Win Free Book – When Life Strikes: Weathering Financial Storms

Life – and finances – can get pretty tumultuous through the course of 10 or 20 years. What do you do when the inevitable problems crop up? To that end, I am giving away a free copy of Cal Brown’s When Life Strikes: Weather Financial Storms.

From the publisher…

About the book: There are certain life events that are as stressful as they are unavoidable. All of these events may not happen to every individual, but nonetheless they each cause emotional heartache — and financial headache, and Cal Brown has seen them all. Thanks to his years of experience as a financial planner, coupled with various tumultuous events in his own life, Cal is able to give general guidance and specific financial tips to help ease the stress of these inevitabilities. When Life Strikes is an excellent resource for coping with unexpected tragedies, learning how to prepare for them, and looking ahead for the sake of your spouse, children, and personal future.

Author bio:Cal Brown, CFP, MST, has over twenty-five years of experience in the financial services field. He received his master of science in taxation (MST) from American University in Washington, DC, and his undergraduate BSBA degree from the University of Arkansas. Cal is currently an adjunct professor in the MST program at American University, teaching estate planning. Cal is vice president of planning for The Monitor Group in Virginia, a wealth management firm working with over 250 clients and managing approximately $500 million in assets.And if all that isn’t enough, Cal also plays guitar in a classic rock cover band in northern Virginia.

If you’d like a chance to win the book, please click on the permalink to this post and enter via Rafflecopter. Good luck!

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Santa dropped by with a Kindle Fire

By Santa, I meant my fiance. He snuck out of the house yesterday morning and came home with a Kindle Fire for me – happy surprise indeed! We had talked about getting an e-reader or a tablet this year, but I have been hemming and hawing about the price. I guess he got tired of my indecision and made a judgment call.

So far, I really like the Kindle Fire. I’ve been playing with the tablet all day. At $199, it’s much cheaper than the iPad (of course, with fewer capabilities, apps, etc.), but for my needs – light blogging, reading, web surfing, it is perfectly adequate. In fact, I am typing this post on the Fire right now. I haven’t completely ruled out returning the Fire and getting the $99 Kindle Touch instead, for the e-ink and the longer battery life. But it is nice to get wifi and be able to read content online. Either way, I will have to watch out and make sure I don’t go crazy with buying $10 books every week. Given that I can go through normal paperbacks in a couple of hours, I will have to stock up on free books as often as I can.

Do you have a tablet or an e-reader (or are you getting one this holiday season)? If you have good sources for free reading material, please share in the comments!

Read and Return: Buy a Book, Read it, Return it for 50% Back

read return logo Read and Return: Buy a Book, Read it, Return it for 50% BackAt the beginning of this week I had a quick business trip. At the airport, I went into a book store, as I often to, to browse around. I saw a row of books with a big Read and Return bookmark. Apparently, Paradise Shops, a chain of airport bookstores, has been operating this program since 2003.

The program goes like this: You buy one of their Read and Return books, and if you return the book within six months with the original receipt, you will get a 50% refund on the original purchase price. In essence, you have rented a book for 50% of sales price.

Certainly, it’s cheaper to get a book from the library or even buy it on Amazon.com. Most paperbacks I saw at the shop was $12-$18, so even 50% would be close to $10. That’s pretty steep for renting a book for a few days or even a couple of weeks.

So… of course you know what I did. I bought Mennonite in a Little Black Dress for $14.00 on Tuesday, finished it in one gulp, and then returned it when I came back yesterday. It was a 1-day book rental that cost me $7.00. And the book wasn’t as good as I had expected.

But, I would totally do this again. For the sake of my budget, though, it’d make sense to buy books at used book sales or even on Amazon. There is something to be said, however, for the convenience that the Read and Return program offers. Besides, a book is a healthier impulse purchase than a bar of chocolate, right? Right?

Have you heard of Paradise Shops’ Read and Return program? Would you use it?

Generation Earn Q&A and Book Winners

Kimberly Palmer 300x200 Generation Earn Q&A and Book WinnersKimberly Palmer answers your questions on her new personal finance book for today’s twentysomethings, Generation Earn. Plus, the winners of the book giveaway are announced at the end of this post.

1. Is your book mainly descriptive or prescriptive? Did you do interviews with people of this generation and does this book detail their strategies, or are these theoretical suggestions for strategies we should employ? If the latter, how many have you tried out yourself?

The book is based on my interviews with people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who, for the most part, figured out how to successfully take control of their financial lives so they feel financially secure, can support their families, and even give back ways that align with their values and goals.  I picked most of the people profiled because they were doing something a little different, or inspiring, and I wanted to get to know them better. And yes, I have tried out a lot of the ideas myself!

