Question for Manisha and Sharon: My bf and I have been living together for 3+ years. He is planning on going to law school part-time next year which will last for four years. I have been saving up to buy an apartment and plan to do so before he graduates. He would live with me and pay a portion of the rent but cannot be on the mortgage or deed as assets will count against him for student loans. What's the safest way to do this to ensure we're both protected even if we broke up?

We're about to move in together, and I would LOVE to win this book!

My question: my significant other and I have been together for almost two decades, and have always contributed 50/50 to expenses, savings and asset purchases. But I'm planning to return to full-time study next year to train for a new career, so will be spending some time out of the workforce (and living off my savings). I'd like to ask him to contribute more to our living expenses while I have no income, but after so many years of self-sufficiency am uncomfortable about even raising the subject. How do you start such a conversation?

Thanks.

My questions:

Should a spouse let spending issues and incompatible financial goals be a marriage / relationship breaker? (Example: Spouse 1 likes to spend BIG (10% + yearly salary) on toys and other non-return investments while spouse 2 prefers to pay off debt and achieve financial security.)

How do you suggest going about seperating finances after a divorce or break up?

How do you strike the balance when you're cohabitating and/or married between accepting help and fixing your own financial mistakes (e.g. my boyfriend and I moved in together in the spring, and he has offered to help pay off my credit card debt)? How can helping each other out with past debts affect a relationship and how do you prevent it from becoming a problem? Any other words of advice in such a situation?

My question: how can you create an environment where you can track your spending as a couple, but without making the other person feel like they have no privacy. This is especially important now that Chad isn't working. I don't want to track everything he does, but I still want to track our money together.

My boyfriend and I moved in together in October, and while we are not planning on merging finances at this point, I'm not sure if we ever will. Given that our cohabitation is relatively new, we may find that we reach a point where it makes sense to have some type of joint "fun money" account, but right now we just split things we do together evenly. To complicate things further, he was laid off a mere two weeks after moving in. I am a decent saver, have only a small student loan, and have an excellent credit rating, while he is pretty much average on all counts – and at this point, I don't want to merge.