Personal Finance + Savvy Living = Save for Tomorrow, Enjoy Today
Follow On TwitterI got a traffic ticket that has yet to be paid. It’s due next month.
Taxes. They are not going to get done until March.
Even though I know they are an interest-free loan to the government, I love receiving tax refunds.
If I can go back to middle school, I’d tell my younger self that life will get better.
I look around my apartment and I see at least $300 worth of purchases that I have never used before.
Today is my birthday. Which means that I have officially entered my “late-twenties.” To celebrate, we are going out to the local Cheesecake Factory where I will feast on one of my favorite desserts of all time (although that list is about 50 items long…): strawberry shortcake with fresh strawberries.
When I was in middle school, I read the novel Tuck Everlasting and first learned of the concept of immortality via magical spring water, I thought that 27 would be the perfect age to live forever. See, to a 12-year-old, 27 seems older to be respectable, but still young enough to be… young. But of course now I know that the only way to avoid growing old is dying young. (Also, no such magical spring exists).
I just took another look at my 30 by 30 goals lists I started 2+ years ago and realized time is-a-wastin’! I haven’t quite accomplished too many of those items on my list, but I am in the process to accomplishing a few. I am looking forward to my 27th year – this is the year I am going to get married to CB and have a wonderful honeymoon in Buenos Aires, (hopefully) get into a great business school, study Chinese in an immersion program, max out my Roth IRA for the 6th year, and gain a few more ounces of wisdom. In my 27th year, I am going to make a real push to fulfill some of these life goals on my 30 before 30 list as well financial goals that all good personal finance bloggers have.
But for now… as birthday present, would you take a look at this article I wrote Allstate’s blog and tweet or FB it? 
Life insurance hasn’t been on top of my mind, and I imagine that’s the case for many folks in their 20s and 30s. But getting married that makes me realize that soon I (and my income-generating ability) are going to be important to more than just myself.
Kevin at Thousandaire would say yes! (and in video form, too). Before I actually got engaged, I was a big proponent of prenuptial agreements. Throughout my childhood and teens, I’ve witnessed some rather unhappy marriages (fortunately, not my parents’). So I was quite hung-ho on getting a prenup and defining the financial terms if my marriage were to end. Well, now I am engaged to the man I’ve known for 10+ years, a supporter, a friend, a confidant, a partner. We are getting married in 8 months. Drafting an enforceable prenuptial agreement in California will cost thousands of dollars even for just-starting-out folks like us. Suddenly the issue is less theoretical and more practical. I still think that a prenup is important for many people with more assets, but we aren’t rich. In fact, we are going to be broke grad school students pretty soon. So, is a prenup for us?
The bottom line for us is, for the duration of the marriage -which is hopefully forever- we see whatever money we make as “our” money, no matter if he makes more or I make more. Furthermore, I cannot imagine CB behaving in an dishonorable manner. I’d like to think I would never behave that way either. I love him for his humor, his good looks, his kindness and quirks. But almost above all I love him for his character – he would have to become a whole different person for him to become bitter and spiteful. (Though of course, the nature of divorce means that people have changed, and often into someone unrecognizable to the other).
So, I don’t think we are going to get a prenup. Given all of the above considerations, I’d probably take the money we would have spent on a prenup and spend it on a big vacation instead! I hope our marriages lasts and lasts until one of us is called to the Big Gathering Place In The Sky. But baring that, I trust that we will both try our hardest to remain civil and amicable even if we were to separate. I believe we will be good partners to each other, and if we fail at that, I believe we can be good ex-spouses. It’s probably not a terribly romantic way of arriving at what is the “more-romantic” decision to not have a prenup, but it works for us.
The price of gold has grown by leaps and bounds over the past couple of years. In fact, this precious metal is sitting pretty at $1,800 per ounce right now, compared to $1,000 per ounce two years ago and $1,400 per ounce six months ago.
Many folks with old gold jewelry have already cashed out their cache of necklaces, bracelets, and rings. The ever-higher prices are sure to tempt those who haven’t.
