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The Engagement Ring: Do you know how much he spent?

CB and I are pretty open about our finances. We share our goals and make saving a big priority. I have learned, however, that openness has a limit – CB absolutely refuses to tell me how much he spent on my engagement ring.

ring 21 300x227 The Engagement Ring: Do you know how much he spent?Okay one more ring shot! (I actually can’t wear the ring yet because it has to be resized and insured. So please indulge me my pictures.)

On the one hand, I’m really curious – and a little scared – of how much he spent. On the other hand, I am also relieved because I can just go on enjoying my beautiful ring without feeling like we should have saved the money for something else.

Here’s what I do know: CB got the ring at Costco – woohoo! – and that the price fit into his budget and he paid for the ring with cash. That makes me happy. He drove to Costcos all over town trying to find something that he knew I’d like but that he also found pretty (I wouldn’t say that we have the exact same taste when it comes to rings). The fact that he put so much time and energy into picking out a ring that I love, all by himself, makes me very happy.

I’ve talked about my interest in nontraditional engagement rings. I had thought that we were picking out my ring together, so when I was looking at rings I concentrated on mostly moissanite and gemstone rings under the $1,000 mark. We share our goals and make saving a big priority, whether buying gifts, doing a free IRS efile, or grocery shopping, but on this point CB is a being a traditionalist and keeping mum about the price.

So, I feel a little guilty about the money. But call me a hypocrite because, well, I adore my very traditional diamond engagement ring. I love the bezel setting. The milligrain edging. The pave diamonds. I’ve never worn a diamond before, and wow, does it sparkle. In fact, I love this ring so much that I have decided I will keep it as my only ring. It can double as my wedding band. Plus, no need to buy an additional ring.

Ladies, do you know how much your ring cost? Do you WANT to know? Also, does anyone wear only their engagement ring, no wedding band?

  • onegirl - I laughed when you said "Call me a hypocrite…" I think most women THINK that they would be fine with a synthetic ring, but really, who doesn't want at least a small diamond? I like the ring without a band. I think a band would ruin the look, but if you traveled and wanted to keep your diamond safe at home, I would probably buy a thin band just to show that you're married. *shrug*

    I'm single, so I can't answer your question about how much a ring costs, or would I want to know. I am a fan of Pave' diamonds, and I think CB did a great job. He knows you so well. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - He does. :) I'm just thinking.. a band = more money! ReplyCancel

    • Molly - Who doesn't want at least a small diamond?

      Me.

      I don't think they're that attractive of a stone, and they're DEFINITELY not important enough to me to justify the cost. My husband made me two rings, one with malachite beads and another that used a marble pebble from a beach that we visited on our honeymoon. Those are prettier and had way more value to me than a crappy diamond ever would. I really just do not get the diamond-lust thing at all. ReplyCancel

    • Barbara - Lots of people don't want diamonds – given the issues with provenance and the human suffering their mining entails, I'm surprised at the people who DO want them. ReplyCancel

  • Tanja - I would have been happy with CZ. But my man wanted to give me diamond. He was clueless about saving so I took matter in to my own hands. I got the stone on e-bay (with 10% off from e-bay) then I got the ring at chain jewelry place. We paid about $1600 for both and it appraised at $5000. We were both happy.
    It might have not been romantic but I got what I wanted for fraction of the price.
    ReplyCancel

  • Miek - I know what my ring was appraised for, and I know he got the setting at a steep discount, so I have a general idea of what he paid for the ring. ReplyCancel

  • savvy - Congrats to you both on your engagement!

    I didn't want to know how much my ring cost but I ended out finding out when we had to add a jewelry rider to our homeowners insurance. I wear a set but I think yours looks great alone. ReplyCancel

    • scn - Same here, I found out how much my ring was when we were updating our insurance after we got married. Even if I didn't find out then, I still could've estimated it because my husband said he bought the ring with funds from his side job (and I know how much his side job pays).

