2010 January | Well Heeled Blog

How to Find The Right Tango Teacher

Written by WellHeeled on January 31, 2010 · 6 Comments

So.. you want to learn tango?

I’ve been dancing 2-5 hours a week since last September, and I’ve found a handful of great teachers and practicas that I like. Finding a great teacher is so important for one’s development and enjoyment of tango. If you are a beginner who is just starting to get into the dance, and you want to know how to find the right tango teacher, here are my suggestions of what to keep in mind:

1. Argentine tango is a different animal than ballroom tango. They are two separate dances – different music, different techniques, different steps (I am partial to Argentine tango, although I love watching both types of dance). If you want to learn Argentine tango, don’t go to a ballroom dance teacher! My personal preference is for teachers that teach Argentine tango exclusively.

2. Google – many big cities have websites with long lists of tango instructor and classes. (See New York, Los Angeles, Austin, San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, D.C.). This might be your first stop. Make a short list of classes that work with your schedule and check out at least 3-4 teachers when you first start.

3. Ask around. Once you begin going to classes and practicas, you can ask the other students there who they study with and which teachers they like – some teachers are wonderful at teach big, complicated, flashy dance moves, but other teachers are master technicians. If you are starting out, I’d recommend the technicians. The big flashy moves will come later if you have good fundamentals. I found my favorite teacher by asking a student about his experience.

4. Try it out. I’d suggest going to each teacher at least twice to get a feel of their teaching style, and just as importantly, the type of students they have in their class. It’s important to feel comfortable with the instructor and your fellow students, especially when you’ll be dancing in such close proximity.

5. Costs: It doesn’t have to cost much for you to get started in tango. Classes will cost $10-$20 each, and usually runs from 1 hour to 1.5 hours. Most classes are pay-as-you-go, some instructors offer discounts for buying classes in bulk. Tango shoes cost $150+, but you can hold off on getting the shoes until you are certain you want to stick to the dance. In the meantime, heels with stable straps for the ladies and leather shoes with slick soles for the men should suffice. Otherwise, all you need for your first class are breath mints / gum and a smile!

image source: flickriver.com

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

Written by WellHeeled on January 29, 2010 · 21 Comments

So the holiday of love (or over-commercialization, depending on who you ask) is coming up.

I am trying to think of some good gifts for CB, as this Valentine’s Day will also mark our seventh year together. We almost never celebrate our anniversaries, though last year CB bought me an absolutely delicious bottle of ice wine. And, on our first Valentine’s Day together, CB left a rose on my desk in one of my class and boy, did I get teased that day! High school kids are merciless.

Unfortunately, for this Valentine’s Day I seem to be fresh out of ideas on what to get him. The likeliest gift would be AAA membership. CB has an old car prone to problems, and I’ve suggested to him that AAA might be a good idea. I’ve had my member for a few years and it makes me feel better to know that if something happens to my car, help is only a phone call away. At $47 for basic coverage or $64 for premium, it’s not a cheap gift by any means, nor will it win any Romantic Gift of the Year award. But I think it’s a gift that will be most practical.

We’ll both be trying to keep this day on a budget – we might splurge for a nice dinner at a tapas place we love, but I’d rather we go out to eat after Valentine’s Day weekend.

A few other budget / useful ideas I had were: a Nerf rocket-launcher (do they make those? CB engages in Nerf warfare with his friends. Sometimes I join in), movies (fun for everyone!), flask (very Mad Men, I think), a trip to the shooting range (this is something we’ve talked about since college but have never done), or wine-tasting (mmm wine).

What are you getting your partner for Valentine’s? Maybe we can get a brain-storm going in the comments.

image source: ehow.com

Run ‘Round the Blogosphere 1/28/2010

Written by WellHeeled on January 28, 2010 · 4 Comments

Personal Finance

Bundle.com – this is one fun site to poke around in. Lots of visually appealing data on spending by demographics, location, income level, etc. You can drill down to individual zip codes and check what people around you are spending on clothes, food, car, insurance, etc.

Frugal Dreamer is spending less than $4,000 on her wedding ceremony and honeymoon. How does she do it? By having a small, intimate wedding and sticking with less expensive services. If you need inspiration for managing your wedding costs, take a look at Frugal Dreamer’s budget.

