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Why We Are So Bad at Buying Happiness

Why We Are So Bad at Buying Happiness

"Those who say that money can't buy happiness aren't doing it right."  Have you heard that joke before?  Well, it turns out that there is more than a kernel of truth in there. People are generally bad at buying happiness because: 1. We buy to keep up with the Joneses / ...

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Hair, Hair, Everywhere – the Recession Edition

Hair, Hair, Everywhere – the Recession Edition

I wrote a hair post in both 2007 and 2008, so I suppose it's only appropriate to continue the tradition in 2009! This post is dedicated to recession's impact on hair budgets. The recession is a major reason why I've been neglecting my hair a bit during these past several months: ...

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Experience, Not Stuff

Experience, Not Stuff

Experience, not stuff: I've decided to make this my mantra to live by. It'll be hard, because I like nice things (ex: shoes), but guess which of the following I remember the most? (a) A $100 leather jacket purchased in Buenos Aires, that I've worn ONCE in 3 years. (b) A $45 hour-long horse ride on ...

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What Sex And The City Taught Me About Love, Life, and Money

What Sex And The City Taught Me About Love, Life, and Money

Sex And The City: The Movie is coming out in May! I am so, so excited, and I'm betting that many Sex And The City feel the same way. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda - you ladies have been missed! (By the way, I love the photo below - head-to-toe ...

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5 Year Travel Plan: Making Your Travel Dreams a Reality

5 Year Travel Plan: Making Your Travel Dreams a Reality

I've been struck by a bad case of the travel bug lately... I haven't been out of the country since 2007, which seems like a long time. CB and I are saving for Galapgos, but we also want to travel quite extensively in the intervening months before our Big Galapagos ...

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Graduate School: (When) Should I Go?

Graduate School: (When) Should I Go?

Graduate school is a significant undertaking both in terms of time and money. During the last few months, I've felt some pressure from concerned family members about going to graduate school. I know they only want the best for me, but I'm glad I followed my gut instinct and ...

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Should Parents Pay For College Education

Should Parents Pay For College Education

A college education has, for a large percentage of society, become the de rigueur entry-level degree. "Should parents pay for college education" is a question where the answer is always, "it depends." In today's economic climate, I imagine that many parents are having the difficult talk with their kids ...

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Free GMAT Study Resources

Free GMAT Study Resources

Taking and prepping for standardized tests isn't cheap, fortunately, there are many free study resources available online. I've taken advantage of most of these resources when I was preparing for my test last year. Hopefully you will find them helpful as well. Free Online Study Materials The GMAT Uncovered by ManhattanGMAT: A ...

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7 Steps In Overcoming Rejections In Job Search

7 Steps In Overcoming Rejections In Job Search

Rejections during job search are disappointing, to be sure. Nobody likes to be told that they were qualified candidates, but the management has decided to go in another direction. In this environment, however, rejections are common-place through out the job search and interview process. After the initial disappointment wears off ...

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How to Host a Dinner Party On a Budget

How to Host a Dinner Party On a Budget

Hosting a dinner party is always fun, but right now I need my get-togethers to be budget-friendly as well. Remember when I made crab cakes? That was for a group of 5 or 6 friends. The crab cakes were delicious and everyone loved them, but, crabs are expensive! Two pounds ...

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Pure Altruism - Does it Exist?

Pure Altruism - Does it Exist?

Every time the holidays come around, feel-good human-interest stories surface. This is a time to give to others, help those in need, and realize that the world is not as cutthroat or as competitive as we may believe. But is it true? Can people be purely altruistic? The authors of Superfreakonomics (the ...

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The Price of Addiction To Argentine Tango

The Price of Addiction To Argentine Tango

It's happened. I fell for the sultry dance, hard. (I even made its own category!) I leave class with a big smile on my face. I read Argentine tango forums and blogs. I fall asleep thinking of boleos and molinetes. I'm not sure how my wallet feels about the possible financial ...

