I got this question on my post about the cost of long distance relationships, and thought that you guys can chime in and share some suggestions with this reader:
I’m just starting to see someone from NC and I’m in FL. We’ve spoken on the phone for months and he purchased tickets for me to come up at the end of August. It was just as fantastic in person as on the phone. At this point, we feel quite connected and have been having 2-3 hours conversation each night since early Aug. Since he paid for everything, tickets, entertainment, dinners out, food, gas, etc. while I was in NC last month, should I reciprocate now. He is softly mentioning my getting the next round of tickets and since we’re so ‘young’ in this relationship, I’m wondering “when is the time I should pay?”
My take is that if she can afford it and she wants to continue the relationship, she should pay for the next trip. At the very least, pay for a portion of the next trip. If she can’t afford to pay to visit until 3 months later and the guy wants her to visit say, in 2 months, then he should offer to make up the shortfall. Now if she is on a very tight budget and really cannot afford to travel, then she should have an honest conversation with the guy about why she is unable to visit or unable to pay for the visits.
Here’s my principle for thinking about money in relationships, long distance or otherwise: treat people with respect, make sure no one is feeling taken advantage of, and don’t jeopardize your financial security.