So no matter how we try to sway from these stereotypes, it's mostly true and hard to not associate with.

PS: Received my book from you the other day – Thanks again!!!!!!

As far as marriage, I've always been a little terrified by the picture painted by the media. Which is to say, I thought it was horrendously skewed/out of date. But my husband assures me that he had friends who were "trapped" into either a relationship or marriage by an pregnancy. As in, the girl was planning for it, the guy wasn't. He says he even knew some girls who were sabotaging their condoms. Eek.

One pair of his friends finally got married after being together since high school. They were late 20s. They'd had some break-ups in between, but they had two kids together. She was really mad that I got married before she did. Not mad at me, but frustrated in general. I kept pointing out that, compared to a piece of paper, a kid is far more commitment. But she needed that piece of paper.

Honestly, I would definitely want the official marriage, too. But, then again, I wouldn't stick around with someone for years who I knew was a commitment-phobe. (He was self-proclaimed.) And hope that he changes his mind. It makes no sense. It's like choosing a guy who has said he doesn't want kids, hoping he'll feel differently one day. It's a bad bet and you're risking two people's happiness on it.

I know a young lady who desperately wants to be married to the man she is with, they even have a child and have been together over 5 years. Still not married. Being honest and having open communication and showing love and respect : the way to go. A man is going to marry a women because he wants to! At least that (among other things) is what my husband of 10 months told me. Why popular media paints such an ugly picture is beyond me.

I did the no engagement ring route, in a way. We talked about that before and I told him I'd like to wear a nice classy band. So when he proposed thats what he presented me. And that was my engagement ring and now wedding ring. We also did a simple wedding because we felt we only needed close family and God to witness our union. Plus, a nice honeymoon (travel) and down payment for a house were things we valued more.

Also, I was still reading Glamour back when they published that "engagement chicken" article, and I laughed my ass of that a national magazine would actually publish something so ridiculous!

In the past (says pre 1950s), the goal of a woman was to land a successfully (SMB) – Super Motivated Boyfriend (as FS would put it). But these days the income earning abilities and opportunities open to women has drastically changed the paradigm! Now women want a career too. They are no long satisfied being the pretty little woman at home with the kids. Some still do (my wife got and accounting degree, but wanted to be a stay at home mom instead, much to my surprise…).

In past relationships men use to hold all the cards, but now women hold the majority of the cards whether they all know it or not.

We are all going thru a transformative period for male and female relationships, and in many ways it's a great time to be a women. Enjoy the change, it's not like it is here in other countries or cultures!

It has me thinking about some conversations that BF and I have gotten into recently since he is graduating (finally) and entering the work force.

I, for one ,am part of the school of Romance and believe that there is nothing better than the commitment. Not a ring, not a wedding, but the actual word cum action of commitment. When not only he says he will be there, but is there. And you do the same for your partner. Once you have reached that point in your relationship, of course the next step can be marriage but it doesn't have to be.

Although being together for 7, in your case, or 3.5 years in my case, presumes marriage is around the corner in our society, it shouldn't be that way. You can have been with someone for 10 years and still haven't found the perfect "fighting" method or be with them for 2 months and just click. It's about the quality of time spent until you 'get it right' and are ready to fight together for whatever may come.

That said, BF and I are still working towards that!

Another deadly SMB (besides the good looking SMB) is one who lulls their gf into believing that he will one day marry her, and fast forward 7, 8, 9, 10 years and he is still happily dating with no intention of marriage. Girls won't know where the time went because he is so crafty!

Anyway, I agree that we should examine traditional roles and customs to decide if they work for us as couples. We shouldn't do something because society says it should be this way or that way but because it benefits our individual relationships to do so.