Rejections during job search are disappointing, to be sure. Nobody likes to be told that they were qualified candidates, but the management has decided to go in another direction. In this environment, however, rejections are common-place through out the job search and interview process. After the initial disappointment wears off a bit, there’s really only one way to act, and that’s to handle this setback like the smart and competent professional that you are. Speaking as a job-hunter with, ah, some experience in this subject, I have found 7 steps that help in overcoming a rejection in a job search.
1. Don’t take it personally: It’s hard, but being rejected for a job is not the same as being rejected as a person. It’s not. Repeat it to yourself if necessary. There may be a thousand reasons why you weren’t hired for a particular position – and many of them you can’t control. Learn from the experience, but don’t dwell on it.
2. Do something active to help clear your head: I’ve found that physical activity helps me push through the initial doldrums after a rejection. If running helps you clear your mind, go make a few laps. If video games helps you work through your feelings, get ready for the God of War (some would claim video gaming is “active” – I neither agree nor disagree 
). When I’m feeling down, I tango, preferably to fast and furious music. Bring on the endorphins!
3. Be professional: Rejection is a part of business and it’s a part of life. Behave with dignity, graciousness, and professionalism, and you’ll never look back and have that moment of “d’oh! I can’t believe I did that.” Send the Human Resources contact or your interviewers an email thanking them for their time and ask them to keep you in mind if another opportunity opens up later.
4. Be thankful: If you had gotten that job you were interviewing for, it would’ve been really easy to have gratitude. But even in rejection, you have learned things, made contacts, and improved your interview skills.
5. Ask for feedback: There’s never any harm in asking politely “What can I do to make myself a stronger candidate in the future?” Some people will tell you, some won’t. Sometimes the feedback will be concrete (“we wanted you to have more experience in marketing”, or “your analysis of this case study was too disorganized”), and sometimes it will be more subjective (“we went with someone who was a better fit”). If you do get feedback, thank the interviewer. Feedback can be valuable information for you to incorporate into your future job interviews.
6. Reach out to people: Talk to friends who get you, and mentors who can advise you. I was feeling bummed out a few days ago, and my friend sent me this email that’s part hilarious, part heart-warming. It was great. And I felt better after I read it. I also connected with a smart and accomplished lady, whom I consider a mentor and a great role model in career AND in life – her encouragement and insights are priceless. People’s willingness to help and share their thoughts never fail to surprise me.
7. Keep moving forward: Immediately after I received a rejection, I applied to two more jobs, and I was pleasantly surprised when I got another interview a few hours after I emailed my resume. Do not let a rejection become a crushing blow, instead, treat it as an impetus to move forward and be prepared for the next opportunity on the job search.
This post was included in Carnival of Personal Finance and the first edition of the Yakezie Challenge Carnival.
You May Also Want To Read :
(Or why when unemployed, you need to keep moving - literally.) When I was laid off 3 months a ...
One of the hardest part about conducting a job search is the waiting. Waiting to hear if your re ...
The job So... I got a new job! This is going to be a great next step of my career: I'll be wo ...
{ 6 trackbacks }
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
#1 is the hardest for me.
Number 6 is my favorite. There is nothing like a good support system to keep you motivated and encouraged while going over a bump in the road. Also, there is nothing like networking with friends and family members who may just know the next possible job opportunity.
I have been job hunting for over a year and a half now, and finally seem to have the rejection bit down to a science. Although those jobs that I get really excited about are always the hardest to get over.
I don't know if I'll ever have rejection down to a science, but I think I am getting better at learning from it and moving on!
Lovely post, darling. It's nice to keep these things in mind when hope seems (only seems!) dim. Keep at it, lady.
So well put. And it's so important to take the news graciously and leave a good impression. You just never know when you're going to run into someone again, and you don't know if you lost out on the opportunity because they hired the boss's cousin's niece. It happens.
Agreed, good post. #2, in my case working out, is quite effective for me in general. Sometimes it's the only thing that helps clear my mind.
Amazing advice! This is great. I'll definitely pass this on to a few of my friends that are on the job prowl!
@FabulouslyBroke
Me too.
My favorite is #7, "Keep moving forward". This will help you so much in all areas of your life, not just a job search.
#1 was always the hardest for me. Really, the worst is when you log into the online system and find out that you were rejected in the first round before a human being ever got to look at your resume.
I'd like to add an 8th one (or #1.5). When I went through a long job search, my trouble was not taking one rejection personally, it was the multitude of them: "They turned me down?? Seriously?? I've applied for like 150 jobs in 2 years! That many people can't be wrong!"
So demoralizing.
Great advice! I especially like the one about asking for feedback… you can always get better!
I've had many rejections in my two major job searches. Remember that your dream job is out there somewhere. It just takes a few dozen (or hundred) rejections to find it sometimes. The economy is tough. Hang in there.
If a company doesn't choose you for a job, it is their loss.
Another tip: Assuming A) it's a company you really want to work for and B) the interview went well and you had some positive feedback ask if it is OK to stay in touch with the prospective employer. Contact them after 2 weeks just to make sure their pick is working out "You never know, maybe they decided the job wasn't right. I'm just checking in and wanted to let you know that I'm still interested in working for a great company like yours." Then again in 6-8 weeks etc…
I think the most important are asking for feedback and networking. Networking is huge because you never know when you are going to meet someone or make a great impression on someone that knows of or can offer you a job. Also feedback is big because if you want to get past rejection you need to continue to learn and grow. I see a lot of people that are trying the same old things in this job market. Times have changed. Yes, it's difficult to keep up but that's the only way to succeed.
Agreed! Thanks for coming by and commenting!
Hi WH – Are you looking into b-school still, or still something related to China? Good luck whatever you do!
I like the image… I would've been the pissed off girl in my younger days, lol.
Number 2. works best for me… usually going to the gym and lifting some heavy metal objects does the trick… makes me feel like my own God of War!
It's really hard to not get emotional about it and take rejection personally, but treating it systematically tends to yield the best results for me, much like sales.
Only related to the image – have you been to despair.com to check out the 'demotivators'?
Love despair.com
this must be serendipity right? I am a frequent lurker. Skipped over from Budgets are sexy , and saw this post. I am job hunting right now, and #1 is so hard for me.
Hi Disha, thanks for delurking.
I am job hunting too, so I know exactly what you mean – it's hard not to take disappointment in stride, but we must push on. Good luck!