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Adults Living At Home: My Change of Mind

When I was in college, my biggest goal was to make enough money at my job so that I wouldn’t have to move back in with Mom and Dad after graduation. Now that I am 4+ years out of school, though, I’ve realized it would have been nice to live at home for a few years. My workplace was too far to make it realistic, but even if I worked closer, I don’t think I was at a place where I would have wanted to live at home then.

What brought about this change of heart? I was reminded of this topic when Bridget at Hi That’s My Bike wrote a somewhat controversial post about adults living with their parents.

I don’t think anyone should live at home after the age of 20. I don’t care if you’re a student or saving up for a house, or whatever other ridiculous excuse you think justifies leeching off your parents. Everyone needs the experience of being independent in order to become self-sufficient. If you do not have enough money to pay rent, you have to find a way to make more money — this is called problem solving, and it’s an essential skill for coping with that scary thing called “real life” so it’s better to learn it sooner rather than later.

There are some aspects of the post that I agreed with. To have a successful stay at home, young adults should have a goal and a plan (getting a job, paying off credit card loan, etc.) and they should pitch in some way or another, such as chipping in for rent, doing some housework, buying groceries, etc.  I wrote about “boomerang” kids back in 2007, but given the economic downturn and the dearth of jobs for many new graduates, adults who live at home are more common than ever.

Moving back home isn’t all sunshine and roses, and it’s probably not a viable long-time strategy for many folks. But if you have a good relationship with your parents, living at home is a wonderful way to save up, accelerate student loan payments, and generally spend some more time with family.

I know several friends and friend-of-friends who have lived at home.

  • One girl lived at home for 5 years after college. She paid the market rate for her room. At the end of the five years, her parents gave her back all the money she had paid. That’s how she got a remarkable down payment and now is the proud owner of a 3-bedroom townhouse.
  • Another friend and his wife live with her parents while they are building up their small business and going to school.
  • One of my friends was a manager making $80K. She lived at home because it was 15 miles from her work, and there was no point in renting an apartment when she can save that money for something else.
  • CB lived at home for 2+ years after he graduated, and during that time he was able to squirrel money away (some of which to his retirement funds!). He was able to hang out with his brother and sister at night. He was able to eat his mom’s cooking – and bring me some when he visited!icon smile Adults Living At Home: My Change of Mind

Now I can say that if CB and I are ever working near my parents’ place, I would have no problem whatsoever moving in with them, setting on a very accelerated saving plan for a down payment, and enjoying my mom’s delicious dinners a few nights a week. I know my mom would love to have me back home. Maybe it’s a matter of culture (I come from one where it is more normal/expected for adult children to live with their parents – all my cousins currently live at home or in apartments purchased by their folks), but I don’t see anything inherently shameful in living with parents. It’s just a living situation.

So I guess my view on adults living at home is this: do what works for your situation, but don’t dismiss the possibility (and the potential savings) so quickly, and if you are living at home and working towards a goal, don’t be ashamed. It may not be as fun as living on your own, but what you gain in return – not just monetarily – could be well worth the inconveniences.

Would you live at home after college? Would you move back with your family as an adult to save more or pay down debt? Do you think living at home is shameful?

  • @financialsamura - I think it's a fine option, probably best not to tell anybody, and definitely problematic for bringing lovers home! ReplyCancel

    • Miss T - Agreed. Bringing lovers home can be an issue.

      I must admit- I moved out at 18 and never looked back. I really wanted to be on my own and it worked out ok. I loved the independence. ReplyCancel

      • Well Heeled Blog - The independence would be difficult to give up, I understand. But I know friends who live at home and they never have trouble dating anyone. My thoughts are – if someone is going to judge me for living at home (and have that be the first criteria to "disqualify" me as a date or potential relationship), that's certainly his prerogative but maybe we're not that great of a fit anyway. ReplyCancel

        • @financialsamura - It's different for girls and guys. Guys don't care so much if the girl lives at home. He wants her at his place anyway. Guys just don't care. Not sure the same can be said for the girl dating a guy who lives at home. ReplyCancel

          • nicolek28 - Yeah, as a female who is almost in her mid-twenties, I would have to agree.

            I don't think it's bad if people need to move back home to stay to save or regroup for a little while, but I think (maybe?) I would be uneasy if I were dating someone who had never moved out. I mean…not knowing how to juggle bills? buy groceries? getting mad that you left a light turned on 'cause your hydro is going to be more! Haha…I just think it's a good experience for everyone, regardless of how convenient it is to live with their parents.