The Legal Dollar is a new blog (started at the end of 2009) that I have recently discovered. It’s a very insightful blog by a lawyer on finances, legal academia, and a legal career. If you are thinking of law school or are a law student, this is well worth a read.

Brad at Enemy of Debt has decided to become a stay-at-home dad and pursue his passion of financial coaching. Congratulations!!

SS4BC says dating is expensive! I agree… just the eating out expenses add up so quickly. I do find that I get a bigger “happiness return” eating out with CB than just by myself, so I try to be frugal during the week so we can go out more often on the weekends.

Interesting News / Articles

[New York Times] Would you sell your house and buy a smaller place, then donate 1/2 of your proceeds to charities? One family did.

[LA Times] Cheap cruises? They are available depending on where you look.

[Slate] Haiti’s earthquake was devastating to its people and infrastructure, but what does it mean for the environment?

Weird / Cool Things That I Would Not Spend Money On

Written by WellHeeled on January 27, 2010 · 19 Comments

Because sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

A “jackpack” – jacket-backpack combination: multi-tasking is great but I believe in jackets OR backpacks. Pick one and stick with it.

An iPod table: a wee bit too trendy, I think. I like the shelf, though.

A love handles chair: the outline of the body reminds me of a sweat stain. ><

A wedding cake wedding dress: looks good enough to eat. Which it is.

Phone fingers: WHY?

I AM, however, partial to these mustache mugs. Would make a cute set. (You can buy them directly from the designer).

Hope you guys all enjoyed this.

image source: likecool.com

Business Insurance Experts Premierline Direct

Annual Mileage Estimate Can Lower Car Insurance Premiums

Written by WellHeeled on January 26, 2010 · 12 Comments

This post has been Consumeristed!

There are many financial issues to consider after you’ve been laid off. Filing for unemployment benefits. Signing up for COBRA or researching health insurance options. Rolling over your 401k. Reviewing the household budget.

I didn’t realize, at the time, that reviewing your auto insurance policy is also a great idea. I’ve been paying around $75 a month for coverage. When renewal time came, I called my insurance carrier to see if there’s any way I can get my premiums lowered without a decrease in coverage levels. Because of my layoff, I did not have daily commute. Even with treks to interviews and job fairs, my new mileage estimate is still far lower than my original figure.

With lower mileage estimates, I decreased my premiums to ~$60 a month and I will be getting a $135 “overpayment” refund from my carrier. I’m only sorry I didn’t do this sooner!

So, the lesson is this: if anything changes in your life that would affect your annual mileage estimate, tell your insurance agent! Some of these changes might be (of course, these changes might also increase your mileage):

Change in job situation (ex: layoff, new job at a closer location)
Change in relationship (ex: if you are in a long-distance relationship but you have now moved in with each other)
Change in living location (ex: you used to live in a rural area but have moved in a city where more nearby amenities)

A reduced annual mileage estimate can very well lower car insurance premiums.

Is Pet Insurance A Good Idea? (or, Would You Go In Credit Card Debt To Treat Your Sick Pet?)

Written by WellHeeled on January 25, 2010 · 25 Comments

People buy medical insurance to protect themselves from the costs of catastrophic illnesses. Now that pets are such an important part of many families, should you also buy insurance for your furry friends?

One option is to self-insure, i.e. put away money periodically for your pet’s future medical costs. As treatment options (and their corresponding prices) increase for pet illnesses, however, steady savings might not be enough to pay for the most up-to-date medication or surgeries for your dog or cat. Personal finance expert Liz Pulliam Weston says the question to “does pet insurance make sense” depends on what type of pet owner you are [MSN Money]:

I still believe most people are better off forgoing pet insurance and instead putting the money they would have spent on premiums into a savings account. Pet coverage can cost $2,000 to $6,000 over the life of an average pet, and the chances are slim you’ll ever need to shell out that much for treatment.

But if you’re the type of person who would do anything to save your pet, including spend thousands of dollars on medical care, pet insurance might be a preferable alternative to going into debt.

