Comments on: Buying A Home Together Before Marriage – Yay or Nay?

By: Run ‘Round The Blogosphere 1/14/2010 | Well-Heeled Blog

Run ‘Round The Blogosphere 1/14/2010 | Well-Heeled Blog — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 06:28:59 +0000

[...] More Buying A Home Together Before Marriage – Yay or Nay? Darling, I love you. Will you… buy a home with me? Two of life's greatest commitments, many would [...]

By: JMD

JMD — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:26:44 +0000

Sometimes there is no choice, my partner and I bought our first house together in 2000, before same-sex couples had the option of marriage in the UK.

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #239 – Hot Money Trends of 2010 Edition | HighYields.com

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:25:14 +0000

[...] Blog presents Buying A Home Together Before Marriage – Yay or Nay?, and says, “Would you buy a home together with your significant other before getting married? [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:06:15 +0000

I would not want to buy a house together with someone if I wasn't at least engaged. Luckily, I bought my house when I was single back in 2007, so I don't have to worry about it. My boyfriend and I have talked about him buying a house or condo that we could later on rent out.

I do like to joke and tell him that I bought the first house so the next one (and likely bigger one) is on him!

By: Onegirl

Onegirl — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:26:08 +0000

Also to add, moving in together and buying property together is a very serious thing. I didn't realize how much trouble I could have gotten into if he tried to sue me or talked to a lawyer. I was betting against him going through all that trouble because of his finances, and it worked in my favor. If I was dealing with someone who knew what was going on, I'm sure things would have been very different.
Sorry for the novel.

By: Onegirl

Onegirl — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:25:47 +0000

He was an idiot. HA!!HA!! Actually, that didn't bother him at all. We weren't at the stage where we were talking about marriage and a serious future. I was tired of renting, and his roommates were moving in with their girlfriends, so I think he just thought it was the thing to do. Since he didn't have a lot of money (aside from the down payment), he wasn't really involved in the details of whose name was on it, etc, etc… He just wanted a garage to work on cars and a yard for his dog. When he stopped paying his half of the bills, I knew I needed to make my move and get him out of there before I would be stuck living in a house with no lights. HA! Again, I was very proactive about saving and knew what I had to do. My parents were worried for me, but they let me make my own decision. I told them that I knew how much house I could afford, and they let me fly. I'm almost done paying off my house, btw. It's great.

By: TheAnalyst

TheAnalyst — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:26:44 +0000

Congrats to you on 7 years! Doing great!

Wow, I can see I wrote my response in a sleepy phase, with all the grammatical errors. Glad you got the point.

By: TheAnalyst

TheAnalyst — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:30:30 +0000

Smart idea! I just got my IRS check. *happy dance*

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:15:17 +0000

I say yay. My husband and I bought a house together in 2004 (NOT a buyer's market) before we were even engaged. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, marriage or not, and it worked out well for us.

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 20:06:56 +0000

Thanks for checking out my blog! I agree with you on the trust thing – although there's trust, then there's trust with a $300K+ mortgage.

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 20:05:43 +0000

Hi Karin, thanks for visitng all the way from Australia! I think it's super interesting to see how different countries treat domestic partnership couples vs. married people – in the U.S. it's extremely difficult (and would take a lot of legal documents & money) to duplicate the benefits awarded to married couples.

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:16:32 +0000

Definitely agree on the need for clear expectations – relationship-wise as well as finance-wise.

By: Savings

Savings — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:52:15 +0000

Boyfriend and I have been discussing this, and we're on board. We do plan on getting married, but why wait to buy a house (or more likely, a condo). Since the majority of the downpayment will come from his family's (gifted) money, it will be in his name, and we will split the mortgage. We will also draw up papers with a lawyer ensuring that he will always have the condo no matter what happens. I'm ok with this… because we plan on spending the rest of our lives together. And when we do buy a house, we will put it in my name, and we can still take advantage of the first time homebuyers tax credit (separate from the 8000 refund) because the condo will have been in his name.

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:25:23 +0000

"If I was ready to buy a house with someone, it would be obvious that I was ready to commit the rest of my life to them, and I'm the type that would like a traditional marriage to go along with the commitment."

Exactly how I feel!

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:24:07 +0000

9 years?! Congratulations! I'm almost at 7. I love hearing stories of couples who have been together a long time.

I can definitely see buying before marriage working for some people (it might even work for me, as I will be completley OCD about making sure all the paper works are in order & expectations are on the up & up). I guess at the end of the day, like StackingPennies, if I am ready to commit to someone, I'd like marriage to go along with that commitment.

By: WellHeeled

WellHeeled — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:21:06 +0000

So glad it worked out for you. I think the afford to live on your own clause is really key – we just never know how much our financial and living circumstances can be affected by relationships. Just curious – how did your ex feel about putting the house in your name but splitting the down payment & mortgage? Was that a source of contention?

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:40:35 +0000

Nay for me. Too many things can go wrong in so many ways.

By: Onegirl

Onegirl — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:30:32 +0000

In 2001, my boyfriend and I bought a house together. The house was in my name (I'm more responsible), but we split the down payment and we split the mortagge (most of the time). We had been together for 2 years at the time. Once I realized he didn't believe in working (ha ha), I started saving all my money so that I could return his 1/2 of the downpayment minus the money he owed me for bills. On Jan. 01, 2003, I gave him the boot. I gave him his check and sent him packing. Luckily for me, I made sure I could afford the house on my own. I think that was key. I will never buy a house or live with anyone until I'm married. It wasn't too costly a mistake for me, just a good lesson learned.