2. What is the most common obstacle is for getting out of debt?

Feeling completely overwhelmed. Having debt, especially larger quantities of it, can be paralyzing. Taking small steps is usually the best way to start, but of course, it’s easier said than done.  In my chapter on debt, I profile Veronica, who recently finished grad school. She has over $100,000 in student loans and had a lot of trouble finding a job after she got her degree.  But now, after getting hired at a nonprofit and a lot of hard work, she’s saving 10 percent of her salary and slowly paying off the debt.

3. How did you first become interested in personal finance?

After getting hired at US News & World Report to be a business reporter, I found myself more and more drawn to the personal side of money. I discovered I loved talking to people about their decisions, goals, and motivators. It was more interesting to me than looking at companies’ balance sheets and annual reports!

4. How do you choose between renting and owning. When do you know that you’re ready?

Such a tough question because it depends on so many factors, including where you live, your lifestyle, and your financial goals. Personally, I didn’t feel ready until I had enough money saved to make a 20 percent down payment and buy a house I could see myself living in for the next five to 10 years, at least. But I could also see the upsides of continuing to rent, especially given the many uncertainties in the economy.

5. How do you know when you’re “Set”? Everyone has a different number for what you need to do to build a healthy financial future, but how do you know what you will be comfortable with? I know I need to put money aside to save for retirement, but how much is “ok”? I have other things I need to save for as well – house, marriage, emergency fund, etc, and I still want to enjoy life!

For example, I have around 35% ($750) of my take home pay available for saving to different areas. Is it fine to put $325 of that to retirement, and the rest to other savings (vacation, home, emergency fund, wedding), or do I need more money going into that retirement fund? If it matters, I’m 25 and with no debt.

I think even if you had a million dollars in the bank, you might still feel like it’s not enough. There’s definitely something to be said for living in the moment and not being overly stingy in the name of savings. And that’s the tricky part, figuring out that balance for yourself. Personally, I like to go on a percentage goal for savings like the one you describe, so you’re always living below your means, which means collecting a sizable amount of savings for a rainy day.

My recommended goal is to save at least one quarter of your income, and ideally one-third. That includes money going into retirement savings accounts, too. A good goal is to put 20 percent of your income into your retirement savings account from pre-tax dollars and then save 15 percent into after-tax accounts for emergencies and goals, such as a home purchase or travel. It sounds like you are doing just that, and to be doing it at age 25 is especially impressive!

6. We know we have to save for retirement, build our nest egg, pay our debts and invest, but sometimes it feels so difficult to tackle all those things with a recently-grad paycheck. Is there a hierarchy of importance as to which of these aspects we should focus more money into? should we do it proportionally instead?

Also, If we’re planning on investing, but only on moderate amounts (im thinking on $100 monthly for the first year and then review it) which is the safer (yet at least mildly profitable) long-term choice? Should we invest in the housing market or wait a little longer?

Yes, you are right, setting up these priorities is key! I like your approach of starting with a realistic amount to invest each month instead of waiting until you feel like you have “extra” money, which of course will never happen.

Here’s how I recommend setting up the priorities, starting with what’s most important and with the estimated percentage of your spending dollars:

1.         The basics: food, housing, and transportation: 50 percent

2.         Debt payments: Less than 5 percent

3.         Savings: 25 percent

4.         Professional expenses: Less than 5 percent

5.         Household expenses: Less than 5 percent

6.         Entertainment: 5 percent

The categories don’t add up to 100 percent to leave yourself from wiggle room and so you can personalize the plan for yourself.

To answer your investing question, I would recommend sticking with something low-fee and simple, such as an S&P 500 index fund. Investing in the housing market is complicated because it usually means you’re money is locked up and hard to access if you need it. Whether or not to buy a house is a separate question (addressed above!), but don’t buy a house just for the investment return.

7. How did you growing up influence or shape your views on Personal Finance?

My parents had a huge impact on me! They set an example of always living below their means. Even though they earned just $40,000 (combined) as newlyweds, they managed to save $10,000 in one year so they could buy their first house. Of course, this was in the 1970s, so it was easier to live on $40,000, but still – they saved one-quarter of their income. And even though they bought us whatever we needed for school, they were frugal in other areas and didn’t let us waste.

8. Any advice or tips for putting aside money for large purchases (car, home, etc), without the temptation to draw money from those accounts when in a bind?

Every month, when you are preparing to transfer money from your bank account into your savings account (or investment fund), make a celebration of it, so it feels as good as splurging on some indulgent purchase. Turn it into a ritual. Then, once it’s in that savings or investing account, it’s not as easy to access, even if you’re tempted.