      And I agree with you WH, it's nice that our guys put in the time and energy to research and pick out a ring for us! And without breaking the bank :) CB sure picked out a pretty ring for you! ReplyCancel

  • fabulouslyfrugirl - I think it's so sweet that CB did all that! What a keeper :)

    I think I would like to choose a non traditional ring, and I think I'd like to know now much it cost. But it's the thought that counts, and your ring couldn't have been any more thoughtful! Congrats, again! ReplyCancel

  • Lindsey - I know exactly what my ring cost because I picked it out with my husband. It's completely nontraditional for an engagement ring (it's an eternity band with a few rows of diamonds), and while it wasn't cheap by any stretch of the imagination (over $5k but under $10k), it was in the range that my husband wanted to spend, and he paid for it in cash. I absolutely LOVE it, and I know I will have it for a really long time, so I don't feel bad at all about how much was spent on it.

    I'm going to advocate for getting a wedding band, as it's not just about buying another piece of jewelry, but the wedding band is a symbol in and of itself. The engagement ring is a promise to get married, and the wedding band is a symbol of your marriage (and all that jazz). Also, I sometimes like to just wear my wedding band (another eternity band, but much smaller and more delicate, and the diamonds are in a different setting), especially during the summer when my hands swell, or if I'm playing sports, or when I travel (I don't like to bring both of my rings with me, especially to a foreign country, but I feel naked without ANYthing). But that's just me. My wedding band was also a fraction of the cost of my engagement ring. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I'm not too hung up on wedding bands because my parents don't wear any rings. But I see your point about traveling.. ReplyCancel

  • CityFlips - I love ring stories. I don't want to know what the ring cost…ever. I don't really want to be a part of the ring choosing process either. I just want it to be a surprise! My general opinion is it's all about the sentiment and nothing about the money. ReplyCancel

  • Laura - I know what my ring costs, because I saw the insurance paperwork–he had to fax them the bill of sale. I couldn't believe the price–it was the price of a pretty decent used car (it's also a Canadian diamond so that added to the price). He ended up getting financed at 0% for a year through the jeweler and assured me it would be paid off before the wedding and told me not to worry about it. Sure enough, about 2 weeks before our wedding, it was paid off. I love my ring, but sometimes I still can't believe how much he paid. ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen - My husband completely surprised me with the proposal, and for a while I had no idea what he paid for my super-traditional ring (a solitaire a little under 2 carats with small diamonds along the band). Once we were married and I took over the finances, I learned the ring’s appraised value when I renewed the annual insurance policy on it. Blew me away! But he paid cash, and I adore looking at the ring and thinking about him. It’s extra special because he bought the ring with “war money” – what he earned while deployed in Iraq during his time in the Special Forces. I get choked up thinking about him over there, saving and waiting to come home so we could start our lives together. *Sigh!*

    As for the band, your main setting looks large enough that it might even be difficult to wear a band next to it! You do what makes you happy here, of course – this is all about you guys doing what’s best for you two!

    CONGRATS AGAIN!!! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Aww your story is so sweet! And your ring sounds lovely – I really like the additional sparkle of smaller diamonds along the band.

      The "basket" (is that the right term?) of my e-ring is such that a band wouldn't sit flush with the band of the e-ring, plus, I am not a big ring wearer at all (I never wear rings before this), so I just figure that one ring would be more comfortable than two! ReplyCancel

  • Amber - If there is anything to spend money on, it's love and a symbol for that love and your lifelong marriage. My fiance always says, "you can't take it with you when you die," referring to money, so you might as well spend it on something meaningful! :) Love is the best thing to spend money on, in my humble opinion. :)

    I asked my fiance how much he spent on the ring and he told me — I kind of assumed how much he spent before he told me anyway. You definitely don't need a wedding band if you don't want one! I know some people that didn't do one. I chose to get a wedding band, though. Different strokes for different folks! :)

    Congrats, again! Beautiful ring! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Your ring is beautiful too! Love the trio of diamonds. I can't wait to read more about your wedding planning. Are you almost done? ReplyCancel

    • Kvatch - You're so right…spend the money on an enduring symbol of love. BTW: What did you get your fiance? ReplyCancel

  • Ready Set Track - My fiance totally surprised me. We have since gone to look for a wedding band and there is one that is suppose to go with my engagment ring so I roughly know how much was spent, but I am totally fine staying in the dark on this one.

    As for getting a band I think that your ring looks great alone! I think that it could be hard to get a band to match! Congrats!!! ReplyCancel

  • Alotta Lettuce - GORGEOUS ring! CB did a great job and I'm so happy you love it, even though it's more traditional than you originally preferred. Getting married has a way of instilling a fondness for tradition in people.