Pet insurance is still a minority among pet owners. Personally, I don’t know of any families that carry pet insurance policies. I don’t have any pets right now (I have my eye on a Welsh Corgi in a few years), but if I were in a situation where my dog is very sick, I will have to balance the medical costs with the likelihood of success, the quality of life after the treatment, my dog’s age, and my financial ability to afford the treatment.

A pet – especially a dog – is a huge emotional and financial responsibility. That’s why if I get a dog I will definitely put away savings for routine and unexpected medical costs. Not carrying insurance does not mean that I won’t make adequate financial preparations for my pet. On the other hand, I can’t say that I would pay everything to treat my dog.

A Gai Shan Life raised this very question in her post: where do you draw the line on pets and money? The post details the situation of a lady whose puppy has Parvos, a serious disease that may require thousands of dollars in treatment for an uncertain outcome. This lady is suffering financial difficulty and does not have that kind of money unless she turns to credit cards.

Here’s my answer to the question: If my dog is near the end of its lifespan and is suffering a life-threatening illness, the treatment costs are high but the chance of survival are low, and the prognosis for quality of life after recovery is poor, then I would probably not proceed with the treatment. My focus, at that point, would be to ensure my pet spends the rest of its time, however limited, in comfort. My first financial responsibility would still be to my family.

What kind of owner are you – would you spend thousands, even tens of thousands, on a sickly pet? If so, do you have pet insurance? Would you go into credit card debt to pay for a pet’s medical expenses?

(If you do decide to purchase pet insurance, here are some sites with helpful information and discussions: Dog Time, Yelp Question & Answer, Country Living, and Consumer Tips Reports.)

image source: innocentenglish.com

Why Saving for Retirement is My Biggest Financial Priority

Written by WellHeeled on January 21, 2010 · 20 Comments

Perhaps the title is a little misleading – saving for retirement is by no means my only financial priority, nor am I dismissive of the fact that I might never reach retirement (only the guy upstairs knows for sure, right?). But given the choice between saving for retirement in 4o1Ks and IRAs, and saving money in taxable investment accounts or cash accounts, I will almost always choose to save more for retirement.

Even though money is fungible (i.e. you can use money you’ve saved for X and spend it on Y – there’s no difference. The value of that money is still the same), the psychological impact of retirement savings and everything else is very different.

Because retirement is so far away for me, a twenty something – it’s easy and sometimes tempting to put it off. A 25-year-old may tell himself, “I can start saving when I’m 30, right now I am paying student loans.” A 35-year-old might say, “I’ll start after I’m 40, right now I have to save for a down payment.”

Every time you save for retirement, you’re making a choice to give up something now (a nicer car, a fancier apartment, a vacation to Paris) for an uncertain payoff decades down the road. That’s exactly why I stretch myself to put more in retirement. Because if I save for retirement first, the hard part would be done.

As an example, let’s say in a year I can comfortably save $10,000. I want to start saving for $40,000 down payment in 4 years. I could put the $10,000 towards the down payment, then try to scrape together some savings for the Roth IRA. Or I can put $5,000 in retirement, $5,000 in the down payment, then try really hard to save another $5,000 for the down payment.

If I really want a house, it would be much easier to forgo meals out and cute clothes if I see that the payoff is an extra $5,000 in a down payment. I might be able to push myself and save $15,000 instead. That payoff is more immediate than a retirement 40 years away. On the other hand, if I save for the down payment first, I might not be motivated enough to put another $5,000 in retirement funds. Saving for retirement is my biggest financial priority, because it’s always difficult to make immediate sacrifices for a far-off reward. But it must be done.

image source: i.village.com

Run ‘Round The Blogosphere 1/21/2010

Written by WellHeeled on January 21, 2010 · 7 Comments

Personal Finance

Formspring.me is a new feature that lets people ask questions anonymously. Single Ma and Jen @ Paying Myself have an account. So do Krystal At Work and MoneyMateKate. I don’t, but if you have questions you are always welcome to ask. If you are a personal finance blogger and you have a Formspring account, let me know and I’ll include it here.

Me, Debt Free? TeacHer Finance can pay off all her debt in 3.5 years if she put her money towards the debt and stops saving in the meantime. She is excited about the prospect of becoming debt free, but worried about stopping savings. What would you tell her?