In addition, you should be automatically saving money through your retirement account so you’re not even aware that you had the money to begin with– that way you won’t miss it. You might even want to set up the same feature on your bank account so it automatically saves money out of your paycheck. A combination of automatic saving and celebratory saving should help you get to your goal.

9. What is your advice regarding planning for taking care of parents for Generation Earn, since many of them will have parents whose retirement plans were hit by the recent economic downturn, and may not fully recover in time for their retirement?

Great question and one reason I have a whole chapter on this topic. Taking care of parents is a huge concern for our generation. In fact, one survey found that two in five of us plan to give money to our parents at some point.  First, I recommend keeping an open mind. Even though our first reaction is often to feel resentful of these requests for help, it’s not always a bad idea, because our parents did, after all, raise us!

If you find yourself in this situation, first decide if you are able to help without putting your own financial security at risk. If the answer is yes, then consider giving a set amount instead of endless support whenever requests are made. That will help your parents (or other family member) to plan and get on top of their own budgets instead of grow dependent on you.  Also, look into non-financial ways you can help out: Could you sit down and help your parents come up with a budget, or better investment plan? Do they want help getting a part-time job in retirement? Maybe you could have more family meals together to save on food.

10. I would like to know if the author has any suggestions for 20-somethings who are feeling discouraged and jealous of their peers who are better off. I am making serious progress paying off my student loans, but then I look at my friends who own houses and make $$, and never had to deal with student loans, and it makes me really jealous. I try to focus on my own blessings, goals, and progress, but this still pops up from time to time. Thanks!

Yes! My advice is to embrace these feelings of jealousy. It sounds counter-intuitive, but some types of jealousy can be very useful to us because it helps to show us what we truly want. It sounds like what you want is financial security and maybe even luxury – and that you’re making steady progress towards getting there. Beyond that, remember that their lives are probably not as perfect as they seem. Everyone has their own internal struggles that aren’t always obvious. If they received money from their parents, then they might be beholden to them in some way. Celebrate your independence!

11. What is the difference between our generation and our parents (or previous) that made us generation consumer/debt/spoiled.

I completely reject the idea that we are “generation debt.” Yes, credit card debt and student loan debt has risen, but that’s largely because we are seeking more degrees and earning higher incomes. One of the key differences of our generation is that we have been shaped by two recessions in the last 10 years. It’s taught us to be savvier with our money and more financially conservative, which, in the long-run, will probably help us.

12. In your personal opinion (and after doing the research you did) so you think our Generation (Generation Y, or as you call it Generation Earn) will be one of the most successful generations or one of the worst in terms of saving money, being financially savvy, etc?

Maybe I’m being overly optimistic, but I think we are spearheading a new wave of financial savviness. Just look at all the websites and blogs dedicated to being smart with your money. We love talking about this stuff and educating ourselves, and that will pay-off.

And… the winners of the giveaway are Yumi, Kathleen, and Kari!

I will forward your contact information to Kim so she can arrange for your books to be shipped to you.

Thanks to everyone who have entered the contest. Also a big thanks to Kim for her answers and for providing the books to be given away.

Business Insurance Experts Premierline Direct

Generation Earn: Book Giveaway + Q&A with Kimberly Palmer

Today’s twentysomethings have been called many things – Generation Y, Generation Debt, Generation Next, Millenials, etc. Now personal finance columnist and author of US News’ Alpha Consumer Kimberly Palmer adds another (more positive) label to the mix: Generation Earn.

In her book Generation Earn, Kimberly addresses young adults’ money topics in three key life sections:

The first section centers on the self, covering professional goals, personal spending, debt, and investing. The second focuses on creating a home, including renting, mortgages, marriage, and saving for baby. The third focuses on community and the world at large, including green spending, sustainable donating, and supporting nonprofits.

I am really excited to see a book that talks about young people’s money issues in such a holistic manner – from self, to family, to community. Here’s what Kimberly adds:

The bottom line? We don’t need to resign ourselves to lives defined by debt. We can earn more, save more, and live more richly – largely because we’ve redefined what “rich” means.

Thanks to Kimberly, I have 3 copies of Generation Earn to give away on this blog. I will also be hosting a Question & Answer session with the author next week.

generation earn 300x300 Generation Earn: Book Giveaway + Q&A with Kimberly PalmerTo enter the giveaway, please do one (or all!) of the following:

  1. 1 entry: Leave a comment here with a question for Kimberly to be featured on the Q&A.
  2. 1 entry: Follow me & tweet about it @wellheeledblog with this message: RT to win Generation Earn @WellHeeledBlog see http://tinyurl.com/349sgk9 for details
  3. 1 entry: Subscribe to my RSS Feed (please leave me comment to let me know)
  4. 1 entry: Become a Fan on Facebook (please leave me comment to let me know)
  5. 1 entry: Write about this giveaway in your blog (please leave comment w/ URL to blog post).