My grandmother gave me some pieces before she fell ill – a gold bangle, a few old coins, a chain. She grew up in a wealthy family and these jewels were part of a much larger dowry. During a civil war in her home country, she dumped loads of precious gems into the rivers so that her family wouldn’t be lynched by the mobs. Sometimes, I imagine what treasures must lie at the bottoms of these rivers, covered with decades of mud and silt. These few gold and silver items were all that my ancestors managed to save, all at enormous personal risk.
I am not normally sentimental about jewelry, and her jewelry certainly aren’t really my taste (nor do I have use for such nice pieces). The rational thing to do would be to take advantage of the historic run-up in gold prices, send in the bangle and chain for cash, and then maybe use the money for graduate school. Somehow the rational thing feels like the wrong thing to do. I don’t need the money desperately, and I like the fact that I have something that is a piece of my family’s history. It makes me sad to think of the jewelry, so carefully protected and hidden, melted down. So, for now, I am holding on to everything.
After finally settling on a wedding date in June 2012 and deciding on a small wedding with a guest list of 30 or so, I started signing contracts and putting down deposits. Here are the costs so far:
We are getting married in a public building. Because all the venue has incredible architectural details and built-in seating, we don’t need any decorations or chair rentals. In fact, we might even get some of this money back if we leave the site in good condition. I have wanted to get married at this place even before I got engaged, and may have even looked up how much it would cost.
I actually found my photographer via an ad I posted on Craigslist. We loved her portfolio, had a great Skype meeting with her, and booked her for 4 hours. She recently started doing wedding photography full-time and has a beautiful blend of photojournalistic and portrait pictures. This lady is going jump out of our price range very soon, if she hasn’t already. I know it can be hit or miss finding someone on Craigslist, but I wouldn’t have booked her if I didn’t do my due diligence, so I am hopeful that things go well.
While I was wandering around a Nordstrom Rack 10 minutes before closing, I spied a long column of ivory lace. It was a completely spur of the moment purchase, but when I tried it on at home, I saw that it fits really well. It satisfies all of my criteria: it’s lace, it’s budget-friendly (all right, downright cheap!), and, if I may say so myself, it’s quite flattering. This material is also light weight, which was important to me because I want to be able to navigate easily from my seat to the cake table.
This fee is applicable towards the price of food and drinks at the reception. It’s a quaint French place, and normally those places aren’t exactly to CB’s taste, but he really liked the meal we had here so we booked as well. I was won over when I saw coq au vin on the menu.
Now that all the important vendors and sites have been secured, and I have a rough budget in mind (under $6,000), I am feeling so much better about this whole process. I can tell that we’ve underestimated certain items – $1,200 for food and drinks won’t cut it, but we are saving on other things so I hope it will all balance out. Sometimes, I find my attention drifting towards what type of flowers I’d like have to what cakes we are going to bring for the dessert table. So, I suppose, wedding planning can be (kind of) fun.
What is something we are obligated to do but that almost everyone dreads? Some of you might say taxes, but I say - jury duty.
In my BlogHer post on the Financial Impact of Jury Service, I crunched numbers for two hypothetical scenarios – a self-employed contractor and a stay-at-home mom. Even with a relatively short 5-day trail, the cost of jury service can quickly escalate into the hundreds or thousands.
I understand it is a civic obligation. I understand it is essential to our justice system. I understand that it’s a great opportunity to see how our justice system works – from the inside. But the financial impact of jury duty – coupled with its uncertainty (i.e. you never know at the beginning of a trial exactly how long a trial will last) – really puts a damper on most people’s desire to serve.
For many small business owners or self-employed folks, jury duty means they are up the proverbial creek without a paddle. The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not require employers to pay employees their regular compensation during jury service. Even if your company pays for jury duty, you may still have to go after hours to complete your work (a gentleman I met in line at the courthouse informed me that at his last trial, he had to serve during the day and then head to his office after 5pm to catch up on all the work he had). Or, you may have to use vacation days / paid time off if you want to be paid your salary during service.
