Writing about Future Me has gotten me thinking… what would she want me to know? This is where the perspective and advice of those who have come before me is invaluable.
I don’t have a crystal ball, but I figured I have the next best thing: I can reach out to all of my readers who have survived their twenties and ask you: what are your answers to the title of this post?
Imagine that you can travel back in time and have a 2-hour conversation with your 25 (or 26, or 27, or 28)-year-old self – what do you want him/her to know about love, relationships, money, career, children, health, education, etc?
What mistakes do you want to caution him/her against? What adventures do you encourage him/her to undertake? Who was the one that got away? What kind of life is a well-examined life? Is the well-examined life the happiest?
Please leave a comment or send me an email with your thoughts. You can be as public or as anonymous as you’d like. It would be helpful if you can give your age or an age range (30-35, etc.) and a brief biographical sketch.
I hope to organize the answers into a follow-up post (or maybe even a free PDF to be downloaded – all contributions will be properly attributed).
Thank you to everyone who contributes! I know the twentysomethings who read this blog (and me!!) will appreciate this.
Edit: Thanks to everyone who’ve commented. Please keep the comments coming! All life advice will be appreciate, doesn’t have to be limited to personal finance. 
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{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Ooh i can’t wait to see the answers to this one!!! GOOD POST!
I will definitely be interested to see some of the answers in this thread. I am 22, have been married for two years, and we bought our first house about a month ago.
Thankfully, I realized that it is a good idea to listen to people who are older and smarter than you, so I’ve done that. We’re debt free except the house and should be done with that by the time I’m 25.
Bring on the advice!
Dear thisisbeth 1999,
You don’t want to hear this right now. I know. But here are some things to consider:
Save money. You’re not in debt (good work!), but you really have no savings. Start reading blogs, books, etc., on frugality. Keep a budget. But hold off on buying a house until the prices start becoming reasonable. They will. And when they do, have the money saved for a down payment.
Seriously consider what you think you should be doing and why you’re not doing it. The reasons are really stupid. Trust in yourself more.
Take some classes. It doesn’t matter what classes you take. Got to the local community college and take a class or two on anything.
Change jobs. I know you hate change, but by the time you’re ready for a totally new career, the economy will suck and it will be nigh on impossible to get a new job when you’ve only worked in one industry…that you’re not enthralled with.
And for the love of all that’s sane…exercise. It’s never easy to lose weight, so you might as well do it now, and getting into shape would be awesome.
Good luck, thisisbeth. I’m waiting for you in 2009. It’s a good time, though.
thisisbeth 2009
Lurker coming out…
Jenn, Your parents really do know best. You would have saved yourself so much trouble and heartache if you would have listened more to them. Why does it taking hitting your late twenties to finally realize that? When I was making loads of money in my early twenties and they were telling me to save, but I had no bills so I just spent and spent, if I had only listened I would have a house instead of this tiny apt. Listen to the people with more experience than you, they have already been there!
If this market driven interest rate is manipulated by increasing the money supply (money being used to measure wealth), investors and consumers are fooled into thinking that, a) Investors can make the investments and b) Consumers can keep on consuming. This creates a dislocation of consumption versus investment or savings, ending up in resources being gobbled up faster than if the investments were not made or the consumption delayed. This is the boom-bust cycle
1. Still in my 20s, but I think in university, I would have tried to have been more frugal and minimalist, and less spendy.
“Do I really need that Ikea chair??”
That sort of thing.
2. Seriously consider what you’re taking in school and what PRACTICAL application you could have for your education after you graduate.
If you don’t have a practical application, take a break and find it.
Don’t waste your money on useless classes and books.
3. Learning how to cook is another major thing, but I learned that during my 20s and still think it’s a useful skill for all.
4. Live in the smallest apartment you can, and save as much money as possible on RENT. No need for the 3-bedroom whopper to live in by yourself (which is what I had, because I hated roommates and wanted space) DUH!
5. If you can, live at home and pay rent there. I lived in residence for the first year, but could have saved that money and stayed at home with my parents in the city.
I just thought res life would be so different.. and it wasn’t. sadly.
That’s about all I’ve got. I just wish I had the personal finance basics down, like savings, an emergency fund… lowering debt.. and instead of spending my debt loans a bit too freely.
I am 27, married for one year, just bought our first place this summer.
I would tell myself that when your then boyfriend (now husband) moves 900 miles away for a job after he graduates and you have a year of school left, you will suffer heartache for a year, but he comes back, and it’s all totally worth it.
