It’s official. CB and I just put down the security deposit for our apartment. We will be signing the lease in a week and then getting the keys to move in. I am looking forward to this phase of our lives together (and I can’t say that the prospect of lower rent isn’t appealing!).
Everything moved pretty quickly – I honestly haven’t expected to find a place we both liked so soon. Our apartment was literally the 4th place that we looked at. In two weeks, we will become the new tenants of a nice 1-bedroom apartment with ample natural light. Best of all, we get two parking spaces in the underground parking garage so neither one of us has to worry about finding a spot on the street. This place has our must-have (2 designated parking spaces), most of our like-to-haves (upper unit, refrigerator), and even a few unexpected perks (a whole wall of closet space, dishwasher in the kitchen, wrought-iron chandelier in the dining area).
As for the finances of this move…
- We will be splitting the rent 60/40. Everything else housing-related (gas, electricity, and internet) will be split 50/50.
- I’m not sure how we will treat groceries, but we probably can just buy our own food. I tend to get more expensive groceries – for example, I think of nothing buying free-range eggs, whereas CB will eat regular eggs just as happily. On the other hand, CB eats more in terms of quantity, so it probably evens out in the end.
- We may also be putting our cars with the same insurance carrier to save money. I need to research on what, if any, liabilities this step might expose us to.
Other than that, we have no plans to combine our money. I’m not sure if we need to have a written cohabitation agreement, but I do plan on discussing all relevant financial issues.
What’s the most useful money-related tip you’ve received for living together? What financial topic is a MUST-discuss for you?
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Do you have any plans to look into domestic partnership (for health insurance, etc)? http://chattywomen.com/pennythoughts/
Nope. In California, only same-sex couples and heterosexual couples over the age of 62 can enter into legal domestic partnerships. So that's not an option for us even if we wanted to pursue it. We both have employer-sponsored health insurance, so I am grateful that that is one thing we don't have to worry too much about.
Nice – congrats!! Lloyd and I didn't combine anything when we moved in together. We tried to grocery shop together at first, but figured out very quickly that it was just too much trouble. We still eat a lot of meals together, so we both do our part in buying food for meals and household necessities. It is by no means exactly even, but neither of us are too worried about it, so it works out in the end.
Since we're both PF nerds, we haven't had any issues with finances. However, anytime you move in with someone, there is an adjustment phase. Early on, we got into arguments about him not cleaning out the fridge, me leaving my clothes in the dryer, etc. etc. I also realized that I'm the agressive one with the landlord on calling about apartment problems, etc. So, definitely be prepared for the adjustment. However, it's normal and you get through it and now we're happy as can be.
Excited for you guys!
How's the new job, btw?
Congrats! Living with your lovey is such fun. (Most of the time).
I highly recommend combining your car insurance to one policy (depending on the laws in your state), because it truly does save you a nice chunk of change.
The state I live in still recognizes Common Law marriage, and I was informed upon the combination of our policies that that contractual agreement essentially made us "married" in the eyes of the law, which was kind of weird, but it all worked out, as we actually ARE married now.
We will probably combine our car insurance, but I need to clarify what type of legal liability that might expose us to before we do. The state I am in does not recognize common law marriage, which works for me. I'd like to get married in the future, but I don't want to find myself accidentally married one day!
Fun! How exciting!
We combined pretty much all spending when we moved in together, aside from obviously personal stuff (haircuts, clothes, gas for my car, and activities done separately). For groceries and such, he added me as an authorized user on a card, and we split the bill 50/50. We "even out" unequal salaries through paying different rent – then we only think about it once a month.
I think that since T is NOT into pf (but is naturally pretty frugal) we had no issues. Meaning, he would tell me that if I wanted to buy the more expensive groceries, no problem. I don't think there will be money issues for you two, you seem to have thought about it all!
Like Carrie, there was some adjustment to cleaning, etc… but nothing major.
My husband and I combined our money very quickly after moving in together, and it's worked out for us so far
Wisebread.com posted an article today about splitting food costs – I thought it was an interesting approach: http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-split-food-expens...
Thanks for the link!
Congrats!
While we didn't completely combine finances right after moving in together, we did before we got married (we were living together for a few years before getting engaged). But one thing that always comes up is chores, like who will do what, getting used to one another's habits (cleanliness, computer, tv, who goes to sleep or gets up sooner or later). In my experience we had some arguments about those things, but then everything sort of figured itself out (like Brad vacuums, but I clean the kitchen and bathroom, we split the cleaning of the litter box, we generally grocery shop together, etc.). BUT we are also a bit odd in that we communicate by arguing, if that makes any sense, and resolve most issues pretty quickly.
congrats!! You're so lucky to find a place so quickly =)
I think it's nice not to have to combine your finances. I think doing a joint account is a good idea (where you can deposit your money for the mortgage if you end up buying a place together). My boyfriend and I are planning to do it 50.50 (which i don't mind lol because I make more than him right now) if we buy a place.
hopefully your boyfriend doesn't leave the toilet seat up =) (kidding)
We didn't combine finances, but we do grocery shop together… it is more "couple-y." Our biggest concern was how not to fall into a roommate situation (my milk vs. his milk, etc). We discuss shared financial goals (home purchase, car upgrades), but we are both ultimately responsible for 50% of the household rent/expenses. I'm curious as to why you are splitting the rent 60/40… is one of you using more or less of the house? Does one have a dedicated home office that they can write off?
