I’ve been dancing the tango consistently for about 2 months. I enjoy it. A couple of weeks ago, however, I felt a little “off” – my turns weren’t quite as compact, my follow not quite as responsive. I felt tired, discouraged.
So this week, instead of going to tango 4 times a week, I’ve cut back to only once. I gave myself (and my feet!) a break, went to my favorite class, and got back into the groove. Those “off” days were uncomfortable, but I didn’t let them deter me from working towards my longer term goal: to become really, really good at Argentine tango.
In personal finance, I’ve had “off” days, weeks, and months. But the important thing, I have learned am still learning, is not to let momentary obstacles become permanent roadblocks.
On the other hand, keeping up a certain level of intensity continually is unrealistic. So maybe you’re focused on saving for retirement, and try to put $500 in your 401K every month. Well one month you had a really bad time – you got a traffic ticket, or you went on a shopping spree, or you ate out at a swanky restaurant every week.
That doesn’t mean you should give up on your goal of saving in the 401K, but it also doesn’t mean you should eat cheese and crackers for the next three months to make it up. One, you probably can’t do it. Two, you will feel guilty that you can’t do it, or feel discouraged and throw in the towel on the whole goal.
This is what I’m learning during this stint with unemployment. Many times I do feel frustrated that I am not moving forward on my financial goals, or that I’m not progressing in my career as I had envisioned. I had really wanted to be able to max out my 401K this year (and you know, every year after that until I retire).
But sometimes, in order to continue working towards a goal in the long run, we have to be able to forgive ourselves for, and move on from, our transgressions in the short run.
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I completely agree with you. I actually started taking Argentine Tango lessons a few years ago and basically became obsessed. I had even gotten to the point that I was able to assist my instructor with teaching classes. I became worn out at some point though and needed a break. The break was exactly what I needed because it renewed my love and passion for the dance!
This is so true and something I easily forget about when something interferes with my goals. Thanks for the reminder.
As usual, you’re right on the money. It’s important to know when to push yourself – and when to cut yourself some slack.
You’re absolutely right. My only concern is when people just start accepting those “off” days as life and don’t bother to push forward anymore. Then they just give up because they’ll fail anyway. So it is important to understand that you will fail, but not to give up just because you do.
This is perfect, thanks for it.
I totally needed the reminder!! (So it’s okay to skip a day of classes every once in a while, right? I know, that’s probably stretching it too far, sigh. 
)
well said!
Very good point that you have to forgive yourself and move on from setbacks AND that it’s ok to have “off” days. But that’s a lot easier said with regard to dancing than to financial matters.
The truth is that one “off” day spending spree (or especially an off month or year) can set you back for years to come, no matter how earnestly you “forgive yourself” and try to move on.
It depends on the degree of course. But lets say you can only afford to pay off $100 of credit card debt a month. If you allow yourself an “off” day once a week where you blow $50 then you are losing ground no matter how good you feel about it. It’s like a woman who diets and works out ferociously Mon-Fri but allows weekends to be free days. Sounds good in theory, but if she’s binge eating her way through buffets every Sat and Sun she’s just killing herself all week for nothing!
I think the key is that the setbacks can’t outweigh the progress you’re otherwise making.
I know just about ALL the ins and outs of this subject. Tim and I both have medical problems that tend to create on again/off again problems. It can also keep us from being as frugal as we’d like if both of us are too unwell to cope with shopping/cooking. We’re doing better lately (mostly because now he can drive to the store for me) but it’s still a battle.
I truly hate being in debt, so it’s hard for me to keep having setbacks without getting discouraged. It’s gotten easier over time, though, to remind myself that it’s an ongoing process. Some weeks we’ll be uber-frugal, other weeks things just implode and there is a day or two that we end up far from home and voracious, so we order some fast food.
So long as you remember that life is one big learning curve, I think you’ll survive.
Nicely said. When it comes down to it, life is for living, and there’s no point when personal finance is making you miserable (who wrote a post about that? You? FB?)