I would tell myself that taking that awful job right out of college turned into the best opportunity I have ever had, so that year of hell is totally worth it for the job opportunity that you will happen upon when you are totally miserable and wanting to get out of there.
I would also say that when you plan your wedding, stick to your guns, and do what YOU want (which I actually did, and I couldn’t have been happier).
Off the top of my head, a few things come to mind:
(Let me start by saying I am 27)
-Save more money as soon I began working after college. I was too tempted to spend on items I wasn’t able to buy as freely before.
-Start a retirement fund earlier. Why wait until 25? Start at 21.
-Material items often do not last longer than a sturdy savings will.
Another delurker–The financial stuff is being well covered here (start saving now, don’t get into debt, etc) and by the articles in the blog , you have a pretty firm grasp of what you are doing with your money. From the point of view of a 38 year old–
Stay active! Stay fit! Don’t skip the doctors appointments, and tell them everything!
A relatively minor issue that could be picked up through regular appointments and discussions with your doctor can become serious later–even if it doesn’t seem like a symptom.
I spent my late twenties and early thirties rather sick without even knowing it due to severe hypothyroidism. If I had been going to a doctor regularly, the sudden weight gain and other symptoms could very well have been picked up MUCH sooner.
Ack, am I the only 30-something here? I’m 33 and have a million things I wish I could tell my younger self. Financially, don’t live beyond your means. That debt can quickly get out of control and that all those little purchases add up to big money. Start saving for retirement, even though it seems so far away. Save and invest immediately, don’t wait for later. It much harder to catch up.
I’m 28 (gah, I’m almost 30) but things I would say to my 18 to 20-year-old self would be:
1) In college, spend a semester or year abroad if you can afford it/without going into student loan hell to finance it. The experience will offer you a lifetime of perspective (I still got this experience by working abroad for a summer). I don’t regret many things from college, but this is one of them.
2) Start saving for your future home as soon as possible, even if it’s only a few dollars here and there every day, week, month. How I wish sometimes that I’d come of age in the 1980s or earlier, when houses didn’t seem so unaffordable compared to people’s incomes. I know it’s still possible to buy reasonable homes in many areas of the country, but I’d like to buy a home in So Cal some day and home prices there are still crazy in the areas I want to live.
3) Don’t stress over lame people or friends. It’s not worth the time or effort and in a few years, all that drama will be behind you.
Hmm, to clarify, I regret not studying abroad in college!
Miss M you are not the only 30 something on here! I would advise not to rush into home ownership. Even if you can afford the payments, think about where you want to be and don’t just buy a house because you can and want one.
Make sure you enjoy your 20’s. Saving is great and all but you will soon feel the burden of getting older and you will not be as carefree as in your 20’s. I mean its great to max out your 401k but you are never going to have the chance to travel for extended periods or completely change lifestyles with minimal impact. Be prudent but don’t *just* save for later — enjoy it now.
This is fantastic! I am so excited!
1) I wish I would have never signed up for a single credit card.
2) I wish I would have studied abroad during college.
3) Know when to cut your losses in a relationship. Don’t spend five years trying to make things work, when deep down you know that it won’t. Dealing with the hurt sooner, the better.
4) Don’t try to make friends happy that aren’t really friends.
5) East less and move more.
6) I still wish I would have bought that perfect purse that was on sale last summer.
Well, I’m 21, but I have a lot of things I want to tell my younger self.
-Guys aren’t worth it. Never put them first. They should go into the entertainment category. If he IS worth it, he’ll prove it to you
-Don’t listen to your parents. It’s YOUR future. Start going to career workshops early and apply to the schools of your dreams! Going to college far away might make them nervous, but that’s part of being a parent.
-Don’t overload yourself. College IS harder than highschool. Just because you could juggle six classes, chauffeuring your little sisters to their schools for two hours out of your day at least, and excelling in piano and sports, doesn’t mean you can in college.
-Get a part time job while you’re at home. At most. If you don’t need it, then don’t work so hard! School should come first.
-If you end up going to the local Community College because your parent don’t want you to leave, sign up for a good transfer program and stick to it. College is getting more and more competitive.
-Basically every guys you’re gonna date after your first (amazing) boyfriend that you stupidly broke up up will not be worth it. Trust me. Don’t stoop so low.
-Be honest with your parents. Tell them how you feel.
Gosh I feel so old and behind already
It was a particularly shitty time for me:
Dear me,
“Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?” ~ Dale Carnegie
Don’t worry…this too shall pass.