          • From Shoes to Savings - I lived at home with my parents for one year after graduation, and I was seriously dating someone during that time. He never stayed the night at my parents' home, and it was always a little weird when I'd stay at his place overnight. My parents never said anything to make me feel uncomfortable about it, but I always felt a little guilty!

  • Chantalle - I don't think living at home is shameful at all. Maybe it's also because of my culture (Asian). I actually moved back in with my parents when I worked in Indonesia. There was no point in getting my own apartment there, especially since all places require a 1 or 2 year upfront payment of rent. This worked out well since I was able to save like crazy, as now I find myself back in the US with no job lined up!

    I think as long as the person living at home makes an effort to help out with rent/groceries/bills and (if they are unemployed) shows a considerable effort that they are applying for work, then it shouldn't be a big deal.

    Now if that person decides to buy the latest expensive sports car and designer goods, while taking advantage of living at home…that's their prerogative but I think that's wrong. ReplyCancel

  • @tigerpika - The only other thing I would add to this discussion is that there is no shame in asking for help if you need it and no shame in accepting help if it is offered. I left home to go to boarding school when I was 15 and haven't spent more than a month or two at home since (now I am 30), but my husband and I are contemplating a cross country move and would most likely stay with his parents til we got settled in and found our own place. They have offered and we may accept. Circumstances change over time and I am more willing to both offer and accept help since I have gotten older. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Exactly! I agree with this 100%. Good luck with the cross-country move if you do decide to undertake it. I am facing a possible move next year, and I'm dreading all the packing already! ReplyCancel

  • Katie (Red) - I think it's a viable option when both families agree, and it can be beneficial to both. For instance, if you move home, maybe you do the grocery shopping for the house and help with the chores. This takes a burden off your parents, so that both of you are benefitting from the arrangement.

    That said, I would personally be ashamed if David and I were forced to move back home. I'd feel like I failed as an adult. But if we chose to do it to save up a down payment… Well, I'd still feel a little ashamed just because I know how it would be viewed by almost everyone else in the family and in our circle. It's a viable option for some but not for us. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I don't think you should feel ashamed for a living situation that allows you to accomplish something else. For example, I wouldn't be ashamed to live in a tiny shack if that's what I had to do to save a down payment. I wouldn't be ashamed to drive a super old car. I wouldn't be ashamed if my parents gave me money for grad school or my wedding. As long as it's legal and ethical, I say go for it. ReplyCancel

      • Katie (Red) - You know what's funny? Every one of the situations that you laid out in your comment, I would not feel ashamed for doing. If we moved into a total dump to save money for a down payment, I'd feel great about it. But I wouldn't feel the same about moving back home. I guess, in my case, it would be a burden for my parents, and that plays into it. My mom has gone on and on about how excited she is to have the house empty for her and dad when my youngest brother moves out. They would let us move in with them if we asked, but I know it would be more of a burden than a help for them. Also, though, it really does boil down to what our extended families would think of us moving in with my parents. Pride – it's a dangerous thing! ReplyCancel

  • femmefrugality - Wow, I don't agree with Bridget at all. Sometimes its a viable solution for you…to get your life started the right way. And sometimes, especially in this economy, people stay at home to help out the parents. I'm not in this situation, but I appreciate your post greatly. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Thanks for reminding me that sometimes it's the kids who are helping out the parents by living at home. ReplyCancel

  • Kyle - When I finished college, I did not even consider moving back with my parents because I knew I would just get too annoyed with them. Plus, I couldn't give up my independence.

    Looking back on it, if it had been an option (it wasn't because I went to grad school then got a job an hour away), I almost wish I had. Not only would the saving money part have been nice but I would have loved to spend more time with them. ReplyCancel

  • jane - I come from a culture where it's expected that folks will live with their parents until they get married but growing up, I couldn't wait to leave and be independant. That desire underpinned my whole development including my drive to do well at school and earn scholarships for college. After college however, I realized that the quickest way for me to be able to comfortably afford a home of my own was to stay at home and save as much as possible. Now, I have more than enough saved to do so but it's ironic that my friends who just moved back home without goals or anything and are just waiting till they decide to settle down in marriage have no downpayment saved, spend money on cars and lifestyle inflation and are hardly saving for retirement. I guess they assume that when they choose to settle down in marriage, things like downpayments will magically fall in place. In the end , I chose the quickest route to saving as much as I could so that I could really get what I want in the shortest period of time. Moving back home allowed me to save so that I wont have to be renting for a number of years and would be able to afford my own home much faster. ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I'm like Miss T. I moved out at 18, and bought a house at 20. I couldn't imagine living at home again. But that's mainly because my mother has major issues. ReplyCancel

