Tonight I had dinner with “Jane” – a friend whom I met as a result of the blogosphere. I began reading her blog about almost 2 years ago and sent her an email saying how much I enjoyed her writing. And somehow we became internet pen pals, trading long emails almost every month (which is a much more committed schedule than chats with some of my friends who live in my area).
Then a while back, we learned each other’s real names, then we exchanged pictures, and now, finally, we have met for the first time, amid the lush ambiance of a SoHo bistro! Some producer should make a movie about our story. It’d just be like a romantic comedy, except it’d be a lot more realistic. 
Jane, who looks Parisan chic (and could be played by Kate Hudson, Brittany Murphy, or Jennifer Aniston in the movie treatment of our story) generously treated me to dinner: bacon-wrapped dates, a delicious crispy duck salad, and a banana and gelato dessert. The whole evening was wonderful - Jane was even cooler in person than I imagined possible. And the night made me think about the intersection of friendship and technology.
Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote in her Little House series that letters, sent in the Fall, may reach their destinations in the Spring (if at all). When families set off for the migration from one state to another, they embrace as if they will never see each other again, because that very well may be the case. The friends you make on the road (like Mr. Edwards) you may never see (or hear from) ever again. People are lost from each other, so easily.
Now we have Facebook, Twitter, email, texting, telephone, cheap transatlantic airfare, cars and trains. We have almost unlimited ways (short of teleportation and unlimited financial resources) to see our friends. But many times, we don’t.
Of course, sometimes friends grow apart. Sometimes connections drift away. I think that’s fine if it is a conscious decision (i.e. the friendship is unhealthy or if it has just reached its natural end). But many times friendships just fade because of a lack of time or attention. I’ve been guilty of that as well - sometimes it just seems easier not to reach out, not to make an effort. I find that a little sad.
Isn’t it a paradox? The same technology and modernization that push people further and further into their own respective little worlds is also what makes it possible for friendships to start and continue when you are thousands of miles apart.
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I agree it’s a paradox, as is the fact that the very being (a human) who can hurt you and wound you most is also the one who can show you the heights of love and depths of intimacy. Fascinating, actually.
VERY interesting. I
(Don’t you just love those Laura Ingalls Wilder books? Every kid should read them…)
(sorry about that errant “I”, feel free to delete it for me)
i’ve made a few really good friends online. it’s where i’m out there all the time since i’m not in school all the time and i work at a small company. and despite the fact that i’ve made friends that way i still feel that it makes me socially awkward. what a dilemma.
lovely blog, i enjoy your writing immensely. i have to say yours is my favorite amongst the 20-something female financial bloggers out there.
on a related note, i owe you an e-mail
How cool that you met a friend online and in real life! Sometimes it’s weird to think that actual people are posting up about their life, and then you meet them in person.
That’s amazing that you made a friend online. I’ve always been iffy about taking the next step with online friends. But your experience is giving me the itch to make the jump. We’ll see…
I think the key is to let it happen organically. That way you'll be comfortable with people you meet. And of course, leave a trail of where you're going, who you're meeting with, their contact info, etc.
I tell my BF or my mom where, when, and who I'm meeting. Every. Time. (even with nonblogger friends). Because these days you just have to stay safe.
Great Story! I have met so many people all over the world and just around the corner from the vast communication opportunities. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and frustrated by them and then I remember about all the ties I have made.
Thanks for sharing!
Dave
LifeExcursion
How cool that you finally got to meet. =)
Isn’t it amazing what can come of blogging?
Friendship is always such a slippery slope, especially when you are separated by any distance. I always try and remember to keep in touch with friends, even if they don’t always reach out to me when there is a lull in communications.
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