Love,
Me
I’d like to chime in that it is ok to use student loans to study abroad (especially if you are using them to study anyway) assuming you are confident you will be able to pay it back with no trouble. Now vacation time is the larger issue, and I consider the money well spent.
I’m 29, which almost counts, so here goes:
1. If you are not happy, leave him. Immediately. Period. Not only will you find someone else sooner than you think, but being alone is better than being with someone who’s not meeting your needs. You are a hotter commodity than you think you are.
2. If someone tells you they have an apartment in Greece for the next six months and that you should totally come out to visit, GO. Just go! This applies to a lot of other things people invite you to as well: a ball game, a weekend trip, over for tea, whatever. Just go.
3. You don’t really need to hit the bar quite so often in college. Maybe put some money away every now and again so you can afford to move to New York immediately after school.
4. Don’t let your personal issues affect how you relate to others. Particularly during that first job out of school: You should be brown-nosing and working rather than dating.
5. Loud, bitchy girls are just that, even when they call you their friend (at first). Don’t fall into their web.
6. Anytime you move into an apartment, no matter how temporary, put pictures and art on the walls. Make any place you stay feel like your home, and you’ll feel more comfortable being alone in it.
7. Take creative writing classes in college, and, um, maybe actually read most of the books you’re assigned in your English classes. To quote the ever wise Judge Judy, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”
Young Carrie – all those boys that broke your heart just led you on the path to someone who you were meant to be with. You have to sift through the bad ones to appreciate the perfect one.
Finance related – nothing. You have to make those mistakes to learn from them.
I’m only 24, but financial issues usually begin much younger, so I have a piece of advice for my younger self: BACK AWAY FROM THE CREDIT CARD! If you can’t afford something, don’t buy it.
And, even though living alone is nice, save money and move in with roommates right after college.
I think I’m the oldest one here… I’m 37, have a 3yr old and have been married for 7 years. If I could go back…
1. Put down the credit card application.
2. Drink less, excercise more.
3. If you can (no kids, pets, etc) travel, visit friends, jump on every opportunity.
4. Study abroad.
5. Stay in touch with important people from your past.
6. Don’t stay if it is not right. You’ll find the right person when you least expect it.
7. Go to graduate school.
8. Make all your payments on time – credit scores really do matter.
9. And the thing I did right? Move away – live in different places – take chances!
I am 37 soon to be 38 in 2 months. If I could go back to former self this is what I would say:
To my 20 y.o self:
1. Go to a trade school or do what you love to do.
2. Work, save, and plan
3. You don’t need every Credit card out there
4. Don’t help your lazy ass boyfriend or make him authorized user on your cards.
To my 25 y.o self:
1. Work, save, and plan
2. Date as many men as you can
3. Move out on your own
4. Be prepared for little boys pretending to be men.
To my 30 y.o self:
1. If it too go to be true, it probably is
2. Be true to yourself
3. Work, save, and plan
4. Be aware of who you are dealing with
5. Take better care of yourself.
To my 35 y.o self:
1. You know he is full of shit
2. Move to Indy
3. Work, save, and plan
4. Date someone who has some sense and knows how to work, save, and plan.
5. You are worth more than what you think.
This 20-something will be glad when this post/pdf comes out!
I’m 26, but would tell my younger self a few things
- don’t be too lazy to write the paper on your research! The Westinghouse scholarship isn’t that unreachable!
-Don’t jump too fast into buying a house… especially the “perfect house” on a busy street in a not so nice area…
Finance wise -
- put all your earnings in a roth ira asap! You may not qualify for one when you want to do it.
dear 20 y/o me,
you dont have to get married right now. if you love each other, you have the rest of your life to get married. go to college, save money, get rid of your debt, BOTH OF YOU.
then you wouldn’t be here at 25, barely finishing school, struggling in this crap economy to keep food on the table or RENTING. you could own your house and be putting your daughter through dance classes, saving for her college fund and taking her around the world. good luck, youre gonna need it.
To my 16 self – listen to your boss when he tells you to contribute to your 401k with a great company match
Kat,
I was in a similar situation. I had my daughter when I was nineteen and her father and I separated before she was a year old. I graduated from college at 26 and I am still struggling and renting at 28. Although my situation is less precarious now then it was when I was 25 (I was laid off and living in a horrible neighborhood with roommates) I am barely hanging on to my job right now due to mass layoffs at my company.
