and have a 2-hour conversation with your 25 (or 26, or 27, or 28)-year-old self – what do you want him/her to know about love, relationships, money, career, children, health, education, etc?

What mistakes do you want to caution him/her against? What adventures do you encourage him/her to undertake? Who was the one that got away? What kind of life is a well-examined life? Is the well-examined life the happiest?

Please leave a comment or send me an email with your thoughts. You can be as public or as anonymous as you’d like. It would be helpful if you can give your age or an age range (30-35, etc.) and a brief biographical sketch.

Thank you to everyone who contributes! I know the twentysomethings who read this blog (and me!!) will appreciate this.

Edit: Thanks to everyone who’ve commented. Please keep the comments coming! All life advice will be appreciate, doesn’t have to be limited to personal finance.

The one in which Present Me kowtows to Future Me

Written by WellHeeled on July 14, 2009 · 5 Comments

The one in which I care about Future Me’s money

Tomorrow’s paycheck is the first of my $1,500 contribution to 401(K). If all goes according to plan, as of December 15, 2009 I should have $16,500 in contributions.

If I can do this I’ll be very proud of myself … on so many levels, beyond just the financial commitment.

To date, I’ve contributed ~$28,000 to retirement funds, beginning in 2006 when I first started working (and nope, I’m not looking at the current value).

Maxing out the 401(K) would be absolutely fabulous (I do not usually use the word fabulous – but an additional $16,500 in retirement accounts would, indeed, be fabulous).

It would also ease the pressure on retirement contributions for 2010 (the year, I hope, I begin grad school). I also hope to squeeze in some travel before school starts – planning a mother-daughter trip to China, and would really like to go to the Galapagos (from my “big-ticket dreams travel” list).

The one in which I care about Future Me’s memories

The problem is, I don’t know if I can find a travel companion to Galapagos. But I really want to go. So maybe I can get paired up with another single lady for a double room and avoid paying the singles supplement fee.

Maybe I should just go for it – say that if I can max out the 401(K) for 2009, and save $10,000 for retirement for 2010, then I’m just going to take off and head to the Galapagos islands for a week?

That’d be motivation…

I’m being pretty good to Future Me, eh? I hope she appreciates it when she’s an 80-year-old rocking out in her rocking chair, listening to oldies such as Brad Paisley and Maroon 5, and NOT eating cat food.

Answer: Totally worth the $80 I spent

Written by WellHeeled on July 13, 2009 · 13 Comments

Question: How do I feel about the most expensive meal I’ve ever paid for by myself?

The setting: Michelin-starred restaurant upon a hill.
The food: delicious and well-presented.
The company: my girlfriends and I, decked out in cocktail dresses and heels.

But what really stayed with me was the impeccable service – friendly, informative, unfailingly polite and never pretentious. The décor was gorgeous too – it’s as if I wandered into a dining room decorated by a very wealthy individual with very good taste (or an interior designer).

The entire dinner took almost 3 hours, including a pre-appetizer and pre-dessert compliments of the chef. All in all, a wonderful experience.

I ordered a prix fixe menu and the total tab came out to $80 including tax and tip. It was the most I’ve ever spent on a meal, for myself. That’s a special occasion type of dinner.

Funny to think that when I was in middle school, a $3 box of popcorn chicken from KFC was considered a special treat – by my 8th-grade culinary standard, I’ve definitely made it.

What’s the most expensive meal you’ve ever spent on yourself (excluding meals dined on the company, date, or parental tab)? Was it worth it?

Favorite treats from chain stores

Written by WellHeeled on July 12, 2009 · 14 Comments

In no particular order…

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf: Strawberry cream tea latte – iced or hot, depending on the weather and my mood ($4)

Starbucks: Iced chai latte ($3)

In-N-Out: Hamburger with extra grilled onions ($2)

McDonalds: Sausage egg McMuffin ($2.50)

Pinkberry: Pomegranate yogurt with mochi, mangos, and blueberries ($6)

Coldstone: Sweet cream ice cream with brownie, bananas, and fudge ($5)

Rubio’s: Fish taco ($2) – but I can never just have one.

Chipotle: Fajita bowl with barbarcoa with extra corn salsa ($7)

What are your favorite treats? And what do you pay?