Save Money on Your Heating Bills Single Guy Money has some good tips on how to lower your heating bills. Fortunately, all utilities are included in my rent.

Guide to Viva Las Vegas Want to save money in Vegas? Serendipity at Saver Not Spender lives in the Sin City and has plenty of tips on how to conserve your cash on lodging, food, and entertainment options. So you can use all the money you save at the roulette table and win back the cost of your trip have a fun trip that won’t break the bank.

Financial Foulups Brian at My Next Buck has a great series on the financial mistakes he or other bloggers have made. I just found his blog, so I’m really excited in reading more. Head on over and check it out!

How Much Is That Wine in the Restaurant post has been syndicated on BlogHer. Woo!

Interesting Articles / Links

DNA evidence can be fabricated [New York Times]: Shocking, but true. Scientists have able to create fake DNA blood evidence that has fooled crime labs, “undermining the credibility of what has been considered the gold standard of proof in criminal cases.”

Ledasha, legends, and race [Baby Name Wizard]: Have you heard the story about a baby named “L – a”, pronounced Ledasha? It’s an urban legend, and Laura Wattenberg of the Baby Name Wizard has a thought-provoking 3 part writeup on names, legends, and race. It’s a must-read.

Tango burns 200 calories an hour [LiveStrong] Need another reason to start hitting the dance floor? According to LiveStrong’s Daily Plate, ” Tango steps include deep lunges, side steps, small jumps and fast-paced walking that will keep your entire lower body engaged in a calorie-burning routine.” When I first thought about tango, I thought it was all dramatic poses and slow, gilding steps. No sweat, right? HA! Speaking from experience, tango is absolutely a cardio exercise.

Winner of The Constant Princess Giveaway

Vee! Congratulations. Please email me your name and mailing address so I can ship you the book.

Don’t Let Small Setbacks Get In Way of Big Goals

Written by WellHeeled on January 19, 2010 · 17 Comments

How many times have you made a goal – to exercise every day, perhaps, or to stop eating out for 3 months, and then mid-way through you slip up? It can be discouraging when that happens, and many times our first instinct is to think, well, I already had a donut / bought a new shirt / spent a day lazying on the couch instead of working out, so why not just do it again?

The point of all that is that, well, I missed Day 8 (yesterday) of the 30 Day Shred. I know! I am disappointed in myself too. Though I first tried to justify that surely 2 hours of tango (i.e. traveling across the dance floor at the speed of music) will suffice for one day’s exercise allotment, I started hearing Jillian’s voice in my head “that’s a false message of lethargy that does you no favors!”

So I’ve decided to do Day 8 & Day 9 of the Shred on, well, the actual Day 9. I finished Day 8 just now, and will be hitting the mat at around 8pm for Day 9. That means I can still say I stayed on the wagon, right? I’ve also decided I’m going to work ahead and finish Friday’s workout on Thursday, so I don’t have to lug a heavy laptop to NYC. Here is my Shredule (get it?) for the week:

Monday (Day 8): Fell off the Shred wagon. No excuses.
Tuesday (Day 9): Make up Day 8 & finish Day 9 workout.
Wednesday (Day 10): Day 10 workout.
Thursday (Day 11): Day 11 & Day 12 workout
Friday (Day 12): No need to worry while I’m in NYC!
Saturday (Day 13): Back on schedule with Day 13.

A reader said that doing the 30-Day Shred is as mental as it is physical. I agree. After missing the workout yesterday, I realized how easy it is to get off track. But I’ve committed to the 30 Day Shred, and I’m going to do 30 workouts in 30 days even if Jillian kills me. Setbacks shouldn’t mean that we should let go of our big goals, if anything, the victory will be all the sweeter having had – and overcome – these setbacks.

At least that’s what I’ll be telling myself over the next 22 Shred workouts!

How To Shred On The Road

Written by WellHeeled on January 18, 2010 · 12 Comments

This week, I’ll be in NYC for an extremely short trip – flying a redeye on Thursday night, getting in on Friday morning, and leaving Saturday morning to be back at home by noon. A company that I’ve done some freelancing for is having a cocktail reception to mark a business milestone, and they’ve invited me out there. I am really excited.