Check it out and let me know what you think. Would better compensation and/or tax breaks make you more willing to serve on a jury?
In the best of times, it’s tough being unemployed. Today, unemployment is long, discouraging, and financially devastating experience for many Americans. As I read the newspaper and hear talking heads discuss the jobs market and the economy at large, though, I am struck by the fact that most of the conversations glides over the 9.1% unemployment rate; the plight of the individual seem to be missing from the national discourse.
It’s as if… most of the us has moved on. The ones who kept their jobs or found jobs after the 2008-2009 period are busy working, and the ones who didn’t watched the number of their remaining unemployment checks dwindle. To add insult to injury, unemployed folks are not considered an influential voting bloc, so politicians don’t have an incentive to even count the them as an important constituent.
Are we forgetting the unemployed Americans? The unemployment rate dropped to a still sky-high 9.1%, partly because many folks have simply given up hope of finding a job in a dismal market. In fact, the percentage of Americans who are working is the lowest in almost 30 years – only 45% of people over 16 are had a job in 2010. The 99 weeks of unemployment insurance has run out for a lot of people, leaving them to get burn through their savings, cash out retirement funds, move in with family members, or taking early Social Security payments.
Now, unlike in 2008 and 2009, the massive layouts seem to have ended (knock on wood). I remember that several of my friends were laid off in those years. One girl I knew was out of a job for 18 months. I remember the frustration and self-doubt after I went on interview after interview without an offer. Fortunately, though, my friends and I found jobs again.
But what about those people who didn’t find jobs? The longer you are unemployed, the more difficult it is regain employment. Many recruiters and HR managers prefer currently working or recently-employed candidates. Workers lose skills, confidence, and contacts the longer they have been out of the market. If you are older than 55, the cards are even more stacked against you.
I don’t know what the exact prescription is, but I think we need to do more to help our unemployed folks, especially the long-term unemployed.
For the past few weeks, I’ve put personal finances on the backburner. I don’t check my accounts as frequently, I forgot to pay one of my bills (oops!), and I just happened to stop by an outlet one day and stepped out $50 poorer – but one stylish maxi dress, 3 ramekins, and 1 cake pan richer.
To make up for this lackluster feeling, I did schedule a $300 contribution to my 2011 Roth IRA. I suppose that’s a start. I also picked up a new wallet for my dad, and per CB’s instructions, will put in a one dollar bill when I give Dad the present. Apparently, it is bad luck to gift someone an empty wallet.
To snap myself out of this, for the lack of a better word, funk, I have decided to apply to a volunteer position at a local free clinic. I’m also planning on looking for a few classes to audit, or embark on some self-study courses. Since I have been out of college, I feel that my study abilities have gone steadily down hill. Even though I am obviously using critical and analytical thinking at work, I miss that feeling of being in class and really delving into a subject.
Wait until I’m in grad school… then I shall look at this post and laugh.
A few weeks ago, when I was hanging out at a Starbucks a man came in. He had a big duffel bag and a suitcase, and has obviously been out on the street for a while. I asked him if he would like something to drink and eat, and he said yes, in a surprised tone. He said he’d like Venti Pike coffee and an apple fritter. It cost me $4.50. He asked for the receipt so he can keep track of the time.
He was nice and articulate and thanked me kindly for helping him out.
A few days ago CB and I saw him again, sitting on a bench. He wasn’t panhandling, wasn’t calling attention to himself. I thought about buying him something at Starbucks again, but figured he’d appreciate cash the most. So I just kind of slipped by him and said it was nice to see him again and handed him the $15 I had in my wallet. This person reminded me of another homeless gentleman I’ve seen before, a few years ago, in a completely different part of town. I never did make an overture to that man or tried to help him, and I’ve always felt a little bad about it.
Back to now… I did something nice, you could say. But did I do him a favor by buying him the drink and the snack, or did he do me a favor by letting me assuage my guilt with an almost inconsequential sum? I had a home to go back to, he doesn’t. Why?