The thing is, dance lessons are nice, but not having them won’t matter to your daughter when she is older. Go for a walk in the evening with her, hug her and read to her at night. That is what she will remember. She will also know how strong you are, as you working your behind off to support her, go to school and putting food on the table. BE proud of yourself as you are accomplishing a lot. Keep going and working hard, eventually it will pay off.
As usual Wanda, very thought-provoking post. Looking back from the vantage point of a 39 year-old author & personal finance expert for women, I’d say…
ON LOVE: Oh, how I hated it when people would say “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” But that’s exactly what I found. I married my most incredible husband at the ripe old age of 36 and it was so totally worth the wait.
ON RELATIONSHIPS: Talk about money early and often with each other. Really. There’s a reason why money the #1 cause of fights/divorce. Break the mold… Get Financially Naked with each other (full disclosure, that’s also the name of my new book coming out in Jan 2010)
ON MONEY: The money you save early on is the most powerful money you’ll ever stash away. Listen to Wanda, live like Wanda, and you’ll be well on your way to financial nirvana.
ON CAREERS: Another cliche – “Do what you love and the money will follow…” I hated that one too, seemed so dreamy & unrealistic. But, yep, it’s turned out to be true too!
ON CHILDREN: Some of us ladies just don’t have a biological clock ticking away. If you, like me, feel you just weren’t meant to be a mom… don’t feel pressured, embrace it. Everyone is different. And that’s a good thing.
ON HEALTH: OhMyHeaven… yes, your metabolism really does slow down as you approach forty. So have fun and eat up in your 20s, because you’ll have to seriously tone it down as the years tick by
ON EDUCATION: Become an expert in something. Could be anything from the nuances of mutual fund investing to how to make the perfect chocolate truffle. Doesn’t matter what. Just find something you feel passionate about and keep on learning about it. The sense of satisfaction, self-confidence, and self-esteem that comes from having a skill that you continually hone is priceless.
Great responses, as a 28 year old here are mine:
Save just a little more from your office job between degrees- you worked for a company that ran private pension plans but did you get one? no.
Less shoes, more travel- you were in Europe- there are cheap flights everywhere, soon you will be on another continent (who knew?!) and you will end up giving more than half your shoes to your friends before you move!
Stay away from those men named Andy- your friends did warn you after the first 2 but you failed to heed their advice.
Exercise more- you will fall in love with an avid hiker and boy will you struggle to keep up!
It’s your body, if you aren’t sure the doctor is right see someone else the next day not three months later!
Go travelling with B, or at least visit her on her trip, such an awesome opportunity to have seen some of Africa.
To that end I think I’ll start saving for a trip to visit my friend in Japan next year- I’d hate for almost 40 year old me to tell me off for missing that opportunity!
Some really great advice here.
I would tell my former self that being premed is not working just drop it. It is okay if you were not meant to be a doctor. If your heart is telling you to be a Spanish major and travel, just do it. It is not going to lead you to the path of doom not being a science major.
Follow your gut instincts
Dont listen to people who are giving you bad financial advice
Be more confident in your abilities. You are smart! You didnt get into this school because you were a dummy.
Friends will not always look out for your best interest. They are too self absorbed to even be useful sometimes.
Stay away from credit cards. No one told me anything about credit cards so I learned the hard way.
If a guy is making you feel bad about yourself or bugging you, leave him alone.
Just turned 37. School was not for me, waste of time and money. Investing was not for me, waste of time and money. If I was as confident as I am now I would have gotten further in life.
I’m not thirty yet…and I’m loving this advice! Although…all of the most beautiful moments of my life so far have been the result of only selectively hearing some of the great advice which has been given to me. So, for my part, the advice would be that while safety is great, life is best lived a little recklessly. Wisdom comes from making mistakes and learning, not living in a bubble.
My birthday is this week, and I’m in my early 30’s…so this is timely. some of my mistakes turned out to be huge learning lessons, so I’m only mentioning my true, deep regrets here:
spend more time with your grandparents. video tape them, get their stories. Soon they won’t be around to do that with. and you will miss them every. single. day.
It is totally ok to fail, but it is NOT ok to not do your best because you are afraid that you will try your hardest and still fail. that’s dumb.
You know that guy that makes you feel amazing and would do anything for? And how he obviously feels the same way? He’s sooooo not just a friend, so don’t go after the ‘hot’ guy instead of him. Oof, tough lesson.
stop staying in jobs and relationships just because you hate change!!!! It is so much worse when you wait for things to fall apart slowly compared to when you take charge and make the change when you KNOW things are not working.
likewise, you have a strong gut. stop ignoring the thing and rationalizing your feelings!! You will know when you are unhappy, and it’s your job to then make changes.
visit, email, call your friends more, and don’t ignore them when you have a significant other. they are the ones that will be there when things fall apart.