Recession reflections

Written by WellHeeled on July 12, 2009 · 7 Comments

Even in (or because of?) this recession, I find that among twentysomethings I know, most are less willing to trade adventure / soul-searching for security.

Example 1: 25-year-old who quits job with decent pay to travel the world in search of the Next Big Wave.
Example 2: 23-year-old who uses layoff from the Big 4 to figure out how to break into acting / entertainment business.
Example 3: 27-yeard old quits consulting gig to start a start-up. Went from $100K+ paycheck to ramen noodles – but, he’s living his dream.
Example 4: Several quarterlifers living the funemployment life.

In all of these cases, these are high-achieving people in college who went after the big jobs during recruiting. In most cases, having worked for a year or two or three, they have saved up enough to fund their traveling costs or start-up expenses. Self-discovery is a lifelong process, but these twentysomethings are getting a jump start on their roaring twenties.

Money can shackle you or liberate you. It’s gratifying to see them out there, pursuing their dreams and trying to figure out what makes them happy and what gives their lives meaning.

Life’s too short not to.

Why I'm Not Saving for My Child's Diapers

Written by WellHeeled on July 9, 2009 · 17 Comments

A couple days ago, Ramit blogged about 10-year saving strategy to “leave your friends in the dust” after you’ve already handled the basics of saving and investing. In his post, Ramit talked about saving for the things that’re likely to happen 10 years down the road – weddings, babies, vacations, etc.

Here is what will happen to you as you get older:

Yes, you WILL have a nice and very expensive wedding (even if you’re a hypocrite and think you’ll have a “small, beautiful” wedding)

Yes, you WILL have kids and want to buy them nice stuff

Yes, you will need things like family health insurance and life insurance and homeowners’ insurance and family vacations and other things that you can’t predict right now because you’re not in that life situation

Yes, these expenses WILL come up. People like to believe they’re the exception. BUT YOU’RE NOT. YOU WILL HAVE KIDS. YOUR KIDS WILL BE WHINY AND REQUIRE LOTS OF DIAPERS. THEY WILL POOP ALL OVER THE PLACE AND REQUIRE 10X MORE PAPER TOWELS AND CLOTHES AND CRIBS. PLEASE BELIEVE THIS.

Sounds great, right? What personal finance blogger doesn’t like to plan ahead?

BUT - I don’t think Ramit’s 10-year Saving Strategy is for me. Not because the idea doesn’t sound great in theory, or because it wouldn’t work well for some people - it’s just not my cup of tea.

I might be a planner, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I refuse to save for a wedding when I’m not engaged. And what happens if I don’t get married? I can take that money and do something else, sure, but why not just name it a Future Fund as Little Miss Moneybags have done?

As for babies, well, I’m not sure I’ll have a child, but assuming I do, how do I know what to save for? Hey, my baby might be a genius who gets a full-ride to college (a PF-er can dream, can’t she? )

Another issue is Ramit’s litany of things we need to save for (for our Future Self) can be overwhelming. On his little napkin sketch, Ramit’s 10-year strategy calls for $6,000 in savings per month to pay for my $30,000 wedding, $33,060 down payment, and various other items 10 years down the road. That’s just, er, a bit outside my budget right now.

I’m going to enjoy being young and carefree for a while longer. That means I’m saving for retirement, and when I’m thinking seriously about buying a home I’ll start saving for a down payment. But there’s no way that I’m going to start saving for my unborn child’s DIAPERS or family vacations after my child is successfully toilet-trained (after, I presume, using a mountain of diapers that I failed to save for).

I understand Ramit’s point – that there will be things that come up in my 30s and 40s that I might not have thought about in my 20s. I’m not discounting the importance of saving for the fuzzy future – after all, what’s fuzzier than retirement 40 years in the horizon? So I suppose I’m doing something similar to what Ramit suggests, just in a different manner.

I’m saving as much as I can for retirement and mid-term cash needs now (i.e. MY vacation and graduate school costs), so that I have the flexiblity to save for other priorities as they come up later.

In the end, though I agree with many of the concepts Ramit touched upon, his method isn’t motivating for me. Fortunately, there are many paths to get to the same end goal (financial preparedness), so to each his or her own.

What do you think? Do you follow Ramit’s 10-year Saving Strategy?