    I do know how much my ring cost, because I flat out asked Dude one day. It was more curiosity than anything, but suffice to say, I was SHOCKED when I heard the number. Like, knock the wind out of me, pick my chin up off the ground shocked. It was SO much more than I'd imagined it costing and what I was comfortable with, especially because it contains a nontraditional stone – something I very specifically wanted – and I'd assumed that would make it far cheaper than a diamond ring.

    Wrong!

    I adore my ring, but every time I look at it, I can't help feeling that there are a million other things the money could and should have been used for. And the idea that I'm wearing such a valuable asset on my body makes me incredibly uncomfortable sometimes.

    In the end, we actually ended up spending less money on our wedding than my husband spent on my ring, which totally boggles my mind. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Wow! I don't know what he spent on the ring, but I don't think we can do a wedding for under that price. I swear, if I didn't want my girlfriends as bridesmaid, we'd just do a 20-people wedding. ReplyCancel

  • Laura - I know exactly how much my ring cost because we had it made special. We very much didn't want a traditional ring but also didn't want a poor quality ring. My ring is entirely CZ. We had the rough CZ cut by an award willing gem-cutter (even the tiny stones.) It was interesting because most jewelers and gem cutters were not interested in making a fancy CZ ring. We eventually found a wonderful (and young jeweler) that was excited by the project. He talked to the gem-cutter who agreed to do it for him. I couldn't be happier with my ring.

    Here is a picture. http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a300/Southern5f

    This is the Jeweler :http://www.yelp.com/biz/timothy-meier-design-san-diego ReplyCancel

  • Susan - Like others, I know exactly how much my ring cost. My fiance proposed with his mother's ring, since the center stone was left to him. He thought (and I am so glad he did) it would be meaningful to select a new setting for the stone together, so that's what we did. We've had shared finances for a couple of years now, since we've been together for quite a long time, and when we bought the setting it came out of our joint funds, so I'm glad I had a say in how much it cost and what it looked like. I am extremely fortunate to have a pretty large (and very high quality) center stone which was free to us, so we could spend a little on the setting without breaking the bank. ReplyCancel

  • StackingCash - 1.29 carat, D color, VVS1, Very good cut and polish. Platinum setting flanked by 3 small diamonds on each side. Platinum wedding band with 7 small diamonds Very expensive, but my return has been priceless. Best. Investment. Ever.
    ReplyCancel

  • MommaStar - Your hubby to be sure does know how to pick a ring it's absolutely beautiful. ReplyCancel

  • Jessie - I know exactly how much my ring cost because I helped buy it. When we got engaged, my husband was still in college, but I had a full-time job. I had more money saved and knew that eventually my money would become our money, so I had no problem helping to buy it.

    I wear my engagement ring as my wedding ring. It did not come with a wedding band and we would have had to have one specially made which would have been an outrageous cost, so we decided against it. I still love my ring today as much as I did when I received it a little over 2 years ago. ReplyCancel

  • Kmk - Like lindsey, my engagement ring is an eternity band with several rows of diamonds. I am not really a jewelry person and so when it came time to get a ring had trouble picking one out. Then I saw the eternity band and knew it was what I wanted. We designed the ring together and i know exactly how much it costs. We did not get a second band however and so now my engagement ring is my wedding band!

    In your situation, because the wedding band also functions to let other people know you are now married, I would suggest a separate band that you then wear on your left ring finger and then you switch your engagement ring over to your right ring finger. Lots of my friends have done that and I think it looks very modern and it works well when the engagement ring setting is thicker and it is more difficult to stack the rings!

    Congrats! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - The left hand / right hand idea sounds pretty good… I still don't like the feeling of rings though. LOL. I'll make an exception for my ring. ;) ReplyCancel

  • kiki - I know how much mine cost too. He designed it himself, including extracting some diamonds from a diamond ring my late grandma had which are now inset into my band. He took his designs to a jewler to "build" it and paid cash. I'm just as proud of how much he saved by doing it this way as I am about the thought that went into the design.
    Oh, and I'm not doing a band either. I love my ring, and I don't need anything else! ReplyCancel

  • Investing Newbie - I don't if I would want to know. It really doesn't matter. But, I guess, maybe I would be a little curious. I totally agree with you on the wedding band for practical purposes. But maybe you can do a thin white gold band just to show that you're married and not perenially engaged? ReplyCancel

  • Ann - I have no clue what my ring costs, and I honestly don't want to know. He bought it with his money before we had merged anything. I wear it with my band and love having them both. They represent two different things. Your ring is beautiful and if you don't want a band then it will stand well on its own. ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Your ring is gorgeous!