Everyone can submit up to 5 entries. Deadline to enter is 12 midnight PST Sunday, October 31.

I’ll do a random drawing to come up with the winners, and announce the 3 winners and Kimberly’s answers to your questions on Monday November 8.

image source: generationearn.com

Win Free Book: God Sleeps In Rwanda

God Sleeps In Rwanda: A Journey of Transformation is written by Joseph Sebarenzi, a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the 1990s and a former speaker of the Rwandan parliament. The title of the book, God Sleeps In Rwanda, comes from an ancient Rwandan saying that means “God spends the day elsewhere, but he sleeps in Rwanda.” This saying can be a double entendre that refers both to Rwanda’s natural beauty and its history of violence.

godsleepsinrwanda Win Free Book: God Sleeps In Rwanda

Sebarenzi, a Tutsi, lost his parents, family members, and friends to the 1994 genocide, when hundreds of thousands of people, mainly Tutsi, were killed by a Hutu-dominated government. Sebarenzi has suffered what one can call unforgivable losses, but in God Sleeps in Rwanda, he tries to find forgiveness in his heart, come to peace with what had happened, and move forward to bring peace to his country.

This book reminded me a bit of Elie Wiesel‘s Night (about the Holocaust) and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn‘s Gulag Archipelago (about the Soviet forced labor camps) in that it’s the narrative of a man who has survived one of the worst violations of human life and dignity in history, and is now in the process of coming to terms with why ordinary men can commit extraordinary horrors.

This is a good book to read. This is a hard book to read. All I can say is – bring out the tissue boxes when you are reading God Sleeps In Rwanda. I tried to read this book in the airport on a trip but got too embarrassed to continue, because I was on the verge of crying my eyes out.

Book is hardcover and in excellent condition (I read it once).

For a chance to win this book, please do the following for up to 5 entries per person:

  • 1 entry = tweet this giveaway with @WellHeeledBlog and a link to this post
  • 1 entry = become a fan on Facebook
  • 1 entry = sign up for RSS updates
  • 1 entry = blog about this giveaway
  • 1 entry = comment on this post about a book you recommend

**If you’ve done any of the above, please leave a comment and let me know so I can count your entries. Deadline is March 19 at midnight PST.

image source: coverbrowser.com

Elizabeth Gilbert and (Ex) Husband Michael Cooper On Money

Elizabeth Gilbert, of course, is the best-selling author whose 2006 memoir Eat Pray Love vaulted her on to the Oprah Show, TED conference’s speaker schedule, and the inside of various magazines.

She recently came out with her second memoir, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, which combines a fascinating look on the ever-evolving institution of marriage along with her personal questions and doubts about matrimony. I went to Barnes & Noble and finished the book in 2 hours.

Part of the book focused on Gilbert’s hesitations about the financial underpinnings of marriage – she and her husband (the Brazilian gem-dealer “Felipe” in Eat Pray Love) decided to sign a prenuptial agreement. Gilbert admits that in the past, she had a habit of financially supporting the men in her live, including the checks she must still send to her husband (I assume this is alimony / spousal support as they do not have children).

Naturally, this peaked my interest about her former husband. So just for fun, I googled “Elizabeth Gilbert” and “ex husband” and found this:

1998 interview by NPR’s This American Life (click on 38:00)

In this interview, you can listen to Elizabeth Gilbert and former husband Michael Cooper talk about spending their $10,000 nest egg on a lovely small wedding instead of the backyard affair that Gilbert had originally envisioned). The interview begins with Gilbert and her then-husband Michael Cooper sharing a childhood story that illustrated their differing views on money – Gilbert grew up in a household of thrift and constantly worried about money, while Cooper was much laisserz-faire about the topic.

When they were about to get married, Gilbert’s parents gave them a $10,000 windfall. Originally, she wanted to have a simple backyard wedding, then save the $10,000 windfall for the start of a nest egg. Cooper wanted a nicer wedding. They fought and cried and fought. But after much consideration, Gilbert realized that she would regret never dancing at her wedding, and so she and Cooper decided to spend that $10,000 on their wedding. Gilbert concluded by saying she would redo the wedding “even if it had been $100,000″.

Six years later, the marriage between Elizabeth Gilbert and Michael Cooper would be over.