In a display of fitness dedication that I have never experienced before, I’ve decided that just because I am on the opposite coast for one day does not mean that I have to miss the Shred (Friday would be Day 12 for me). So, I’ve decided I’m packing up my old and heavy laptop (because the new Lenovo laptop I got in August 2009 is being shipped for repairs for the third time) and my DVD and I’m going to do the Shred in the hotel room.

Now, if I do not bring my weights, and I do all the exercises without the hand weights, do you think I can legitimately say that I’ve finished Day 12 of the Shred? I hope the answer is yes… because I am committed to doing all 30 days in a row, but I don’t relish the prospect of packing 4 extra pounds in my carry-on. Hmm. I suppose I can bring 2 empty water bottles with me, then fill them up in the hotel room and use them as 1 pound weights? What do you think?

In addition to The Shred, I can never head into another city without partaking in the tango scene (my biggest regret about the Austin trip was not going to a milonga. It was a really busy trip, yes, but I could’ve squeezed in a couple hours of tango if I tried really hard and planned better). Last time I was in NYC I danced in Central Park. This time, I’ll also be dancing. So, tango shoes, into the bag!

Jewelry and Gift Giving

Written by WellHeeled on January 18, 2010 · 17 Comments

This Christmas, I received a pair of gorgeous ruby earrings (and separate gifts for my birthday). They sparkle like a vampire of the Twilight variety.

These are “created” rubies, i.e. stones with the same chemical properties as naturally-occurring rubies, except these stones were made in the laboratory instead of dug from the ground. This means that rubies of exceptional color and size which previously were only available to royalty and the ilk can now grace my earlobes. I think it’s a brilliant (pun intended) idea.

Jewelry is a funny thing. I’ve heard of ladies who would dislike to have their engagement ring purchased at Costco, or ladies who would prefer “natural” gemstones to lab-created ones. (I think the Costco aversion is funny because Costco carries really high quality stock – CB and I looked at their jewelry selection one night for fun and everything is expensive – though likely less expensive than they would be at other retailers).

We imbue jewelry with whatever meaning we want, a meaning that is usually culturally-sanctioned and historically-promoted. Some say that jewelry might be a cliche gift (Sarah Haskins does a hilarious parody of jewelry commercials), but, well, I guess I’m mainstream because I love my earrings!

It’s also extra special because I’m fairly tightfisted when it comes to buying jewelry for myself. The most I’ve ever spent is $20 on a necklace. Whenever faced with more costly pieces, my thoughts always turn to whatever else I can be using the money on instead. But to receive nice jewelry as a gift is wonderful. I don’t feel guilty over spending money on something that’s – let’s face it – purely an adornment, and instead I get to bask in the glow that CB picked out a thoughtful (and beautiful!) present for me.

I believe in valuing experience over stuff, and at the end of the day a ring or necklace or bracelet is just made of sparkly rocks with little intrinsic value of its own beyond what people are willing to pay for them. Still, I hold that the act of wearing jewelry from someone who loves me is an experience after all.

Do you like giving – or getting – jewelry as gifts?

image source: overstock

The Power of Accountability

Written by WellHeeled on January 16, 2010 · 16 Comments

Before I started the Shred, if you would’ve told me I’d exercise on the weekends, I would’ve laughed.

But guess what I was doing at 9 PM on a Saturday? Day 6 of the Shred!

I am now officially done with 20% of the 30 Day Shred. Time for some dinner as celebration.

Visa Prepaid Debit Card

Written by WellHeeled on January 15, 2010 · Leave a Comment

This is a sponsored post.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. But during the rest of the year many companies continue to introduce products linked to breast cancer awareness, often by donating a portion of the proceeds from certain products to research organizations or institutes dedicated to breast cancer awareness, detection, and treatment.

One such financial product is the Pink Visa Prepaid Debit Card. The Prepaid Card can be used anywhere Mastercard or Visa is accepted. The advantage of using prepaid debit cards means that there is no risk of spending money that you don’t have. However, you will have to pay fees.