    My sister kept her engagement ring as her only ring for the first several years of her marriage. The problem she kept running in to is that everyone she met was constantly asking her when she was getting married because, you know, she was just wearing an engagement ring! She got so tired of hearing that question, answering "I've already been married for X years", and then answering the ensuing "then why don't you have a wedding band?". People are a little nosy I guess, but for her 4th wedding anniversary she got a band so the questions would stop! Just something to think about =) ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - That's funny that people ask. Neither of my parents wear rings, but I don't think they've ever gotten any questions about their marital status. It's strange, right, how we advertise our availability or lack thereof on our body. ReplyCancel

  • Margie - I picked out my engagement and wedding rings – DH paid for the engagement ring (which was about $2K) and we split the cost of the wedding band ($1K). We paid cash. I'm really happy with my set – it's gorgeous and suits my style perfectly. I still love to look at it when I'm driving and my hands are on the steering wheel!!

    Your ring is gorgeous! Congrats on your engagement – planning the wedding will be fun (sometimes stressful) and the time will fly!! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I am hoping the planning won't be stressful. I figure I will have so many things to stress over (grad school applications, AHEM), that I don't want to waste any "stress capacity" on the wedding. ReplyCancel

  • MoneyMaus - Coming from a single female…I don't want to know how much the ring costs when I get engaged/married one day. Of course as a PF nerd I'll be super curious and maybe try to find out on my own, but I'd trust my future spouse to have saved for it :)

    Love the fact that he went to Costco and did his research! Have you searched the site to try to guess how much it was?? (I'll admit that I did! Hehe!) ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I did, but the ring isn't listed on Costco's website. I did find a few similar designs with larger center diamonds, so I know at least he didn't spend *that* amount. I definitely love my ring, so maybe it's for the best I am go on in blissful ignorance. ReplyCancel

  • craftingismylife - I know how much my husband paid for my ring ( I control the finances). If I knew then what I know now. I would not have allowed him to buy it. I wear both rings now however; my cousin only wears the engagement ring. It is substantial enough that she did not need the band. ReplyCancel

  • M - Congrats on your engagement and having a common sense fiancé who stuck to a budget and paid for your ring with cash. My ring was $500 and I picked it out. Glad I know how much it cost. We focused on building a solid marriage not having an extravagant wedding! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - We both have common sense for the most part! But he also apparently has really good taste. I was pleasantly surprised. ReplyCancel

  • eemusings - I wouldn't really want to know. But this was an heirloom ring..I do know roughly how much he spent getting a new band and getting it all cleaned up. And actually, I do know how much it's worth as we had to get it valued for insurance. It's not an amount I would have wanted him to spend if he bought a whole ring, but it's about as high an amount I'm comfortable wearing on my finger.

    If he had bought a ring.. I would have wanted a ruby, as I think I've said before, I'm not a big diamond fan. But I really do love my ring, it may be old but it's really unique and I love the design. I would have preferred a silver one, but the way my ring was designed, it really needs to be gold to contrast with the stones/filigree.

    I don't know if I want a wedding ring. My mum didn't have an engagement ring, I don't think, and so I grew up only ever seeing a plain band on her hand. Now of course everyone wears two rings, on the same finger (which I think would just feel imbalanced!) So I may not have one, or maybe I'll wear it on my other hand instead. Also, I think it would be impossible to find one that looked good next to my e-ring. ReplyCancel

  • liberalsimplicity - Congratulations on your engagement! That is so exciting.

