What, fun isn’t the first word you think of when you hear the phrase “money and relationships?” 
So as I’ve alluded to on Twitter, I’m giving away something that’s educational AND romantic (and rated G).
If money is a source of contention in your relationship, or if you’re simply searching for a more structured framework with which to conduct important financial discussions with your significant other, then you should pick up a copy of the new book Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money With Your Honey by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.
Get Financially Naked is a follow-up to their 2007 On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance. GFN is a short book, but it’s packed full of tips and worksheets to help you and your honey go through your financial beliefs, practices, and habits. The book also includes short pieces by Manisha and Sharon (and their husbands!) about their attitudes toward money and their relationships. Those were really interesting to read.
I’m not at a point yet where I’ll be merging finances with anyone, but CB and I do talk about money. Bottom-line: I would definitely recommend this book for any couple who is married, engaged, planning to get married, cohabiting, or planning on moving in together.
Thanks to Manisha and Sharon, I have 5 copies of this book to give away on this blog. I will also be hosting a Question & Answer session with the authors next week.
To enter the giveaway, please do one (or all!) of the following:
- 1 entry: Leave a comment here with a question for Manisha & Sharon to be featured on the Q&A.
- 1 entry: Follow me & tweet about it @wellheeledblog with this message: Want to talk money w/ your honey? @WellHeeledBlog is giving away 5 copies of Get Financially Naked here http://bit.ly/5kRu44.
- 1 entry: Subscribe to my RSS Feed (please leave me comment to let me know)
- 1 entry: Become a Fan on Facebook (please leave me comment to let me know)
- 1 entry: Write about this giveaway in your blog (please leave comment w/ URL to blog post).
Everyone person can have submit up to 5 entries. Deadline to enter is Thursday, December 10.
I’ll do a random drawing to come up with the winners, and announce the 4 winners and Manisha & Sharon’s answers to your questions next week.
image source: getfinanciallynaked.com
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Here's my question for Manisha and Sharon: How do you approach having serious financial discussions with a partner who is more concerned about "the now" than the future? My live-in boyfriend D is loathe to have financial discussions with me, though I have said many times that we should have a serious discussion about money and our goals. When we have spoken (briefly) about opening savings accounts or retirement accounts, he says that planning for the future like that could be a waste of time. "What if you save up $50,000 and you die at 30?" is his common response. I know other couples where one person has the responsibility of doing the saving while the other pays more living expenses to even things out, but I'd much rather know that we were both saving for retirement and putting money away for emergencies. How can I convince D that saving now will pay off later?
I tweeted about it! I also switched my subscription to your feedburner feed. I hope that counts for an entry! I was already subscribed through my reader but not with your feedburner feed.
Sounds great!! =D
For Manisha & Sharon: How do you decide as a couple what an appropriate emergency fund is and who should contribute what % if the incomes aren't equal? =)
When do you think is the proper time to start a financial conversation with your significant other?
I'm subscribed thru RSS feed.
I tweeted it!
AND I already subscribe to your RSS feed.
How do you bring up bad credit history to a long-term boyfriend without scaring him off?
My boyfriend complains that he spends too much buying dinner when we go out, but I buy and prepare all the groceries we eat in the home. Is there a better to argue that I'm chipping in a fair share than handing him my credit card statement every time he starts complaining? What would you do?
Question: What do you think of Joint Accounts? Should all of the money be shared or is it better/smarter to still separate between each person for certain purchases?
Oh, and I retweeted it on Twitter and already subscribe to your RSS feed.
What a great giveaway! It sounds like a book that everyone should read.
My question for the authors: what is the biggest mistake that couples make when attempting to combine finances?
Sounds like a great book. And I am an RSS subscriber already. Please sign me up times 2!
My question is at what point in the relationship is the best time to merge finances? (Obviously not right away, but I mean, after becoming engaged, before marrying, or not until after marriage sometime.)
Also, I already subscribe through Google Reader =)
Here's my question:
I am really good at knowing what I spend, and handling my finances accordingly. I am a big believer in JOINT accounts when you get married, but is there an easy, non-tedious way for the couple to keep track of their spending together? I would default to being the "primary" PF person in the marriage, because of my interest (and his lack thereof), which would work… but we also need a system where we're both involved and communicating.
Thanks! ON THE BRINK of getting engaged (eee!!) and this would be very helpful for us both to read.
Question For Manisha and Sharon:
Is it appropriate to advise a significant other on their financial goals? If so, how can you do that without coming off as patronizing or not supportive?
That book sounds absolutely fantastic. I'm long married, and I think we have a handle on those things now, but boy I'm going to remember this for when my girls are just a bit older and thinking about merging households, finances and lives. Money matters are so important and the way you approach debt, spending, savings can sink you if you're not in sync (so to speak). I'd like to recommend another great book on money, this one, "The Debt-Free Millionaire" on managing debt. He makes the point that all those debt elimination services still leave you (usually) with some kind of debt — and he outlines a simple plan to get you completely out of debt and on the path towards retiring wealth, no matter what your current financial situation is. We're not deeply in debt, but we have the usual house, car and home equity loan. But we also have 2 kids in college and a 3rd to go, and the economy stinks. So I'm trying to do what I can to get further ahead. When I DO retire, I don't want to have to be consumed with worry about money. It's a good read.
What a great give-away!