I wonder if money issues had anything to do with the demise of Gilbert’s first marriage, and if she ever regrets the loss of that $10,000. Or if, in the aftermaths of an acrimonious divorce, $10,000 would seem like a small price to pay. The cynic in me thinks the latter – after all, at least they had a nice party. That $10,000 divided by two plus years of inflation probably wouldn’t amount to much in 2010.

For Gilbert’s marriage to “Felipe”, the ceremony was held in their home, with only immediate family members (and the dog) present. “Felipe”, the groom, made food for the reception. Gilbert had to remind him to take off his apron before they spoke their vows.

This post was featured in the 2nd edition of Yakezie Carnival.

Free Copy of The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory

I love reading, and I (gulp) love buying books. As I’m in the process of decluttering for the New Year, I’m planning to give away a handful of books every once in a while – books that I’ve read, but that now it’s time to pass them on to someone else to enjoy. After all, books are meant to be read, loved and shared, no? icon smile Free Copy of The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory

Please note, these books aren’t new (I’ve read them!), but they are all in excellent condition.

Here is the first book to be given away, because why not ring in the New Year with a lush Tudor historical fiction?

The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory

theconstantprincess 197x300 Free Copy of The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory

A fictionalized story featuring the younger years of Katherine (Catalina), Infanta of Spain, Princess of Wales, and Queen of England. The book follows Katherine as she is shipped to England as a young girl of 15, to marry the Arthur, the Prince of Wales, and her years in England after his untimely death.

Throughout it all, she is sustained by her determination to fulfill her destiny, God’s will, and her mother’s wish: to become the Queen of England. Katherine is unwavering in her certitude: that there is nothing that men can do to take away what God has meant for her. Hardcover.

For a chance to win this book, please do the following for up to 5 entries per person:

  • 1 entry = tweet this giveaway with @WellHeeledBlog and a link to this post
  • 1 entry = become a fan on Facebook (trying to get to 25 fans so I can get a vanity URL. icon wink Free Copy of The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory )
  • 1 entry = sign up for RSS updates
  • 1 entry = blog about this giveaway
  • 1 entry = comment on this post about a book you recommend

**If you’ve done any of the above, please leave a comment and let me know so I can count your entries. Deadline is January 8 at midnight PST.

image source: coverbrowser.com

Get Financially Naked: Money, Relationships, Fun! + Win A Free Book

What, fun isn’t the first word you think of when you hear the phrase “money and relationships?” icon wink Get Financially Naked: Money, Relationships, Fun! + Win A Free Book So as I’ve alluded to on Twitter, I’m giving away something that’s educational AND romantic (and rated G).

If money is a source of contention in your relationship, or if you’re simply searching for a more structured framework with which to conduct important financial discussions with your significant other, then you should pick up a copy of the new book Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money With Your Honey by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.

getfinanciallynaked Get Financially Naked: Money, Relationships, Fun! + Win A Free Book

Get Financially Naked is a follow-up to their 2007 On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance. GFN is a short book, but it’s packed full of tips and worksheets to help you and your honey go through your financial beliefs, practices, and habits. The book also includes short pieces by Manisha and Sharon (and their husbands!) about their attitudes toward money and their relationships. Those were really interesting to read.

I’m not at a point yet where I’ll be merging finances with anyone, but CB and I do talk about money. Bottom-line: I would definitely recommend this book for any couple who is married, engaged, planning to get married, cohabiting, or planning on moving in together.

Thanks to Manisha and Sharon, I have 5 copies of this book to give away on this blog. I will also be hosting a Question & Answer session with the authors next week.

To enter the giveaway, please do one (or all!) of the following:

  1. 1 entry: Leave a comment here with a question for Manisha & Sharon to be featured on the Q&A.
  2. 1 entry: Follow me & tweet about it @wellheeledblog with this message: Want to talk money w/ your honey? @WellHeeledBlog is giving away 5 copies of Get Financially Naked here http://bit.ly/5kRu44.
  3. 1 entry: Subscribe to my RSS Feed (please leave me comment to let me know)
  4. 1 entry: Become a Fan on Facebook (please leave me comment to let me know)
  5. 1 entry: Write about this giveaway in your blog (please leave comment w/ URL to blog post).

Everyone person can have submit up to 5 entries. Deadline to enter is Thursday, December 10.