    I have absolutely no idea what my ring costs, by choice. My husband would tell me in a second if I asked him, but I specifically don't want to know–and made that clear shortly after accepting his proposal! I simply didn't want the knowledge of how much he spent to influence my feelings toward the ring. I love it, he loves it, it's exactly what I would have picked out (seriously, it's scary how much this ring is my style considering the only thing we talked about concerning engagement rings was gemstones), and I don't need to know what it costs. Maybe one day curiosity will get the better of me, but it hasn't yet, and I'm an astoundingly nosy person. ;-) For the record, my ring is a lab-grown ruby in a white gold Tiffany setting. It has an engraved design that matches the engraved design on my wedding ring, which is a simple band. ReplyCancel

  • Insomniac Lab Rat - I know how much hubby paid for my ring, because I have to take the receipt when I get it inspected every 6 months- I'm sure we could have covered the price or something, or hubby could always come with me and hand them the receipt, but that's sort of silly. I didn't ask, and I knew that he had saved up for it and found something within his budget, and now I know the exact amount.

    I think your ring makes a very nice stand-alone ring. Mine is much simpler, and a plain white gold wedding band adds a little "weight" to it. If you wanted a band for the wedding ceremony and other situations where you didn't want such a large ring, my band cost less than $100 but has held up just fine over the past (almost) 2 years. I agree that it might be a little difficult to find a band that fits with yours, though. ReplyCancel

  • Carey - I know how much mine cost because I saw the receipt with the certificate of specs later. I looked into insurance but because we didn't own a house we couldn't add it as a "rider" to another policy and it turns out that separate jewelry insurance is/was ridiculously expensive! Like 15-20% of the value of the ring per year! So I decided to wing it and I haven't lost it yet… Look forward to hearing what you find. ReplyCancel

  • Jessie - Jordan and I chose my engagement ring together – it was just under $4,000 – yea, it was a huge expenses but I absolutely love it! We decided that this was one thing we didn't want to worry about $$ on. ReplyCancel

  • MoneyIsTheRoot - Im currently in the process of picking out a ring myself, so I as soon as I saw this title, I clicked on the article! Rings truly are expensive, and I've been doing a lot of looking on jamesallen.com and union diamond, I find both have comparable diamonds for much lower prices than even Blue Nile. All of the options are better than a brick and mortar because they dont have the overhead of the stores, nor do they charge you sales tax! ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - If there is a Costco near you, I'd take a look. Costco usually offers excellent value, and some of their rings are so, so, beautiful. Are you going to tell your girlfriend how much you spent? ReplyCancel

  • Jessi - My ring was not too expensive for us, though my fiancee did buy it on credit- I don't think he had to (it was paid for before the wedding), but I hate thinking about the price. I sometimes wish we had the "guts" to go with something like a pink sapphire, that would have been more "me" and less expensive at the same time.

    That said, I love my engagement ring, and it goes nicely with the wedding band. ReplyCancel

  • Priscilla - The wedding industrial complex has brainwashed us all. Go to a developing country and get a grip on how wasteful this all is.

    We got married for $300 including our honeymoon and not thirty years ago but only seven years ago. We had a small ceremony in the back yard and went for two nights away an engagement ring, forget about it. Take a look around at old money and the very wealthy, do you see big engagement rings? No they wear a simple gold ring and call it good. People who want big diamonds are people who are not secure in their social standing and in my mind are more likely to be part of the 50% divorce.

    Take the money spent on this big wedding stuff and invest it or give it to charity. Why get kidnapped or robbed over a CZ? ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - By the virtue of living in the U.S., most of us are committing wasteful practices every day. I think engagement rings are an easy target, but I take the opinion of live and let live. Everyone has different priorities, budgets, and choices. We just try to do the best we can, right? Congratulations on your 7th anniversary. ReplyCancel

  • Lene Johansen - I get tons of compliments on my ring, which cost less than $400. I did not want a diamond because I think they are boring, because the prices are highly inflated by a monopolistic market where a handful of suppliers are keeping the supply artificially short, and because I love garnets. I have a yellow gold ring (hate white gold) with a big garnet and tiny diamond accents.

    I got the ring I wanted, we did not spend money that I'd rather spend on other things, such as savings.

    I have gotten one buttmunch comment on the ring, which was a friend of a friend asking if I wanted an untraditional engagement ring. It is untraditional to me, because I am from Norway originally, where the engagement ring later becomes your wedding band. It is usually a plain gold band. I have a big hunking rock, and it my favorite rock.