    • Sarah - If you don't mind my asking, how in the world did you save up enough money for a down payment for a house in two years? I am 27, broke, and supporting myself completely. I can't save money, let alone save enough for a down payment for a house over two years. I wish I could. ReplyCancel

  • Kate - Interestingly, my husband moved home with his parents while we were married and he was commuting between their city and ours for work.we hadn't considered going that route (DH hadn't lived at home in 16 years and we planned to have him rent a small bachelor apartment) but *they* actually asked us to consider it.

    See, they are in their 70s now, and his dad has had a few health scares. Having DH at home allowed them to reconnect in a way they hadn't been able to when he was last at home (as a teen), allowed to funnel our money into the commuting costs rather than another apartment, and for them to have someone to help out around the house- shoveling snow and the like.

    I think it was a positive experience for everyone in the end. Nobody was clamoring for it to be a forever thing; the parameters were more clearly laid out than i think they would have been had it been an extension of teenage hood, as it is for some people. ReplyCancel

  • Lindy Mint - Though I said I never would, I moved back in with my parents after college to save money for a big trip I was taking. I was able to sock away $6,000 in six months by working full time and living on a really small budget. That money allowed me to travel Europe and America for six months.

    After traveling I lived with them for another year, saving $7,000 to pay for a second round of education after deciding to change careers. Had I not lived at home, I wouldn't have been able to do these life changing things (though it really did suck living with the parents). ReplyCancel

  • The Girl Next Door - When I graduated from college in 2007, I lived at home for two years before moving out after I got sick of commuting to the city for work. I didn't mind living at home – it was actually my relatives who teased me. Ironically, my two older cousins now live at home. It's not really anything to be ashamed of because so many people are doing it now, but pre-recession, I was sort of embarrassed about it. I don't think I'd want to move back though because it would make me unhappy. I like living on my own even if I have a lot less money. ReplyCancel

  • Newlyweds ona Budget - Thanks for alerting me to that post. As someone who lived at home til I was 25, I found it extremely….interesting.

    I did what I had to do and what was best for me. I was working 4 jobs at one point, seven days a week, so no one can tell me that I didn't try. I just honestly couldn't afford it. And if it were up to my mom, I would have never moved out in the first place! In our culture, I guess it's a lot more social accepted. Women aren't supposed to leave their parents until they get married. But yeah, we don't live in Mexico so I moved out anyway : ) ReplyCancel

  • underexperiment - I too found that post a bit alarming (and I know Bridget in real life!). I'm not actually sure what she would say to my situation. And I don't dare ask.

    I lived at home throughout the 5 years of my undergraduate degree. I was fortunate that I had my parents help for my first degree. I still had two part time jobs but I also had a car to pay for. Anyways, I moved out the year I was done and lived in my own apartment downtown.

    This year, I chose to embark on a new adventure – moving to London, England for a masters degree for a specific program that wasn't available back home. This year is setting me back nearly $50,000 CAD. If I move back to Canada next year, I'll probably be forced to move back into my parents home… at the age of 26. Do I regard this as shameful? No, I don't. This would be opportunistic, as I would attempt to find a job and regain stability. I would more than likely reassess the situation after a few months if my circumstances changed.

    Frankly, I think my parents would be offended if I lived in the same city, was poor and *didn't* live with them! But then again, I'm sure that's just my conservative immigrant parents' logic :) ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I think my parents would feel the same way! Here's what they'd say – families are supposed to help out each other – and why make things so much more difficult for yourself because of pride? Everything has a price – you are sacrificing something by moving back home, but you will be able to gain something as well – reaching your goals that much more quickly. ReplyCancel

  • waterbuffalo - I did not, and would not personally want to live with my parents after college. But then again, I wouldn't look down upon anyone who does, its a personal choice. ReplyCancel

  • Sense - I would only do it if one of my parents needed care, or I just didn't have any other options available. I don't think I would do it to merely save up extra cash. For me, it is fine to live with the rents during school or a move or tough financial times. that is what family is for. But using your parents as a crutch or your personal maids? No. No matter how nice and great the parents are, you have to learn to stand on your own two feet! Except in times of crisis/illness, I think parents' jobs are done at 18 or after schooling is complete. After that, they are for emotional support only–my parents have enough to deal with already; i'd never add my problems to the mix.