For the Pink Visa card, there are several funding options. Customers can select between different fee structures. Everyone pays a $9.95 one-time fee for getting the card. Pay-as-you-go customers pay $1 for signature purchases and $2 for PIN purchases. Fee-advantage customers pay a monthly fee of $9.95 and can make unlimited monthly signature or PIN purchases. If you get this card and intend to use it frequently, the Fee-advantage option will be a better deal.

Last year, ACE Cash Express donated $350,000 through its partnership with the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Every time you use the ACE Pink Visa Prepaid Debit Card, ACE will donate a portion of the transaction to the cause.

If you are in the market for a debit card already – and are informed about and ready to pay the various fees associated with debit cards – and you’d like to help breast cancer awareness through your debit card spendings, this card may be a good card to consider.

Question for Shredders

Written by WellHeeled on January 15, 2010 · 21 Comments

When did you start seeing results from the 30 Day Shred?

(Jillian can bully me all she wants if I can get abs like hers.)

Today will be Day 5. It’s funny – every day I’m reluctant to start the pain The Shred, but once I begin the workout becomes more bearable. It’s still hard and it hurts, but starting means that I’m only 20 minutes away from finishing the workout for the day. Though I know I need to allow Jillian to do her magic for the next 25 days, I’m getting a bit impatient for results.

The workouts are still difficult. Still on Level 1. Doing pushups with knees. Can’t finish the arm presses. Most definitely still get winded during the jump rope sequence (I actually find jumping jacks and butt kicks much easier than jump rope).

I suppose I feel a little bit stronger when it comes to some of the cardio, but that might also be wistful thinking. While grocery shopping with mom yesterday, I deliberately parked the car at the very other end of the parking lot so we’d have to walk further. But I also did the Shred for the day – no false messages of lethargy for me, Jillian!

After Day 4 (yesterday) I am a little less sore than I was the previous days. I even managed to go to a 1.5 hour tango session after doing the Shred an hour earlier. So I consider that progress. But soon I hope progress would also be marked by the measuring tape.

Must remind self that just as I did not get to my current state of physical (un)fitness in 5 days, it’s unrealistic to expect me to turn into a Jillian carbon-copy in 5 days (or 5 years – ha!).

image source: ybyl.com

Run ‘Round The Blogosphere 1/14/2010

Written by WellHeeled on January 14, 2010 · 6 Comments

Personal Finance

My article on super simple net worth calculation has been syndicated on BlogHer!

Everybody knows rebalancing is important, but before you rebalance you have to know what you have, first. Here’s how to check your net worth allocation if you only have 10 minutes (also at BlogHer).

Sunflowers at Chronicles of Debt is thinking about how she can earn side income. Anyone have advice?

Wonder what effect the CARD Act of 2009 (i.e., the big piece of credit card reform legislation signed in May 2009) has on credit card users? Here’s what Free From Broke says.

Carnival of Personal Finance is up at Darwin’s Finance. My post on Buying a Home Together Before Marriage is included.

Giveaways

Kim is giving away Le Creuset baking dish set at her lovely foodie blog (that never fails to make me hungry)! What home cook wouldn’t love that in his or her kitchen? To enter, you just have to leave a comment in the post.

Financial Samurai is giving away 2 copies of Get Financially Naked by Manisha Thakor & Sharon Kedar. If you need to “talk money with your honey”, it’s a great book to get started on a conversation about money & relationships. Please check out the awesome Question & Answers series I hosted with Manisha Thakor (still one part to come!).

Interesting News & Resources

Tango is fun, but it might also benefit Parkinson’s Disease patients. A 2008 study found that tango improved the participants’ balance. C’mon, one more reason to get started!

Triumph of the Size 12 Women (NY Times): Did you know that just as models are photoshopped to look thinner, plus-size models are sometimes airbrushed to look larger? It’s strange that there is no middle-ground in magazines.

doc2pdf.net is a great way to convert Word to PDF. You just upload your Word document to the site, press the button, and voila, a PDF in your hands. Best of all, you don’t have to download anything, and there are no limits on how often you can upload and convert in a certain period of time. I prefer to use PDF for resumes & cover letters, so I was very happy when I found this site.