My biggest financial news for June is that I’ve hit $16,500 in contributions to the 401K. I am happy that I’ve done so, but for the most part I don’t really feel much difference in my net pay. Once I maxed out the 401K, I zeroed out my W-4 deductions and set up automatic deposits from my checking account to my Roth IRA. Basically, I need to keep as little money as I need to live on in my actual checking account.
To celebrate, I did pick up a few pieces of clothing from a sample sale site. Most of the time, though, I’ve been feeling a little like Hi That’s My Bike. So many questions right now – about life, career, purpose, meaning, how do I get from point A to point B if I am not really sure what point B is and how do I enjoy the journey between point A and point B if I am so worried on figuring out what point B should be. I suspect there is no magic answer rabbit that I can pull out of the proverbial hat. Unfortunately.
Wedding planning, even for 20 people, is getting a wee bit annoying. I suppose I care more than I thought but not so much to really put so much money and effort into it. All of this translates to: we don’t even have a date. Eloping is look so tempting right now.
It’s times like these when I so wish I can just strap on a pair of tango shoes and hit the dance floor. But I’ve been battling an ankle injury for over six months now, and while I am healing it’s still very frustrating that it’s not 100%. So no tango for a while, which adds to my malaise.
Back to the 401K. It’s great. But it’s no answer for the Question That Is Life.
When it comes to “investment clothing” or “investment pieces.”
According to dictionary.com, the first definition of “investment” is:
the investing of money or capital in order to gain profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.
The fashion world love touting the idea of “investment” clothes or an “investment” wardrobe. Every season, editors rave about new “investment pieces” or “statement looks.” Want some Louboutins? They are an investment in your shoe collection! How about an Armani suit? An investment in looking professional! An Hermes purse? An investment accessory!
Don’t get me wrong, I agree that we should have classic, high-quality pieces that will last us through at least three or five years – cheap rayon shirts and skirts do not a wardrobe make. I agree that we should buy what we love, instead of what’s on sale. I agree that having well-fitted and appropriate clothing is absolutely essential to many careers. There is nothing wrong with buying beautiful clothes (I love clothes and would probably spend far more money on them if I could!), but it’s wrong to call shopping an investment.
Most of the time the idea of an “investment piece” is used to convince us to buy really, really, expensive items that have no prospect of appreciating in value. A Bottega Veneta handbag is absolutely stunning, but I think it’s going a wee bit far to call it an investment. There are a few luxury brands that hold their value well (Chanel, Hermes come to mind), but they are the exception rather than the rule.
Like most ladies I know, I admire well-constructed jackets, supple leather purses, stylish little black dress. I may even buy an expensive piece that goes perfectly with everything else in my wardrobe. I may even buy an expensive dress that I plan to keep for the next ten years. All that is great, but that doesn’t mean I’ve made an investment.
I feel like a curmudgeon, because who doesn’t like beautiful clothes that fit and flatter? But as personal finance expert Manisha Thakor says, clothing is not an investment!
Globe and Mail recently came out with an article about the true cost of being a singleton. (By the way, I just recently discovered Globe and Mail. I love it!). It seems a little unfair to me how the world is structured for couples, but I will take my breaks where ever I can get them.
I do think there is a slight distinction in between in a relationship and living together vs. being in a relationship and living apart. Most of the benefits accrued to coupled people are because they live together, in fact, as anyone in a long-distance relationship will tell you, being in love and apart can get expensive, fast.
Since CB and I started living together, here are the few ways that our relationship has saved me money.
In the few years since I graduated college, I have gone through several living arrangements. I’ve lived with a roommate, lived by myself, and now am sharing an apartment with a significant other. Living with CB means that we can split the groceries, DSL, utilities, and rent. I am paying about $300 less than I would be if I were to live alone. The biggest benefit I see to cohabitation is the fact that two married / partnered people can live in a studio or one-bedroom apartment, an arrangement that wouldn’t be possible with roommates. A one-bedroom apartment is quite a bit cheaper than a two-bedroom. There’s also the sharing of resources that occurs: two people living together don’t need two separate internet connections or Netflix accounts or cable subscriptions.