    I wouldn't ever take money from my parents, either, except if I were really in a bind with no other way out (including debt). But that's me–I would rather get creative on my own than accept help when there are other ways out of a mess I created for myself.

    What other people do is their own business, but I would definitely look down on someone that lived with their parents with no intention of becoming solvent enough to eventually move out, unless there was an illness or other extenuating circumstances involved. Saving up for a house? for other people, sure, if that works for you. For me? probably not. My family is a little crazy. ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - I totally agree, I think it just depends on your family dynamics. I know I wouldn't LOVE living with my family every day, but I think I would deal with it if it meant that I can be saving hand over fist for that down payment. Plus, my parents lived with my grandparents after they are married, so it'd just be like Ye Olden Days. ;) ReplyCancel

  • krantcents - My kids moved home for a short while until they had enough money to move out. It was a matter of months. I think it was an important part of growing up. ReplyCancel

  • Dinheiro Frugal - Moving out it's really an important part of growing up. I agree with bridget on everything she says. The easy way is to stay with your parents but: how do you define when you have enough money to move out? Do you want to keep your current standard of living, or are you willing to move down a notch or two? ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - You know, this is really interesting – I think I might do a post on what constitutes "growing up" and "being an adult." Coming from the perspective of two cultures, it's really interesting to see the juxtaposition. In my native culture, for example, "growing up" and "being an adult" means that you are stepping up to family responsibilities. You are buying a home. You are able to provide for your children and pay respect to your parents. Actual, "physical" distance from family is much less important, and in fact it's frowned upon if you live too far away from your parents. ReplyCancel

  • fabulouslyfrugirl - I also used to think that living on your own was the only way to grow up, but seeing so many of my friends (including BF and my close girl friends) live at home in a responsible manner, I have also changed my mind. I think there is a grown up and responsible manner for young adults to live at home – where you pay rent and use the opportunity to save money and have a plan. Obviously, there is also an irresponsible way where you just mooch off your parents with no plans to face the real world. ReplyCancel

  • Mercedes - I lived at home for a few years after I left my first college and decided to change majors. I was still going to school at night, working full time, and had not a dime to my name starting out. But I paid rent for my room, bought my own groceries, cleaned the house, and actually formed a greater bond with my family than I probably would have had I never come home.

    I think that there are definitely circumstances where it is OK to move back home. As long as you are working towards a goal (I was saving up for a house down payment, bought my house a year and a half ago!), and as long as you contribute to running the house, be it rent, cooking, cleaning, etc.

    Could I have lived somewhere else? Of course! Would I have found a place for what I was renting my room for? Not in the DC area! Unless I wanted to live in a scary neighborhood with 5 other roommates! Do I think my relationships with my family members would be as strong as they are now? Heck no!

    I really think that living at home is one of those scenarios that you have to look at case by case. Some people it really works for, and they use those years as a vehicle to better themselves. Some will take too much advantage of it and get nothing in the end. And for some, it just isn't a viable option because of a poor family situation or otherwise.

    But I really dislike when someone makes a blanket statement (about anything) like the initial blog post did. For any situation there is not one right answer…. ReplyCancel

  • @MotherWouldKnow - I write from "the other side" – the parent of two 20-somethings. It can be a reasonable, and even a necessary, temporary situation. From a parent's point of view, it may involve sacrificing privacy (yes, parents want their privacy too) gained when they became empty nesters. More important, many of us find that when a kid moves home we worry about them and their whereabouts in a way we don't when live apart. (If a kid stays out all night and lives apart, the parent doesn't know. But try being a parent whose kid lives at home and who went out drinking or went out with someone they don't know well – when that kid isn't home in the morning…you get my point) When there is agreement about the length of the stay, the goals it furthers for the kid, and good communication, it may well work for all concerned. But if it's a move back because you can't think of a better way to handle life's challenges … ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Yes! When I'm out of the house, my mom calls me every week. When I'm at home but she knows I'm staying out late, she calls me every hour. :) I guess out of sight is really out of mind. I might be coming from a completely biased standpoint, but I know my mom would LOVE to have me back home. For one thing, she'd get to see her favorite daughter more often, and another, she would be so happy to know how much money I'm saving. ReplyCancel