News on Haiti

It’s devastating what has happened… I don’t know what to say. I’ve listed some news coverage of the earthquake and its aftermath.

Washington Post: 150 UN staff members still trapped under rubble in Haiti. Most of the missing are expected dead.
LA Times: Getting reporters to Haiti is the hardest part of getting the story.
New York Times: U.S. promises aid for Haiti. Obama declares “unwavering support.”

Also, please head on over to Investing Newbie’s and keep her family in your thoughts & prayers. She has several family members who live in the hard-hit capital of Haiti.

Day 3 of 30 Day Shred: 10% Done!

Written by WellHeeled on January 13, 2010 · 33 Comments

When I described the Shred workout to CB – 3 sets of a 6-minute circuit composed of 3 minutes of strength training (squats, lounges, pushups, arm presses, etc.), 2 minutes of cardio (jumping jacks, jump ropes), and 1 minute of abs (all the variety of crunches you can imagine) – he paused, then said, wow, that sounds really hard.

That, my friends, is a very accurate assessment of Jillian Michaels’ the 30 Day Shred (affiliate link).

It’s hard and it hurts. I am only using 2-pound weights, but those are plenty hard for me. The good thing about the Shred is how short it is – only 20 minutes a day. Throw in time rolling out the yoga mat and listening to Jillian’s inspirational-but-tough pep talk before the beginning of the video, and I’m still clocking in at under half an hour.

The surprising thing, though, is how much I like Jillian. I’ve always thought exercise video gurus as either too cheesy faux-upbeat or too in-your-face, but Jillian is a nice balance between the two. She tells you like it is – “abs like this don’t come for free”, but somehow you really believe that she is rooting for you – “I’m 100% committed to results”.

She’s no-nonsense and she dispels all sorts of romantic notions I’ve had that going on a leisurely walk after dinner or taking the stairs is “enough” exercise. After all, I’m moving around, right? This is the type of advice I see a lot in lifestyle magazines, i.e. just make these small little adjustments to your routine – take the stairs, park the car farther from the office, walk your dogs – and you are being good to your health. In fact, Jillian says advice such as these sends “a false message of lethargy.” Zing! I think that might have been my favorite line from this entire video.

All I know is that I am working harder in her 20-minute workouts than I have ever worked during hour-long gym excursions. And I’m only doing Level 1, the easiest level, and following Anita, the lady doing the “moderated versions” of harder exercises, i.e. not sinking as deep into the squats, push-ups with knees on the floor, etc. But it’s still the hardest workout I’ve ever had in my life. If I ever win the mega lotto, I am hiring Jillian as my personal trainer. For real.

As for results, well, 3 days is too soon to tell. I’ve decided not to measure myself until I’m done with Day 10, lest I get too discouraged by the lack of progress. But I do know that I have discovered muscles in my arms, shoulders, and calves that I previously had not known existed. They now make their existence known with pain.

Shredders, tell me how your Shred is going!

On Love, Marriage, and Settling

Written by WellHeeled on January 12, 2010 · 20 Comments

In 2008, Lori Gottlieb wrote a fairly incendiary article in The Atlantic called Marry Him! The Case For Settling. She has since parlayed that article into a book called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (which was also optioned for a movie by Warner Independent Pictures).

From her Atlantic article:

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.)

First of all – who is Lori Gottlieb to say that balancing the checkbook (and by extension, personal finance,) is not invigorating and fun?!

But all joking aside – I found myself conflicted as I read this article. On the one hand, I agree that your priorities tend to change as you get older, and that if your stance if “I refuse to settle for anything less than perfection,” then, well, you’re probably going to end up disappointed. On the other hand, Lori Gottlieb makes such sweeping generalizations based on her very particular set of circumstances that she comes off, quite, well, rankling.

Lori Gottlieb seems to want a father for her child more than a husband (she became a single mother by choice in her late 30s/early 40s) – even though those are two roles often shared by the same man – it’s an important distinction. I think if a lady wants to have children, and she wants the father to live in the household and share in child-rearing, then that woman’s timeline for marriage may be very different from someone who does not want children. If someone is happy being childfree, then her timeline will be less constrained by biology.