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Old Cars: Unsung Heroes of Personal Finance

Old Cars: Unsung Heroes of Personal Finance

New Cars are shiny, gleaming, loaded with the latest technology and features. New cars get the big commercials on TV, where they swerve confidently in snow storms, zoom down idyllic country lanes, and maybe even dance a little to the sound of a state-of-the-art in-car sound system near a trendy ...

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Disney World Recap

Disney World Recap

I realized that I haven't really talked about my Disney World adventure (aside from the Dining Plan review) on this blog yet... and well, that oversight must be rectified! If you have any specific questions about Disney World, please ask away and I'll do my best to answer. We Got To ...

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Job Fairs: How to Prepare So You Stand Out

Job Fairs: How to Prepare So You Stand Out

Job fairs can be a great opportunity for applicants to interact with many different companies. But if you don't prepare adequately, job fairs can be a disaster. Last week, I attended a job fair - prior to the event I debated whether I should go. I had heard the horror ...

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How To Practice Safe and Responsible Credit Card Use

How To Practice Safe and Responsible Credit Card Use

Wait, you mean you never had a credit card education class in school? Okay, me neither. The quality of education these days! But there's no reason that high schools or colleges shouldn't offer a class like this. After all, credit card education isn't an awkward topic like the other type of ...

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Am I Frugal? Why Frugality Is Not My Goal

by WellHeeled on December 18, 2009

I’ve never been comfortable with the word “frugal”, I admit. I always think I spend too much to be truly frugal (and I admit, I don’t really like the sound of the word – strange? perhaps). For some reason, I’d much prefer phrases such as “intentional living”, “financially responsible”, or “prudent spending”.

So although Punch Debt In the Face proudly declares that he is a member of Club Frugal, I’m not sure I deserve or want a membership card. There are so many blogs out there praising the the virtues of frugality, and now with the recession, it has almost become trendy to be frugal.

But what does frugal really mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,

Pronunciation: \ˈfrü-gəl\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin frugalis virtuous, frugal, from frug-, frux fruit, value; akin to Latin frui to enjoy
Date: 1590

: characterized by or reflecting economy in the use of resources

Now, doesn’t that sound like to be frugal is to enjoy yourself virtuously? :) I like that.

I suppose I have been turned off by the extent of extreme frugality – I really can’t imagine dumpster-diving for food or living a life so devoid of material comforts. But just as I think it’s unfair to judge a religion, a movement, or an organization by its most extreme elements, it’s also wrong to judge a lifestyle by its most extreme manifestations.

Am I frugal? I don’t know. But just as I don’t see wealth accumulation as a goal in and as of itself, frugality is not the be-all and end-all. After all, money is only a tool. I don’t have frugality as a goal, but I can use it as a tool to get to reach my other goals.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Red December 19, 2009 at 12:18 am

I think frugality gets a bad rap. I remember telling my grandfather that I consider myself "frugal." His response? "You mean cheap!" But to me, frugality just means spending the money I earn wisely, looking for discounts when I can and avoiding the excess that seems to dominate American consumerism.

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Abigail December 19, 2009 at 2:53 am

I think that a lot of us grew up with "frugal" being a dirty word because of the consumerist society we're in. That said, I definitely like my material comforts. I don't think I'll ever be as frugal as my mom. She grew up with it in a more urgent sense — the family was frugal because that is what it took to survive. So she's more often willing to go the extra mile than I am. I am fine with buying canned beans, rather than soaking dried ones. I rarely wash out ziploc baggies to reuse them.

And I like my technology more than she does. She doesn't have a TV. Originally, it was to help her avoid distraction while she was back at school for her BA. I am curious to see what will happen now that she's out of school. Let's just say, I'm not holding my breath that she'll get a TV anytime soon.

I like clothes that look nice (as opposed to "nice clothes" which I can't afford) and care more about my appearance. I use makeup (sometimes) and she doesn't. I have necklaces, earrings, etc. Not so for her.

Despite all that, though, I consider myself frugal. Just not as frugal as she is. Still, I'm a lot more careful with my money than a lot of folks I meet. Far more intentional, to borrow your word.

It's all just a matter of degrees, I think. Though I like the idea of calling it something with no negative connotations. Intentional living sounds very sophisticated.