My question to the authors is this: Currently my bf and I live together but keep our budgets separate from one another. We both have debt that we made repayment plans for and are looking at being debt free in 2 years. For the common stuff, like groceries, telephone/cable/internet, laundry, and rent, would you suggest getting a joint account to look after these items or would you continue on the separate money situation until marriage.
My thoughts were that a joint would help us practice now before purchasing a house and having the monies pooled.
I've been wanting to check out this book! Looks great!
My question would be: How did you get into the field of writing about personal finance? Was it your original career goal or did you just happen upon it?
WH – I'm already subscribed to your RSS & I'm a fan of yours on facebook!
I am going to be getting married next summer. I have started to think about joint accounts and I am at a loss of what to do. Right now, we have separate accounts and even though we live together, we pay for things separately (split bills down the middle etc). Do you guys have any words of wisdom on how to handle finances as a married couple? Should we open a joint account to pay bills (mortgage, utilities etc) and still keep separate checking/savings accounts to pay for small items that we want to buy or should we combine everything? I know everyone's money situation is different but any words of wisdom to get me started would be greatly appreciated. I don't want us to start our marriage worrying about money.
Thanks,
Morgan
My question:
When you first get married and start to combine incomes, is it wise to assign one person total charge over the finances? As far as should I pay all of the bills from a joint account? Or should I pay some bills and he pay some bills? Just wondering what works for others.
Thank you for your time
Here's my question: What is the best pay to protect your finances before and after marriage if your significant other will bring debt or a bad credit history to the table?
How often do Manisha and Sharon suggest you re-jig things in your financial life with your partner? I find that we've had tons of conversations over the years, gotten things pretty much figured out, but then we fall back into habits and arguments every now and again. Is there a timeline for a financial relationship "re-assessment"?
I blogged about the contest here – http://paying-myself.blogspot.com/2009/12/giveawa...
Here's my question: What would Manisha and Sharon say to a couple who does NOT plan to merge finances in a formal way?
My boyfriend and I moved in together in October, and while we are not planning on merging finances at this point, I'm not sure if we ever will. Given that our cohabitation is relatively new, we may find that we reach a point where it makes sense to have some type of joint "fun money" account, but right now we just split things we do together evenly. To complicate things further, he was laid off a mere two weeks after moving in. I am a decent saver, have only a small student loan, and have an excellent credit rating, while he is pretty much average on all counts – and at this point, I don't want to merge.
This book sounds awesome!
My question: how can you create an environment where you can track your spending as a couple, but without making the other person feel like they have no privacy. This is especially important now that Chad isn't working. I don't want to track everything he does, but I still want to track our money together.
I have a question:
How do you strike the balance when you're cohabitating and/or married between accepting help and fixing your own financial mistakes (e.g. my boyfriend and I moved in together in the spring, and he has offered to help pay off my credit card debt)? How can helping each other out with past debts affect a relationship and how do you prevent it from becoming a problem? Any other words of advice in such a situation?
Oh yes, I did tweet this.
And subscribe to your blog. =)
I am a fan on facebook and subscribe to your RSS Feed.
My questions:
Should a spouse let spending issues and incompatible financial goals be a marriage / relationship breaker? (Example: Spouse 1 likes to spend BIG (10% + yearly salary) on toys and other non-return investments while spouse 2 prefers to pay off debt and achieve financial security.)
How do you suggest going about seperating finances after a divorce or break up?
Hey there – I'm subscribed vis RSS feed already – keep up the great work
My question: my significant other and I have been together for almost two decades, and have always contributed 50/50 to expenses, savings and asset purchases. But I'm planning to return to full-time study next year to train for a new career, so will be spending some time out of the workforce (and living off my savings). I'd like to ask him to contribute more to our living expenses while I have no income, but after so many years of self-sufficiency am uncomfortable about even raising the subject. How do you start such a conversation?
Thanks.
Here is my question: How do you deal with a partner who is just too cheap when it is not a necessity in your life? My husband and I have lived with very little money but have finally gotten to be comfortable but he won't let go of his ultra cheapness and it is major turn off! It is a difficult subject to broach so i woudl also like to knwo how to broach it.
Thank you!
My question for Manisha and Sharon: My BF is older than I am and has virtually no retirement savings right now. He did start a 401K last year, and he's going to open up a Roth IRA soon. How much should he be contributing to 'catch up' to those of us who started in our 20s and early 30s?
We're about to move in together, and I would LOVE to win this book!
My question: When one partner is handling the majority of the finances, what is the best way to keep the other person up to speed on what's going on with the money?
I already subscribe through Google Reader.
Question for Manisha and Sharon: My bf and I have been living together for 3+ years. He is planning on going to law school part-time next year which will last for four years. I have been saving up to buy an apartment and plan to do so before he graduates. He would live with me and pay a portion of the rent but cannot be on the mortgage or deed as assets will count against him for student loans. What's the safest way to do this to ensure we're both protected even if we broke up?
I just found this blog and am enjoying it tremendously. I got married in August and have a question about melding finances. My husband has a pretty low credit score (based on some bad habits with credit cards in college) and mine is pretty high but has slumped a bit recently due to 5 months of unemployment and unusual credit card usage. Is it better to work on improving one credit score before the other? For example, besides making minimum payments on all credit cards and student loans, should we pay down my debt first to get my score back up, or focus on his to bring him up while I continue to carry a credit card balance? Also, would it help him (or hurt me) to add his name to my credit cards since traditionally (before the last few months) I had better terms on my cards, a better history and little to no balance? Thanks for your help!
I just subscribed. Can't wait to read more of this blog and (hopefully) read the book!