I’ll do a random drawing to come up with the winners, and announce the 4 winners and Manisha & Sharon’s answers to your questions next week.

image source: getfinanciallynaked.com

Review: Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel

secrets of a stingy scoundrel jacket art Review: Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel

Phil Villarreal is one consummate networker – his book Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel: 100 Dirty Little Money-Grubbing Secrets has been all over the personal finance blogosphere for the past couple of months. And he has achieved one mark of a true celebrity – protesters against his “moral decay” at a book signing!

villarreal01 Review: Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel

(signs the ladies are carrying from left to right: PHIL is Gross, MEAN AND just plain wrong!! —Greedy, Cheap and NO Morals!! —Phil—Have you NO Conscious? [sic] —WHAT Goes around…. comes around)

Ah, the sounds of sweet success.

Bottom-line: it’s a fun, sardonic, tongue-in-cheek look into the world of “extreme and over-the-top frugality / stingy scoundrel-ness”.

Phil offers information on

…clothing

  • If you’re looking for a book to teach you how to buy stylish clothes for cheap? This is NOT it.
  • If you’re looking for a book to teach you how to clothe yourself for free courtesy of credit card companies? This IS it.

…relationships and gift-giving

  • If you’re looking for tips on how to buy your girlfriend or husband the perfect present? This is NOT it.
  • If you’re looking for tips on how to minimize your gift-giving costs and extricate yourself from an unhappy relationship (and earn the ire of your SO’s friends)? This IS it.

…engagement rings and diamonds

  • If you’re looking for information on how to buy a beautiful diamond on a budget? This is NOT it.
  • If you’re looking for information how to pass off a cubic zirconia for a beautiful diamond? This IS it. (although if your girlfriend has already read the Stingy Scoundrel, you’re toast. Sorry!)

I’ve actually chatted with Phil for quite some time, and the answer to question: Does he really talk like he writes in Stingy Scoundrel? is Yes, yes he does. icon wink Review: Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel

Enjoy!

Virginia Woolf: Personal Finance Blogger?

If the incomparable Mrs. Woolf had grown up today, perhaps she would’ve been a personal finance blogger.

In fact, 80 years ago, Virginia Woolf wrote series of speeches that turned into a slim volume called A Room of One’s Own. Her writing is luminous, not at all like the dry and dull writing most people imagine financial expositions to be. But the ideas contained within that tiny little book have much in common with the personal finance bloggers and financial advocates of today.

Virginia Woolf is one of my favorite authors (I love Mrs. Dalloway), and discovering A Room of One’s Own (and reading it through a personal finance lens) just made me love her more.

In the book, Virginia Woolf posits that for a woman to achieve success in her art (a female Shakespeare, for example), she “must have money and a room of her own to write fiction.” I would argue that in fact, Virginia Woolf would have felt the same about any pursuit that requires creativity and dedication.

Women. Financial security. Freedom to pursue one’s art or ambition. Mrs. Woolf said it best, and she said it 80 years ago. But her central tenets are just as relevant today as they were in 1929.

We still need a room of our own.

A (Book)worm in the Big Apple

worm in apple A (Book)worm in the Big Apple

Tomorrow I will check out a few book stores. On my short-list are Idlewild Books and Three Lives. Otherwise, I’ll probably just walk around and pop into whatever store that catches my fancy.

I love books, and I love bookstores – old, new, big-chain, mom-and-pop. That’s why even though the Kindle has gotten rave reviews, I couldn’t quite bring myself to make the move to digital books. I like flipping the actual pages! And the feel of aged paper! And the book itself – a satisfying rectangular box that, once opened, can bring you into a different world.

Tomorrow, I’ll try hard not to buy too many books. But I figured one is okay. icon smile A (Book)worm in the Big Apple

One thing that I’ve noticed about New York is that it’s a city of readers, more so than Southern California – or at least NYC has many more public readers. I’ve seen people reading on the subway and in parks and it makes me feel so great to be in such a literary city. I think SoCal has its shares of readers too, but like everything else in that area, we are just much more dispersed.

I did see a driver reading an entire book on a freeway once. I hope to never see that again.

***And speaking of reading, the current Carnival of Personal Finance is up! Please mosey on over for a dose of scintillating personal financial literature.

My Last Duchess

Or, creepiest poem I’ve read.

