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The Engagement Ring: Do you know how much he spent?

CB and I are pretty open about our finances. We share our goals and make saving a big priority. I have learned, however, that openness has a limit – CB absolutely refuses to tell me how much he spent on my engagement ring.

ring 21 300x227 The Engagement Ring: Do you know how much he spent?Okay one more ring shot! (I actually can’t wear the ring yet because it has to be resized and insured. So please indulge me my pictures.)

On the one hand, I’m really curious – and a little scared – of how much he spent. On the other hand, I am also relieved because I can just go on enjoying my beautiful ring without feeling like we should have saved the money for something else.

Here’s what I do know: CB got the ring at Costco – woohoo! – and that the price fit into his budget and he paid for the ring with cash. That makes me happy. He drove to Costcos all over town trying to find something that he knew I’d like but that he also found pretty (I wouldn’t say that we have the exact same taste when it comes to rings). The fact that he put so much time and energy into picking out a ring that I love, all by himself, makes me very happy.

I’ve talked about my interest in nontraditional engagement rings. I had thought that we were picking out my ring together, so when I was looking at rings I concentrated on mostly moissanite and gemstone rings under the $1,000 mark. We share our goals and make saving a big priority, whether buying gifts, doing a free IRS efile, or grocery shopping, but on this point CB is a being a traditionalist and keeping mum about the price.

So, I feel a little guilty about the money. But call me a hypocrite because, well, I adore my very traditional diamond engagement ring. I love the bezel setting. The milligrain edging. The pave diamonds. I’ve never worn a diamond before, and wow, does it sparkle. In fact, I love this ring so much that I have decided I will keep it as my only ring. It can double as my wedding band. Plus, no need to buy an additional ring.

Ladies, do you know how much your ring cost? Do you WANT to know? Also, does anyone wear only their engagement ring, no wedding band?

  • llo - I snooped until I found the diamond certification for my ring. I already knew where it was purchased and how much the band cost, so I used their “choose your own diamond” tool to look up a diamond of the exact specifications as the one he purchased.

    The site, brilliantearth, uses recycled gold and theoretically ethically mined diamonds and labor.

    I told him to spend $1,000.

    He spent $3,300. ReplyCancel

  • HappyGirlinDC - Hi! Been reading your blog for years. Thank you for sharing.

    I also got engaged by suprise a month ago to the greatest man I know. I think a ring he picked out symbolizes the love in it, and not how much it costs, or whether it's your style.

    Like you, I'm all about buying a bigger/nicer house and not spend it on a wedding (I've been a bridesmaid in 10 weddings, probably averaging $150/head or more not including photos or the venue). There's so much drama with the +1 for your single friends and also pressure from parents to invite their friends. My fiance agrees with my outlook. A friend just gave me "One Perfect Day" about the wedding industry in America. We've gone from courthouse to my friend's kitchen to destination Hawaii/Carribbean to something around 50 people. No final decisions yet, but the cost of it drives me insane! I'll be following your blog as you plan. Also, check out all the free Excel documents on google wedding (as well as a free web site, etc). http://www.google.com/weddings/

    Best of luck! ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen - Eeeh, congrats again! I've been engaged for over a year now and started wearing my ring before I got it insured–probably not the smartest thing, but it was pretty to look at and already sized as my fiance and I had gone ring shopping before he proposed. When we went shopping, we found rings to my liking, and when he proposed, the ring turned out even fancier than I'd imagined. He's friends with a gemologist so he went to his friend to have the ring designed instead of a jewelry store or buying online. I'm not sure if this ultimately saved him money, but the ring ended up being appraised at a lot more than I had anticipated. I got it insured 4 months after we'd first gotten engaged and try not to think too much about the price (he paid in cash but I think he borrowed some money from his mom too). At the end of the day though, I love the ring and he did really well. :) ReplyCancel

  • Rico, Leeds - Considering how much weddings cost, starting with the engagement ring, I'm always surprised that every wedding doesn't start in utter poverty for the couple! It seems a bizarre modern trend that they have to be expensive to be any good, when the happiest weddings I've been to have usually been the cheapest, where the couple do not have such a financial worry in the back of their mind and can actually have fun. ReplyCancel

  • starchase83 - We are in the middle of getting our engagement ring that we haven't even told anyone that it's in the works. The beauty of the internet is that we are anonymous. :)

    We've been together for 4 years and he's been promising an engagement for the last 2-3 years. I don't know if he felt guilty that he didn't perform sooner or what but he ended up getting me a way bigger ring than I had expected. We went through a private jeweler and had the diamond brokered from Belgium so we had a few to chose from. I know exactly how much it cost and the set hasn't been valued as a whole b/c we haven't finalized the setting yet. Seeing how much other people are spending on rings I am kind of embarrassed to admit how much we spent. Funny thing is that we are planning on spending half that on the actual wedding. We did pay cash and will be paying cash for the wedding too. Since no one knows what we are up to everyone thinks we are being tightwads but at the same time maybe it's not a bad thing to help us tighten up our budget as a whole.
    BTW… congratulations on the wedding! ReplyCancel

  • Bec - Your ring is beautiful!!! I love the antique setting. My fiance won't tell my the cost either but I know the paper value is $38,000 (eekss!). ReplyCancel

  • LMC - nice ring!

    but on the topic, i know how much my ring costs, because the agreement i have with my fiance' is that i'm putting the amount of what he paid for the ring towards the honeymoon. I think that's fair…and i can say is that it's going to be a nice honeymoon! ReplyCancel

  • kim - Gorgeous, congrats! You don't want to know – first, it's not sentimental to know. And second, if you have no idea how much diamonds cost, you will be 100% floored no matter how good of a deal he got! ReplyCancel

  • Lauren Lockets - I feel that I would want to know as well but its probably best if I didn't. I am not engaged but the idea of knowing could/would drive me crazy either that it was too much or that it was too little. If I just don't know the price the ring in my mind will be perfect without a price tag alongside it. ReplyCancel

  • BooKoo Bucks - I just found your "all things wedding" tag, so I'm reading the back posts and commenting although hardly anyone will see my comments. :)

    I don't know how much my sweetie paid for my ring, but I know that it wasn't costly: it's a moonstone in a silver setting, and it is JUST WHAT I WANTED. I've gotten a couple of odd looks, but I didn't want a diamond because (although I love sparkle), I am a klutz and don't do well with sharp edges or expensive things that I might lose. This way, there's no need to insure it; I won't scratch myself, my sweetie, or any children I'm handling; we can stay within our wedding budget; and it has the same sentimental value.

    After some discussion, I got my sweetie an engagement ring of her own — it's black ceramic with a tiny brilliant (not a diamond) embedded in it. Perfect for her. Our wedding rings will be custom-made by a local jeweler and will be silver, not gold. The usual price for that basic design is $350. I am satisfied. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I'll see your comments! :) Your ring sounds lovely, and what a wonderful gesture to design a ring for your partner. I love the ceramic rings I've seen when we were looking for CB's wedding rings. ReplyCancel

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