    Also, my mother-in-law recently visited Prague, came home with two silver garnet rings. One for her grand daughter and one for me, since she had not picked up that I wanted one for my engagement ring. That is now in my jewelry box and will be given to our daughter, when we have one. ReplyCancel

  • haelmai - I know how much my ring cost because we picked it out together. It was more than we had originally planned, but it was specially made, so it is one of a kind, and I can't get over how amazingly beautiful it is. I filed the insurance papers, so I know exactly how much it cost, but I also know he paid for it from his savings, so we didn't go into debt for it. It was well worth the cost, in his eyes and mine. :-) ReplyCancel

  • jerry - Good man. The ring is beautiful, he has insurance for it and it's paid for in cash. This will definitely lead to a successful marriage. ReplyCancel

  • Ryan - I see it like this. If anything besides cash/debit was used to pay, you paid too much. ReplyCancel

  • DreamWoven - The only reasonable amount to spend on an engagement ring, is the amount you can afford to pay with cash. Otherwise, you are selling your future by using credit or a loan… actually, if you live in a community property state, you will be selling both your futures. ReplyCancel

  • Love your ring! - If you've already checked Costco.com, you've probably already found this, but I thought I'd share. Looks like CB dropped a pretty penny on yours— and he got a beautiful ring! http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - That is a beautiful ring but goodness no. My ring's carat weight is much lower and the metal's different. I do like that style of rings though – the vintage look is very appealing to me. ReplyCancel

  • Financ. Independence - To be brutally honest it is of NO importance. The thing is – whether you like it?

    The more money you have every little mistake will cost you much more. Lets say you have saved 3 million and suddenly it dropped 1% – it is 30 K.

    At the end of the day – we are saving money just to avoid anxiety. You can not get rich saving money. All you can do is to secure you current way of living. ReplyCancel

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  • Little House - The fact he went to Costco should make you feel relieved about whatever price he paid. :) I'd definitely say it's a gorgeous ring that doesn't need another band. If you decide on a simple band later on for practical purposes (like bathing kids, or gardening!) I'm sure you could find an inexpensive one. Again, congrats! ReplyCancel

  • The Asian Pear - It's a very pretty ring. Although, I think you should have it appraised and then get insurance on it. I know it takes the romance out of it, but call me a pragmatic… Cause well, it's a GORGEOUS ring. And I'd be so worried about losing it or having it stolen. Congrats again! ReplyCancel

  • Kay Lynn - Congratulations!

    I hope we meet at some point so I can see it in person. I actually picked out my wedding set so I know how much it cost. I was a second time bride and my husband wanted to make sure I got what I wanted.
    I wear both at all times, but whatever you decide to do is right for you. ReplyCancel

  • rubee - Your ring is absolutely gorgeous!! Congratulations!!

    I know how much my rings cost too. I did a lot of research while we were talking about getting engaged and couldn't fathom paying the huge markup on engagement rings. Instead we bought the diamond from a wholesaler and he brought it to a jeweler to have it made into a ring. I wasn't involve in that process though so I got to be surprised when he finally proposed. :) ReplyCancel

  • financial success - In a lot of countries, an engagement ring is just a gold band. I am not sure why here we make such a big deal about engagement rings – it's like some sort of a competition.
    I think couples should concentrate more on having money for their future life: honey moon, the place to live, furniture etc.
    Otherwise, they start their married life with a bunch of bills and debt. Does it make sense? ReplyCancel

  • llo - I snooped until I found the diamond certification for my ring. I already knew where it was purchased and how much the band cost, so I used their “choose your own diamond” tool to look up a diamond of the exact specifications as the one he purchased.

    The site, brilliantearth, uses recycled gold and theoretically ethically mined diamonds and labor.

    I told him to spend $1,000.

    He spent $3,300. ReplyCancel

  • HappyGirlinDC - Hi! Been reading your blog for years. Thank you for sharing.

    I also got engaged by suprise a month ago to the greatest man I know. I think a ring he picked out symbolizes the love in it, and not how much it costs, or whether it's your style.