It is ok to ask for help. Therapy isn’t a bad word.
Now my challenge is to listen to myself so that I don’t have the same advice for myself when i’m 40!
Well-Heeled, love the post.
Miss M, another 30-something here…I just turned 33 last week.
Here is what I would tell my 20-something self:
Wait until AFTER college to get a credit card.
Don’t waste almost all 4 years of college dating a guy you won’t marry. You’ll learn a lot, but it doesn’t cancel out the opportunities you lost.
Post-breakup, travel and have fun more and worry about finding a guy LESS. You won’t be single forever–it just seems that way. Most of those guys you like are total tools and are not deserving of 5 minutes of your pining away over them, let alone the hours you put into it.
Don’t waste time on the dating websites. You’ll meet your guy at a party, through mutual friends and acquaintances, the old-fashioned way.
Stick to your Southern guns and don’t EVER call or chase a guy. The few times you do will be some of your lowest points as a single girl.
Move to NYC like you always dreamed of doing. (I know, ex-Escape Brooklyn…I still wish I had done it for a year or two.)
Don’t let controlling family members hurt you or keep you from living your life.
Be grateful for the TRUE friends that you have (and they are fewer than you think). Don’t lose touch with them, if you can help it. Don’t think you’re too cool for certain ones now.
Here are a few things I’m glad I did:
Even though it wasn’t NYC, I did move to another city and it has been very good for me professionally and personally. I can’t imagine not doing the work that I do and especially not knowing BF and the friends I’ve made here…and so that was the right thing to do. I’m glad that I stuck it out when things were rough, too.
I didn’t marry my college boyfriend (see above). He was (and still is) a functioning alcoholic and who knows what our life would have turned out like.
Even though I had to work full-time all through college–my choice–(while going to school full-time), I have to disagree with those who said ‘live at home and save money’. Maybe so if you’re going to live in a dorm, but I lived in apartments and houses with roommates and had some of the best times of my life. Plus, I loved being on my ‘own’ and turning into an adult. No amt of money saved would be worth giving up some of the experiences I had! And if I had stayed at home with my controlling father–forget it.
I majored in English.
Hah, I beat everybody else so far for the title of Oldest Respondent. I turned 40 in March.
You’ve already got some great responses here. Much of what I have to say is along the same lines.
1. Floss every day. Maintenance issues will creep up on you sooner or later.
2. Exercise every day. They are not effing kidding about your metabolism slowing down! Maintenance issues will creep up on you sooner or later.
3. The furniture you buy will be in your life a LOT longer than you think. Save up and buy something nice, whether new or used.
4. Friends and family, and your relationships with people generally, are the most important aspect of your life. They will be the source of your best times and your support network when things get rough. Don’t neglect them for anything or anyone else.
5. Chase your dreams now, not later. Travel now, not later.
6. As Mark Twain once said, “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.” You are in charge of the furniture in your head. It will be with you a lot longer than you think. Choose and arrange it wisely.
Hello I’m about to turn 34 and feel that I’m in a good place in my life. Let me get to the point:
1)Don’t take on too much credit but don’t avoid it altogether. Learn HOW CREDIT WORKS and invest in a quarterly credit reporting program. It shows so much more than a credit score or credit cards. Know how to read all of the sections. You’d be amazed how once you understand it, it will be like reading a timeline of your adult life. Which is what insurance agents, employers, mortgage companies, potential spouses (yes, people can pay to view your general credit report and I know men and women who do this to screen potential dates!!!) do when they review it and decide if your worthy for a job, insurance, financial backing or a date. Being a successful college educated woman will also make you a great target for ID Theft especially if you’re not checking it for false information on yourself. I repeat know your entire credit report.
2) Believe in a higher entity (Judea-Christianity, Buddhism, Humanism, Agnosticism, Hinduism, WHATEVERism). Pray, meditate, journal, yoga, whatever practice you need to “tune in” to this higher source. Self confidence is fine and dandy but you will truly stand when you have confidence in something way greater than you, your role models, your family and friends as you go through the mundane of daily life. For the daily and mundane practices connected with something higher will keep you rooted when things get really bad (and they will) AND (when things go really well (and they will).