We made the decision to live together because it made sense for our relationship (I think most people would agree that moving in solely for financial reasons isn’t the best idea), but it’s a big perk that living together is so good for our budgets.
One of the best things about coupling up, I think, is that you will always have a good travel buddy. Given how busy everyone is, I have a hard enough time scheduling dinners with my friends. It’d be 1000x more difficult to plan a big, expensive trip that matches everyone’s tastes and schedules (I am still a little sad that our girls’ cruise 2009 never happened). I can travel alone, but I’m the kind of person where I’d have much more fun and I’d feel safer if I am going with someone else. Plus, if I go on a big trip by myself, it would be very, very expensive.
The dreaded single supplement is alive and well. Most travel prices are quoted with double occupancy, which means that if I were to go alone, my best choices are to hope for a good roommate or to fork over the extra dough for a private room. The Galapagos cruise we are saving up for, for example, costs around $4,000-$5,000 per person. A single supplement would add another $1,000 to the total price.
I actually am not sure if I am saving money in this regard, but if I cook more, I can buy in bulk. It doesn’t cost double the price to cook for two people than it does for one. I will admit that being in a relationship has prompted me to eat out more though – there’s always a willing dining buddy in CB!
A few months ago I wrote about a lady who spends $10,000+ a year on dating and related purchases. So I don’t have that pressure of looking fabulous every single minute of every day – which I take advantage of, liberally (sorry CB!). Still, I’m pretty sure that my personal care and grooming expenses are what they would be if I were single. Most of the “beautifying” things I do (facials, pretty dresses, lipstick) are for myself – because, well, I want to look good! And this might not be politic to admit, but I hope CB never thinks I’ve “let myself go,” so I try to do what I can to look moderately attractive for us both. At least a few days a week!
But I don’t spend $10K on dating activities when I’m coupled, and I don’t foresee increasing my “dating budget” much even if I were single (although, to be honest, I would probably spring for an online dating membership).
This is an area where being in a relationship definitely costs couples more. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, etc., all these holidays and “milestone” occasions add up, also, don’t forget the “just because” gifts that can add to the relationship goodwill. But, in the case of giving gifts to a 3rd party, I suppose couples have the opportunity to go dutch on a gift, effectively splitting the cost in half.
Photo credit: Miss Claeson via Flickr
An LA Times article just reported that the drop in birth rates in the U.S. is the biggest in 30 years, with the exception of births to women over 40.
The report found:
- Birth rates fell for all women except those 40 and older.
- The birth rate for women ages 20 to 24 was the lowest ever recorded for that age group: 96.3 per 1,000. That’s a 9% drop from 2007 to 2009.
- Among ethnic groups, the biggest drop was seen in Latino women, a 9% decline.
- Birth rates fell the most in the West and Southwest. Arizona and Nevada saw a decline of 10% or more.
- Fewer families are having more than two children. Almost 75% of births in 2009 were first or second births.
Some of my friends and I have started talking about things like this. We are all smart young women who understand the research and science behind fertility. We know that most of the times, it’s much easier to conceive naturally and problem-free in your 20s than later. We also know that we are not ready to become mothers, and the trajectory of our careers might prelude having kids until our mid-30s, or later.
I think I would eventually like one child, and the easiest way (for most people) to get such a child would be to conceive one naturally. But if that doesn’t work out for us I wouldn’t be opposed to looking into adoption, or further delaying the process (probably to save up $$$ for said adoption).
In conversations sometimes CB and I would talk about “our baby,” how we would raise him/her, what type of cringe/trauma-inducing names we would give, how we can teach the baby to become a math genius who speaks 3 languages, and how good-looking our baby will be (because most kids from interracial couples I’ve seen are drop-dead gorgeous!)
It’s fun, this game, but it’s fun because it is ONLY a game right now.