That’s my last duchess painted on the wall,
Looking as if she were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now: Frà Pandolf’s hands
Worked busily a day, and there she stands.
Will’t please you sit and look at her? I said
“Frà Pandolf” by design, for never read
Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
The depth and passion of its earnest glance,
But to myself they turned (since none puts by
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I)
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst,
How such a glance came there; so, not the first
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, ’twas not
Her husband’s presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the Duchess’ cheek: perhaps
Frà Pandolf chanced to say “Her mantle laps
“Over my lady’s wrist too much,” or “Paint
“Must never hope to reproduce the faint
“Half-flush that dies along her throat”: such stuff
Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough
For calling up that spot of joy. She had
A heart how shall I say? too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.
Sir, ’twas all one! My favor at her breast,
The dropping of the daylight in the West,
The bough of cherries some officious fool
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
She rode with round the terrace all and each
Would draw from her alike the approving speech,
Or blush, at least. She thanked men good! but thanked
Somehow I know not how as if she ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name
With anybody’s gift. Who’d stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech which I have not to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, “Just this
“Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss,
“Or there exceed the mark” and if she let
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and make excuse,
E’en then would be some stooping; and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive. Will’t please you rise? We’ll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master’s known munificence
Is ample warrant that no just pretense
Of mine for dowry will be disallowed;
Though his fair daughter’s self, as I avowed
At starting, is my object. Nay we’ll go
Together down, sir. Notice Neptune, though,
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me!

He totally killed her. Basically, for smiling too much. And now he’s negotiating for another duchess. *Shudder*

Surrendering to salsa

A few years ago a book came out titled “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle. The book caught on very quickly due to its controversial premise, i.e. that the key to a happy marriage is for the woman to “surrender” to the designated head-of-household, the husband. This surrendering would also entail that the wife hand over all financial decisions to her husband.

I read so much about the book (alternately skewered and praised) in articles and op-eds that I had to read it just to see what the notoriety was about.  

Here’s a Publisher’s Weekly review on the book:  “[Doyle's]…main point is that when she criticized, nagged and tried to control her husband, the marriage suffered; but when she “surrendered,” letting him do things his way and make decisions for the family, he rose to the occasion, becoming a responsible and loving husband and making her feel protected and cared for.”

While I agree that overly-controlling wives spouses (after all, control issues can exist in men and women) aren’t good for a healthy marriage, I couldn’t agree with the book’s practical applications. Cede all financial decision-making authority?? A shudder crept up my spine when I read that part. I have to admit that that advice very likely biased me against the rest of the book. 

However, I have applied Ms. Doyle’s principles of, er, surrendering to another part of my life…

SALSA!

I’ve been taking classes weekly, and it’s truly one of the highlights of my week. A good salsa is like a great conversation – energetic, provocative, interesting, fun. I wonder how many classes I have to take before I am confident enough to go dance at a salsa club…

When I first started dancing, I had a tendency to anticipate choreographed steps . I’d get thrown off if the Lead improvises or does something differently than what the teacher had demonstrated. So instead of dancing WITH a partner, I was dancing TO a choreography.

Needless to say, dancing with a (good) partner is so more fun than memorizing steps. Now, I make a real effort to be more conscious of the Lead’s positioning and more responsive to his guidance.

You know what this means… if a couple does something wrong in salsa, it’s all the guy’s fault!

I’ve been fortunate to dance with some very good Leads in my classes, and a couple of not-so-great ones. The best part about dancing as a girl is the experience of dancing with a good Lead – someone who gently but firmly guides you through the moves so that you know exactly what you’re supposed to do, and you have enough time to display your own flair in the dance. 

When I danced with more experienced Leads, sometimes I do turns and crossovers and I don’t even know how I did them! When the Lead is good, the Follow looks great, and everything flows.  With all the emphasis on “leadership” in this world (ahem, bschools?!), I’m more than happy to “surrender” to the art of followership in this aspect of my life.

Besides, I’d much rather be a surrendered salsera than a surrendered wife. icon wink Surrendering to salsa

Just thought of this…

Has anyone realized the similarities between Tuck Everlasting and Twilight?

In both stories, a normal girl was falling in love with a boy who is immortal. In both stories, the girl had a chance to achieve immortality and live forever with her boy. In one case, the girl chose to live and die, away from the boy. In another, the girl chose to die and, er, become undead, forever with the boy. Even if you haven’t read the books, I’ve guessing you figured out which book is which.

I first read Tuck Everlasting as an elementary student. As a child, I was slightly disappointed that in the end Winnie didn’t drink from the fountain of youth and run away with Tuck. I suppose  Twilight is the darker, more twisted, and yet more fairy-tale-like take on immortality and young love.

In personal finance news, the newest Carnival of Finance is up! This is the first time I contributed in a looong time, but the Carnival is always good for checking out interesting posts from blogs that I might not be familiar with.

Last Twilight post

Okay – this will be my last Twilight detour, I promise!

(might have spoilers below)

So today I borrowed Twilight and Breaking Dawn from a girlfriend. I thought that Breaking Dawn seemed so convoluted that I didn’t really bother to read all of it, just enough to get the happily-ever-after, vampire-style. As a fast reader and a ruthless skimmer, I pretty quickly went through Twilight‘s 400+ pages.