    Like you, I'm all about buying a bigger/nicer house and not spend it on a wedding (I've been a bridesmaid in 10 weddings, probably averaging $150/head or more not including photos or the venue). There's so much drama with the +1 for your single friends and also pressure from parents to invite their friends. My fiance agrees with my outlook. A friend just gave me "One Perfect Day" about the wedding industry in America. We've gone from courthouse to my friend's kitchen to destination Hawaii/Carribbean to something around 50 people. No final decisions yet, but the cost of it drives me insane! I'll be following your blog as you plan. Also, check out all the free Excel documents on google wedding (as well as a free web site, etc). http://www.google.com/weddings/

    Best of luck! ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen - Eeeh, congrats again! I've been engaged for over a year now and started wearing my ring before I got it insured–probably not the smartest thing, but it was pretty to look at and already sized as my fiance and I had gone ring shopping before he proposed. When we went shopping, we found rings to my liking, and when he proposed, the ring turned out even fancier than I'd imagined. He's friends with a gemologist so he went to his friend to have the ring designed instead of a jewelry store or buying online. I'm not sure if this ultimately saved him money, but the ring ended up being appraised at a lot more than I had anticipated. I got it insured 4 months after we'd first gotten engaged and try not to think too much about the price (he paid in cash but I think he borrowed some money from his mom too). At the end of the day though, I love the ring and he did really well. :) ReplyCancel

  • Rico, Leeds - Considering how much weddings cost, starting with the engagement ring, I'm always surprised that every wedding doesn't start in utter poverty for the couple! It seems a bizarre modern trend that they have to be expensive to be any good, when the happiest weddings I've been to have usually been the cheapest, where the couple do not have such a financial worry in the back of their mind and can actually have fun. ReplyCancel

  • starchase83 - We are in the middle of getting our engagement ring that we haven't even told anyone that it's in the works. The beauty of the internet is that we are anonymous. :)

    We've been together for 4 years and he's been promising an engagement for the last 2-3 years. I don't know if he felt guilty that he didn't perform sooner or what but he ended up getting me a way bigger ring than I had expected. We went through a private jeweler and had the diamond brokered from Belgium so we had a few to chose from. I know exactly how much it cost and the set hasn't been valued as a whole b/c we haven't finalized the setting yet. Seeing how much other people are spending on rings I am kind of embarrassed to admit how much we spent. Funny thing is that we are planning on spending half that on the actual wedding. We did pay cash and will be paying cash for the wedding too. Since no one knows what we are up to everyone thinks we are being tightwads but at the same time maybe it's not a bad thing to help us tighten up our budget as a whole.
    BTW… congratulations on the wedding! ReplyCancel

  • Bec - Your ring is beautiful!!! I love the antique setting. My fiance won't tell my the cost either but I know the paper value is $38,000 (eekss!). ReplyCancel

  • LMC - nice ring!

    but on the topic, i know how much my ring costs, because the agreement i have with my fiance' is that i'm putting the amount of what he paid for the ring towards the honeymoon. I think that's fair…and i can say is that it's going to be a nice honeymoon! ReplyCancel

  • kim - Gorgeous, congrats! You don't want to know – first, it's not sentimental to know. And second, if you have no idea how much diamonds cost, you will be 100% floored no matter how good of a deal he got! ReplyCancel

  • Lauren Lockets - I feel that I would want to know as well but its probably best if I didn't. I am not engaged but the idea of knowing could/would drive me crazy either that it was too much or that it was too little. If I just don't know the price the ring in my mind will be perfect without a price tag alongside it. ReplyCancel

  • BooKoo Bucks - I just found your "all things wedding" tag, so I'm reading the back posts and commenting although hardly anyone will see my comments. :)

    I don't know how much my sweetie paid for my ring, but I know that it wasn't costly: it's a moonstone in a silver setting, and it is JUST WHAT I WANTED. I've gotten a couple of odd looks, but I didn't want a diamond because (although I love sparkle), I am a klutz and don't do well with sharp edges or expensive things that I might lose. This way, there's no need to insure it; I won't scratch myself, my sweetie, or any children I'm handling; we can stay within our wedding budget; and it has the same sentimental value.

    After some discussion, I got my sweetie an engagement ring of her own — it's black ceramic with a tiny brilliant (not a diamond) embedded in it. Perfect for her. Our wedding rings will be custom-made by a local jeweler and will be silver, not gold. The usual price for that basic design is $350. I am satisfied. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I'll see your comments! :) Your ring sounds lovely, and what a wonderful gesture to design a ring for your partner. I love the ceramic rings I've seen when we were looking for CB's wedding rings. ReplyCancel

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