60/40 is roughly the proportions of our individual salary to our combined income. Also, my rent will decrease by about $200 a month whereas his rent will increase by $400 (he has very cheap rent right now), so I would be benefiting financially from this move more than he would. Like SP noted, we're splitting rent this way so we only think about it once. Everything else is probably 50/50.
Congrats! Our salaries are fairly equal, so we split the rent and bills 50/50. When it comes to groceries, I do all the grocery shopping, and he eats most of the food, so I pay for groceries up front, and then subtract roughly $75 a month for my own “personal food” (things I use to make my lunches, mostly, since he doesn’t make lunches to take to work). We split the remainder 50/50. We also split most of our eating out (or ordering in) unless one person decides to treat the other.
As for advice, I’d say expect to spend the first few months figuring out what your “roles” will be – at first, I wanted to write up a chore sheet or something, assign tasks, etc. – that ended up feeling weird and forced (and honestly, kind of like I was being his mother or something), so we just kind of let things settle. After a few months, we sort of naturally gravitated towards certain things (me laundry, he dishes – me dusting, he trash, and while I am usually the one reminding that it’s time to clean the bathroom or pick up our (mutual; I’ve learned that he is not the only one leaving piles of clothes on the floor, whoops) stuff, we generally just suck it up and do it together. Sometimes I feel like a nag, but when I brought this up to him, he said he doesn’t think I’m nagging at all.
So yeah. That was long-winded and probably hard to read through, but basically, lower expectations for perfection, communicate often and honestly, and hug each other every day before you leave for work (even if one of you is still in bed) and as soon as you see each other in the evening (even if one of you is playing games on your computer, ahem).
Kim´s last blog ..Teeny Tiny Awesome
Kim´s last blog ..Teeny Tiny Awesome
I think your last sentence is the perfect advice.
Renters Insurance? Also dependin on the state you are in you may have to add him or exclude him from your policy for legal purposes. In California at least they come after the insured first and they will end at the registered owner
Moving in with your partner is exciting, fun, a huge change, and a little nervewracking. When I first moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) 6 years ago, we split things 50/50. We wrote checks to each other after one of us paid rent/bills/groceries, and it was really, really annoying. We decided to create a joint account just for bills – we looked at all of our expenses and created a budget. We worked it out that each of us put a certain percentage of our income in the account because he made substantially more than I did, and splitting things 50/50 pretty much wiped me out at the end of the month.
Happy moving in!
Thanks! btw, I actually looked up a few CSAs, but I think I'm going to stick to farmer's markets for now… I like to see my fruits and veggies before I buy.
Nice! I agree – it's a little bit of an issue for me to let someone else pick my produce…
I've had 1 bad experience in 15 months, and they were more than accomodating when I brought up my concerns. Any method works when you're getting good quality produce from local farmers – I think it's a win-win for everyone!
I think the best money-related tip for me was "if you're going to combine your finances, make sure you have some money of your own for your own spending". For the last 20 years I've watched my mother have to ask my father for money for or justify to him to him the money that she's spent for things that she wants (or just go without). In the last 5 or so years she's wised up and now has her own account for her own money for her own needs and wants, and is much happier, and doesn't have to do without.
I won't consider combining finances except for in case of marriage, and even then I agree with your mom – it's much better to have your own money so you don't feel like you're asking for permission every time you want something.
The best advice I got was (once you decide he's the one) put one of your salaries into an investment acount shares or put it straight on the mortgage and learn to live on the other salary. At some point you'll probably only have one income. So this way you'll get used to it now, plus you'll be saving more or paying more off the mortgage so you'll get a head start
Good luck! I've never lived with a boyfriend before and don't forsee it happening anytime soon since I'm still single… but this is a very interesting topic. There are lots of great comments and I think your idea on how to split rent is great.
My now fiance and I moved in after only dating for 3 months and we have now been together for 2.5 years without arguing even once over the splitting of expenses. Our method is simple… I pay him a very small portion of the rent ($450 out of the $1600 total), he pays for all the utility bills. I do all the grocery shopping ($500/month… we live in Canada), and then he reimburses me $100/mo for groceries. Household chores are my primary responsibility, but we do have a housekeeper. Sounds complicated, but it actually works out perfectly. When we get married in September we plan to have a joint account that all expenses come out of and then we each get a spending allowance for the month. Any purchases over $100 get discussed.
Hi – Two issues that came up with my live-in bf: While we split costs 50/50, he was in charge of going online to pay utilities and I was in charge of mailling out the rent check. He would be late paying the utility bills and incur a late charge. It was frustrating to me as a pf blog reader to have any late fees, but I brought up the issue and we agreed that he would have to pay the late fee instead of splitting that 50/50 since it was his task to pay it. My bf is not very responsible financially but my day to day habits have rubbed off on him.
Secondly, I really like furniture porn, CB2 catalogues, and home decor. I got this insane urge to "nest" and make our first apartment "really ours". Unfortunately this meant I bought all this stuff (framed art, paint, throw pillows, etc.) for the apartment and boyfriend didn't care, want the items, or want to pay for them.
Also – figure out who will keep the tv, couch, etc. if for -some- reason you two break up.
I think the decor issue is a good one – I've decided that since we don't see us being in the apartment for longer than 2-3 years, there is no point in going all crazy with decor. I also know that "nice furnishings" have different meaning and represent different priorities between us two (as I imagine for many couples!), so it's kind of a relief not having to worry about that at least for the time being.