  • Emily - I think that if the parents and child get along (and the child gets along with any younger siblings still there) AND the child agrees to help with the upkeep of the house, act responsibly, etc., I don't see a problem with it nor do I consider it shameful. But I think boundaries need to be in place so there is an understanding of how long this arrangement can be continued. ReplyCancel

  • Janine - I don't know how I would have survived on Long Island if I didn't move back in with my parents for a year after I graduated college. Yes, I could have moved away, but I like living here. I worked all through the latter half of high school and college and saved up for an apartment but needed a buffer year to find a job with my degree that would enable me to keep myself fully independent. Cost of living is definitely an important factor to consider, especially in a state like New York.

    That said, I love being on my own and would be hard-pressed to justify ever moving back, unless I lost my job and had no other alternatives. Sometimes, it's just necessary to move home first in order to prevent larger financial issues down the road. ReplyCancel

  • munchkin - There is a different side to the sotry. Not everyone who lives at home is "leeching" off their parents. Some people live at home and pay their parents rent, and that in turn helps their parents pay the bills. Some people live at home because their parents NEED them. ReplyCancel

    • nicolek28 - i was also in that scenario for a few years. Then I decided that I couldn't sacrifice my independence and freedom and stay there. I still financially assist my mom in many ways, but she's also downsized her life to make it more affordable for her as well. ReplyCancel

  • emma - It seems like I'm in the minority here, but I couldn't stand to live at home. Every summer semester, I dreaded those three months of moving home from uni and living with my parents. I worked full time, so it's not like I was home all the time, but my personality doesn't mesh well with family. I would get depressed every time I had to prepare to move back, and find it difficult to live at home since I get too stressed by family actions and behaviours.

    Besides, I was told I would be paying $500 a month to live at home with all their rules, and in a city where jobs are not as easy to get, or I could move to a major city, where I would have access to a better transit system, more job opportunities, and I rented out an apartment for $750.

    I do wish sometimes that I could have had a better family relationship, and that I did have the option of being at home. That would have saved me more money, but I would have lost out on the freedom and flexibility that I have. Going home for the holidays (a week) is often too much time with my family – I do much better with day trips back home (for a day!), or I can do dinner and a show when my mom comes to me.

    That said, it's not necessarily shameful to live at home, but I do think it is if you are an adult still acting and behaving like a child, not taking on any personal responsibility. ReplyCancel

  • John - I'm paying $450 for a place in Smyrna with some random roommates, utilities inclusive. I work in Vinings. Suwanee is 40 minutes away on a good day, over 2 hours with Atlanta traffic. If I lived at home, I'd have to pay rent, maybe $300. Gas and time would make it moot, never mind having to deal with my mom. I might consider it if I worked closer.ReplyCancel

    • Well Heeled Blog - Traffic and family dynamics are two huge factors. I personally would love to "deal with my mom." I think we have definitely grown closer as I am older, and I really miss her cooking and her company. ReplyCancel

  • addvodka - I moved out at 18, and always thought that I would NEVER EVER move back home.

    However, now that I've gotten a little older and experienced life, I'm more realistic in knowing that I would. Especially if I was in a bad financial situation, or my parents needed help (I could pay rent), or was desperate to save up for a house. I would.

    My parents are divorced and I think my dad would be way better to live with , but if I needed to, I would.

    I don't forsee ever needing to. The only thought I've had about it is that my Dad has proposed that we all buy a house together, flip it, and live in it while the construction goes on. I could see that happening.

    On the other hand, I'd also buy a house with a basement suite and put my dad or brother in there. I'd rather have family in my suites than people I don't know.

    Just a thought. ReplyCancel

  • BooKoo Bucks - I'd rather not live with my parents (I'm 28 now and engaged to my live-in partner), but I could if it was the most viable option. I think they'd let me… they did let my younger sister live with them in the year she worked between college and graduate school. I know I would be uncomfortable in their house (as I am now when I visit) and would want to make it as short a stay as possible.