3)Take care of your body. Not just for swimsuit season or size (fill in the blank) jeans. . . . for your LIFE. Your body is the tool you use to move through this world and complete your task on this earth. Get sleep, drink water, exercise, eat food on the outer perimeter of the grocery stores and avoid processed food, tobacco and alcohol in excess. You can and will avoid a large majority of health problems later in life by doing this. Those girls who “experienced life” high on caffeine, nicotine, the next sex partner or heartbreaker well don’t look so cute anymore in their 30’s and 40’s and up.
4) Know what you want and what you don’t want at any moment BUT remember you don’t need anyone’s permission to change your mind about what you want and what you don’t want either.
5)Have passion about something. There is a saying that the devil has a especially hot place in hell not for the murderers or the thieves but for the apathetic. Don’t just suck up air, take action.
6)Keep your friends close and your enemies closer……well your essence is your best friend and your ego is your worst enemy. Keep it in check at all times.
7) This too shall pass…..this too shall pass…..remember this phrase……..this too shall pass…this too shall pass…
8)Do what you’re supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do it, how your supposed to do it.
9) live in the moment, love in the moment, do in the moment
10) I forgive you.
whew……..girl Happy 34! I love you now and until the day
I die!
I’m 40 and single, living in a rented apartment in Los Angeles and enjoying my third career. I work at a company that has been hard-hit by the financial crisis (ironically I work at a financial services company) and is about to be sold so my job is at risk right now.
I like my life very much and firmly believe that I made the choices that I made because they were the right choices to make at the time. I love the quote from Maya Agelou – You did then what you knew how to do and when you knew better… you did better!
With that caveat; here’s what I wish I knew then:
1) Lovers are not expendable and the right one may not come along. If you have a person that you love, do what you can to hold on to him. If you want to find a person to love, do what it takes. You may meet someone on-line, you may meet someone through friends, you may or may not be looking. There is no shame in putting value on a love relationship and doing whatever you can to bring that to fruition. If you want love, seek it, value it, don’t be afraid to consider another’s feelings and goals when planning your life.
2) College really is the best time of your life, you really will have those friends forever. Live in the dorms for a year or two, even if you’ve heard the cool kids don’t. Go to parties when you’re invited, throw parties when you can. DO NOT drink and drive.
3) When you’re starting out in your career, network network network. Yes you want to impress the boss, but the other assistant/receptionist/mailroom clerks/jr. execs – they are your peers. They will grow in business as you do, they will take other jobs in other places and meet other people and your network will grow. Keep in touch, meet for drinks, do favors when you can. In your twenties interviews will get you the job, later it will be who you know that gets you in the door.
4) Get your money. I don’t steal and I don’t play the lottery, so if someone wants to give me free money – I take it. Sign up for the maximum matched amount for your company 401(k), participate in optional stock participation plans, fund your IRA or Roth IRA to the max EVERY year.
5) set up a budget and stick to it. Include savings, include networking activities, include the quarters for the laundry. Don’t let oil changes and brake jobs catch you by surprise. In your twenties you may need to spend $20 building relationships at a bar and eat ramen noodles at home. It’s okay – you’re in your twenties. If it bothers you, learn to cook. In fact, learn to cook anyway, you’ll eat better and you can host dinner parties in your tiny apartment instead of meeting friends out.
6) Love your body and take care of it. Don’t worry if your hips are wider than a covergirls or your legs are flabby or your arms are too round. 20 years from now you will look at photos and see how lovely you were. Realize that now. You can spend a lot of time hating your body and not one second of it will ever bring about positive change. Love your body and take care of it… eat your fruits and veggies, exercise every day, get lots of sleep – even if it never results in one pound of weight loss. It’s good for you and will positively impact your life.
7) Don’t make life-changing decisions in the aftermath of tragedy. Mom dies, don’t quit the job that will lead to the career that you’ve been building just because you ‘need a change’ – paint the apartment instead. Seriously. Life-changing events send you reeling and big decisions are best made when you can keep your emotions in check. Emotions are important, but they shouldn’t drive all your decisions.
Build positive routines now while you’re young – do the dishes every night before you go to bed, do a load of laundry twice a week, pay bills every Wednesday, throw out junk mail every day, clean the bathroom every Monday, wash the car once a month, make the bed every morning, hang up your clothes at the end of the day… seriously. Routines can keep your life moving smoothly and ensure that you are prepared to act spontaneously. You can invite a neighbor in for a beer at the end of the day, you can move in a month, you can have your old college roommate crash on the futon when s/he moves to town and is looking for a place.
Hope this helps. I’ve learned these lessons the hard way, hopefully some of you youngsters can benefit from it now.