But regardless if a person wants children or not, instead of exchanging a vision of Mr. or Ms. Perfect for Mr. or Ms. Good Enough, why not look for someone who is Mr. / Ms. Great For You?

If I find someone I love and respect, and he loves and respects me in return, and we are both attracted to each other, and find joy and laughter in each other’s company, and we agree on the broad contours of life (monogamy, children, religious beliefs), then I’ve hit the jackpot. I’ve found someone with whom to build a life and a future, and to say that I’ve settled is to spit in the face of romantic good fortune.

So I don’t call it settling if you’ve dreamed of a girl with red hair but ended up with a brunette or you’ve always wanted a man who is 6 feet tall but your beloved is 5’8″. It’s not settling if you wanted a movie star but ended up with an accountant. There is an ocean between falling in love with a flawed person (because, aren’t we all?) and having a relationship with someone who neither engages nor excites you (and, worse, with whom you always think you can do better), and I don’t think Lori Gottlieb explored that territory very well.

But my biggest problem with Lori Gottlieb’s piece, practically speaking, is this: if you think you are settling – even if the person you marry is smarter, cuter, wealthier, nicer, funnier (and whatever-er you want to add in there) than you are – you will act in such a way that says “I’ve settled.” You will try less, thank less, give less, and ultimately, receive less in this relationship.

It’s unhealthy to put your partner up on a pedestal – to expect infallibility from very fallible beings. But those little moments of “how did I get so lucky?” is necessary in a happy relationship. Those moments push us to be a better partner and a better person. They help us get over the little hurts and perceived slights. I don’t want to commit my life to someone who looks at me day after day and think, “well, I guess she’ll do. But really, I deserve so much better than what she can give. ” Does anyone?

Getting married (i.e. entering in a complex legal and economic arrangement with another person with the expressed intention of being thus bound for life) when from the get-go you feel as if you’re settling strikes me as an uneasy proposition. I don’t think such a deal will work well for most people. I know it won’t work well for me.

image source: amazon.com

How Much Is That Wine In The Restaurant?

Written by WellHeeled on January 11, 2010 · 35 Comments

I almost never order alcohol in restaurants because I have to drive home afterward (and cabs are expensive). That is a good thing, because I recently learned that how high markups can be: a bottle is marked up 300% in restaurants over the wholesale price, or 200% over the retail price (see WSJ article on pricing formula).

Cheaper vintages tend to be marked up at a higher percentage (300% – 400% of wholesale) compared to more expensive ones (150%-200% of wholesale).

That means a $20 bottle you bought at a grocery store would cost you $50 at that bistro down the street. WOW! I was always under the impression that wine markups were high, but I had no idea how high.

Also, as can be imagined, more expensive restaurants may have higher markups.

In most cases, the fancier the restaurant, the higher the markup. A top-tier chef, a team of sommeliers, a large wine cellar and expensive stemware are all built into the wine price. Because pricier restaurants typically have fewer tables and less turnover, they need to make profits on fewer bottles sold.

Buying wine by the glass is even more costly. Restaurants tend to charge the wholesale bottle price for a glass – so that they make back their investment with the first glass (see this ChowHound thread about wine markups) and protect against loss if any bottles have wasted wine.

WSJ recommends that diners avoid ordering by the glass if possible – for reasons of taste as well as value.

If the wine in an opened bottle doesn’t sell in a few days, for example, best practice is to pour out the spoiled wine — but whether that happens or not is a matter of conjecture. For diners looking to maximize the value per ounce, ordering a pricier bottle may be a better choice than ordering by the glass.

A few nights ago I went out to a cheap burger & fries place where the entrees top out at $10 or $11. A friend ordered a couple glasses of red. The restaurant didn’t even say what type of red it is. She forgot to check the price, but assumed that it was $5 or $6. Turns out it was $9!! Two glasses added up to almost $20. Talk about high markups!

I’m trying to become more educated on wine… and I think I shall begin with my education at home, where I can drink excellent Pinot Noirs & Chardonnays purchased at Costco for $10 or $15. These bottles, according to formulas on markups, may cost $30 or $40 at a restaurant.

What type of wines do you order at restaurants? Do you ever buy wine by the glass?

image source: weblogs.cltv.com