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Jin6655321 December 19, 2009 at 6:50 am

I prefer the term "fiscally responsible". Like you, and others, I don't consider myself frugal. I spend way too much eating out, buying clothes, etc. However, I contribute 10% of my income to retirement, I have a 6 month (and growing) emergency fund, I don't have any debt other than my student loan and my car (which I'm on track to pay off a year early), and I don't make extravagant purchases.

I don't consider "frugal" to be a bad or an embarrassing thing. I wish I was more frugal! However, I think it's important to enjoy life. Sure the best things in life are free but I can't live on sunshine, smiles, and hugs. As long as I plan for the future and live below my means, I'm good.

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Moneyreasons December 19, 2009 at 7:03 pm

It's all a balancing act. As long as you are saving more than you are spending , you're doing great.

I'm frugal, but I still enjoy life (water skiing, waver runner riding, motorcycles, Disney, Hilton Head vacations, etc…). Deprivation shouldn't be equated with frugality.

Frugality isn't a definitive point, it's more of a range… From the Freegans (whom I respect but wouldn't want to partake in their activies), to someone investing more in their 401(k)s to save on taxes…

I'm personally more frugal so my kids can enjoy life a little more. They dress better and do more exciting things than I did as a kid (and that's the way I want it!). Plus, I have to save up for their college expenses (this is a task that takes year and years of saving).

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WellHeeled December 20, 2009 at 4:21 am

Deprivation shouldn't be equated with frugality. Frugality isn't a definitive point, it's more of a range…

That's a great way of looking at it! I suppose that was what bothered me about the word – I felt that it was too definite – i.e. there was no middle ground in frugality. What if I am frugal about cars and electronics, but not frugal in eating out? I think that's why I prefer the terms "financially responsible" or "intentional living" – I think those terms better reflect the totality of a person's financial actions rather than "frugality" alone.

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paranoidasteroid December 19, 2009 at 7:51 pm

That's because the crazies have appropriated the word and used it to mean making pillows out of dryer lint and giving them out as presents.

I am frugal about some things, but not about others. I think some things I live with to save money would appall others, and I think the "frugalists" would be appalled at how much I spend on clothes!

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WellHeeled December 20, 2009 at 4:22 am

making pillows out of dryer lint and giving them out as presents.

I think this is the funniest comment I've read in a while!

Reply

Financial Samurai December 20, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Honestly, I just strive to make a lot more money than I spend, that's all.

I like the 5:1 ration. If I make $100,000 more this year, I'll spend $20,000 and save the other $80,000 (before taxes to make this illustration simpler).

To nit pick about $5 bucks here and there is a pretty crappy way to go through life. Focus on making more and sticking with a ratio.

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WellHeeled December 20, 2009 at 8:04 pm

That seems like an excellent ratio if you can achieve the level of earnings that makes it possible. If you make $40K a year, your ratio would probably look more like spend $35K and save $15K. If you make $150K a year though, you can spend more – $50K and save way more $100K (tax effect not illustrated here).

I think longer-term income maximization is still the route to go, but maybe in the short-term expense minimization can work.

Reply

The Asian Pear December 20, 2009 at 8:45 pm

I think the word "frugal" and "cheap" gets a bad rap. By the definition, it's not bad. It's just utilizing your resources to the fullest extent. To me, that's a virtue – especially in a world where consummerism is seen as good and reducing/reusing seems bad. I think that people tend to just think of the bad connotations when reflecting on what frugality means – using coupons, haggling, buying bulk. As if these are hassles and a status of poorness. But frugality just means not stretching yourself to the brink of over excessiveness – not buying items SIMPLY out of desire and want but out of neccessity.

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SS4BC December 21, 2009 at 6:12 am

Hmmm….

I don't think I would describe myself as frugal. Or cheap.

Perhaps miserly right now. ;)

I would call myself "determined" – determined to spend as little unnecessary money as possible to get out of debt. And if that develops into something more when the debt is gone, then so be it. I highly doubt any outside observer would call me frugal though. Just… boring. ;)

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