    What my parents offered me after I graduated college was the use of an empty house owned by my grandmother, for much less than I could rent an apartment for. The low rent for about 3 years while I got myself sorted out and into a steady job in a new city really helped. The reason I left (to frugal friends' disbelief) was because my mother has no sense of boundaries, and would drop by unannounced and let herself in with her own key. If I was home at the time, it was an opportunity for conflict. She would go through the house when I wasn't there and pry into my stuff, then call me to lecture me about my housekeeping habits. It got kind of scary. So I moved out, found a shared-living situation (well, a series of them), and now pay less per month than I paid my mother/landlady to share a small apartment with my fiancee and a housemate. And best of all, my mother doesn't have my new address. ReplyCancel

  • Tea - I lived at home for 2 years after college. I literally could not afford to live on my own. The tradeoff is that I got to start a career that I love vs. taking a job that pays a lot that I wasn't so attracted to. I didn't pay rent, but I cooked and cleaned and my parents were happy to have me. I probably wouldn't move back in with them again unless I was bankrupt or something and even then, most of my friends have guest rooms, so I'd try that route. I don't think there's anything shameful about living with your parents if you have a plan to eventually leave.

    I actually know a bunch of women who lived with their parents until they got married. They seem to be doing fine. To each its own. ReplyCancel

  • Don@MoneyReasons - Makes perfect financial sense to me. If I got along better with my mom, I wouldn't have mind staying at there house back then. Shoot, I would have even helped with the housework :)

    I would rather do what works best for me financially than follow some old thought that is outdated. To be completely honest, I hope my kids come back home from college when they are that age, as I'm sure any parent with a great relationship with their kids would hope. ReplyCancel

  • Black Friday 2011 Protests Expected on Thanksgiving One Minute Finance - [...] there. Let’s face it, times are tougher now than they were for the boomers (source: WellHeeledBlog.com).Excerpt: “Moving back home isn’t all sunshine and roses, and it’s probably not a viable [...]ReplyCancel

  • @1minutefinance - There is nothing wrong with living at home. In fact in many cultures people live at home until they get married. However, I think this have benefits and disadvantages. Benefit is the financially the person can save money but emotionally and psychologically people after a certain age get used to that standard of living and believe that thats how the real world is. Once they move out they get a huge shock. Thus, when a person is financially at a point where they can move out they should do so. I wrote a small blurb about this article also on http://www.oneminutefinance.com/financial-news/blReplyCancel

  • Matt, Tao of Unfear - I think it's smart, but not something I could do. I get antsy just going home for holidays. Now that I'm focusing on my writing, I really need to have a space that is "my space." I wouldn't have that at home. It would interfere with my work. I would likely be required to pay rent as well, so my actual savings would only be about $200 a month, if that. I'd love to save that extra money, but my independence is worth at least $200 a month. ReplyCancel

  • Pearl Jewelry - I don't think living at home in itself is the wrong thing to do in their twenties; the problem is when they are not even considering moving out. I am sure most of the commenters before me had very good reasons not to leave their parents' home as soon as they finished college, but we all know those 30-year-olds who make their mothers cook for them, clean up after them and some even as for money from their parents, and what is the worst in all of this is the fact that they feel comfortable and entitled to this way of life. They are the problem. I never know whether to feel sorry for their parents or think they are to blame for their children's behavior. I know I have been raised to be independent, and I tried to get off my parents budget as soon as it was possible. Their doors are always open for me to go back, but I hope I won't have to because it would make me feel like a failure. So, if the circumstances make a person live with their parents, I accept that, but if they are only taking advantage of them and choosing the easier way out by making it harder for their parents, who aren't getting younger by the way, I honestly resent it. ReplyCancel

  • From Shoes to Savings - I lived at home for one year after during graduate school. My parents and I discussed the situation extensively ahead of time, and we knew that the arrangement was for one year to allow me to save up for a downpayment on a home, and we established some pretty clear boundaries and rules for living together again. It worked out really well! At that time in my life, I was required to devote 99% of my effort to studying and I didn't really miss the freedom of living on my own. If I had had a regular job, I would have wanted to make my own hours and go out a lot more.

    I never felt looked down on my anyone, as many of the fellow grad students were also living at home to reduce costs…when we weren't living in the library, that is! I actually feel like living at home for that year helped me develop a more mature relationship with my parents…but I don't know that I would ever be willing to move back in to my parents' home with a significant other in tow! I am amazed by how so many PF bloggers have been able to make that work, if temporarily! ReplyCancel

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