Stephanie Meyers really hit on a captivating storyline – I was very intrigued by the whole premise of the Edward-Bella (vampire-human) love story. But all the way I keep thinking, I really wish there was more character development (at the risk of sounding like an English teacher), especially in Bella.

I can’t really understand the love story between Bella and Edward – why does she love him so much? How can we tell it’s different from teenage infatuation? She is intoxicated by his physical beauty, and is grateful that he protects her… but what else? The love story seems a little more believable from Edward’s standpoint, only because he’s had 90 years as a vampire to understand himself (and really, who knows about vampires? Meyers’ characterization can be just as right as anybody else’s) – but Bella? I get the chemistry, I get the attraction, I just see Bella’s feelings for Edward as more passionate infatuation than deep, abiding love.

To be fair, although Meyers didn’t go into much of what happens after Bella becomes a vampire, it’s conceivable how her passion for Edward could develop into long-lasting love – whether bound by their experiences as vampires, or that they now have a baby, or that they will grow old stay young and unnaturally beautiful together.

But then again, Romeo and Juliet didn’t have time to develop a great, lasting, deep and abiding love either. Obviously, in fiction, lasting love is not necessary for the makings of a Great Love.

The best love story I’ve seen in a long time, portrayed by Hollywood, actually comes from Up. The first part of the movie is the best – bring tissues. Because you will tear up. (I spent the first 15 minutes of the movie trying to hold back tears because I will not cry in an animated movie!)

Twilight, Twentysomethings, and the Paradox of Choice

I’ve never actually read the Twilight series. I skimmed a couple of the books at Barnes & Noble, but never quite dove in. Last night, however, I stayed up until 3AM watching Twilight the movie.

People enjoy Twilight for different reasons. For most, it’s the love story. After all, Bella and Edward make Romeo and Juliet look pedestrian – what’s some familial fighting compared to insatiable bloodlust? Romeo never wanted to desanguinate Juliet!

I think I’ve just discovered why Twilight speaks to me.

Not because of the vampire-human love story. But because of Bella’s certainty. She was certain that she wanted to be with Edward forever and she was certain she would become a vampire to be with him (I didn’t spoil anything, did I?). The best part of the fact that your boyfriend is a vampire? It’s only one decision. You will have to make one monumental decision (to become a vampire!) but afterward you’re done. You’ve decided your life. There is no room for second-guessing. Now all you have to do is to sit back, relax, and enjoy eternity with your undead beloved (and occasionally dabble in internecine vampire fighting).

Twentysomethings today, especially women, have been told from an young age that they can do anything. But the opportunity to do anything is, on the flip side, the pressure to do everything. There are no certainties about one’s path. No matter what decision you make, there will always be more. Like other young adults, I appreciate the freedom I have – I do. But sometimes the plethora of choices can prove exhausting.

This is the situation Barry Schwartz described in the Paradox of Choice (great video of Schwartz’s talk at the 2007 TED conference): choice is supposed to be the underpinning of individual automony and happiness, but having too many choices can cause 1. analysis paralysis and 2. dissatisfaction with the chioce you’ve made (it’s easy to imagine that you could’ve made a different choice that would be better).

Life is a matter of choice on all fronts – consumer choices, career, family, relationships. This is what 20s are like. You’re trying to get ahead, to be prepared, to make the best choices to set yourself up for happiness and success at home and at work. There are so many decisions, and by extension, so much room for second-guessing.

Sometimes I feel energized by the possibilities that are laid out before me. Other times, I find myself wishing for a little bit more certainty. It’s a feeling I expect I’ll have to work through – for the rest of my twenties and beyond. After all, no vampire is coming for this girl.

If you are what you read, what do your books say about you?

Here are the four books that I’ve been reading for the past week:

The Little Book of Common Sense Investing – John C. Bogle
Happiness, a history – Darrin M. McMahon
The Feminine Mistake – Leslie Bennetts
Madame Chiang Kai-Shek – Laura Tyson Li

I haven’t planned it that way, but I realized that each of my book selection says quite a bit about me, or at least where I am at this stage in my life.

According to my reading materials, I want to:

  • invest appropriately for my future by capturing my “fair share” of market returns (The Little Book of Common Sense Investing)
  • examine the issues surrounding work, motherhood, and economic independence (The Feminine Mistake)
  • ponder the concept of happiness and how it relates to my particular circumstances in this particular time period (Happiness, a history), and
  • be fascinated by fascinating women (Madame Chiang Kai-Shek)!

Quick, pick four books that you’ve purchased/borrowed – if you are what you read, what do they say about you?

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