It would be impossible for CB and I to handle the responsibilities of a newborn right now and pursue our respective career/educational goals. It’s a fact, however, that while I am not financially, emotionally, or career-wise in a place when I would consider becoming a mother, my body is probably at the height of its capacity to make me one.
Unfortunately, there is no test to determine a woman’s fertility before she starts trying and then conceives (or fails to). Trust me, I asked my doctor. As a planner by nature, I thought that surely modern medical science can give us something more than the bare general statistics. But nope, my doctor informed me, you don’t know until you try. Which seems to be an incredibly inefficient way of doing such things!
I think I would perhaps like to be a mother one day – mostly because I have a good relationship with my mother and I admire her so much, and I can only imagine how cool it’d be to have a kid with whom I can have that similar bond (and have my child think I’m pretty kick-ass).
But I don’t have my heart set on being a biological parent. So I am fine with living my life and letting the biological chips fall where they may in 8 or 10 years. Maybe I am naive, but I am surprisingly sanguine about the possibility of not being a birth mom. And for that, I am grateful. My choices are easier.
For women who are very set on becoming a biological mother but who are also pursuing career and financial success, however, I imagine it must be more difficult to strike the right balance.
How do you deal with it?
I don’t know what it is – maybe life has just been really predictable. During the day working hard to bring in business and crunch the numbers, at night frantically trying to meet freelance deadlines, on weekends trying to avoid the impulse buys at the Anthropologie, Sephora, TJ Maxx, and Nordstrom Rack nearby. Rinse repeat. Sometimes I feel like my brain is one giant vacuum when it comes to good personal finance blogging.
There is one big potential blogging material on the horizon. Last night, CB and I went to a jewelry store to get my finger sized, and I tried on a few diamond bands that I liked. One band I liked had 0.04 carat of diamonds and was the thinnest ring I’ve never seen. It looks like a tiny band of light. It STILL cost $400, and the diamonds lost their luster as soon as the saleslady took it out of the lighting display case for me to try.
I’ve been thinking about what type of wedding I’d like to have, and what type of ring, and what dress I’d like to wear. And of course, about the budgets relating to all these decisions. Constrained by some (misdirected?) sense of decorum, however, I don’t want to blog about wedding planning until I am actually engaged.
Who knew I was so old-fashioned? 
So the personal finance rut continues.
But in the meantime, I’m laughing my head off with these sites:
Damnyouautocorrect.com
failblog.com
regretsy.com
PSDisasters.com (photoshop disasters!)
I looked at an old post of mine from August 2007, when I had $11,400 saved for retirement. I was so excited that my fund balance broke into the “five digits”!
Now, I am aiming for my retirement accounts to break into the six figures by the middle of next year. My current balance is somewhere in the neighborhood of mid-$70,000, so I have some work to do, but if the markets hold steady and I max out every retirement vehicle I can, I have a shot. I was feeling pretty good about my progress, until I stumbled upon a 2006 CBS News article that said:
According to a number of experts and a recently released study by Fidelity Investments, assuming you are looking to retire at age 65 and earn an average income, by the time you are age 30, you should have accumulated 1 to 2 times your annual pay in retirement savings…
Ay ya aye! I have a few more years until I hit the big 3-0, but I don’t think the 2x annual income goal is going to happen for me.
My love-hate relationship with lifestyle designLike most people, I want to become a better person and a happier person (ah the great American ideal of self-improvement is alive and well!). So my Google Reader is full of personal development blogs. In the past few years, lifestyle design have become a huge niche in that sphere. A few nights ago Krystal of Give Me Back My Five Bucks and Clare at Never Niche and I got into a conversation over Twitter – about work, passion, and the rise of the lifestyle design blogs. And that conversation clarified some of the mixed feelings I have on those blogs.
On the one hand, I love the idea of lifestyle design – I want to design a life that matches my priorities and values, I want to live with intention. Many of the lifestyle design blogs I’ve read are inspiring and interesting, and many of them have good tips and tools. Besides, I truly admire people who are going after their dreams.
On the other hand, some of these blogs are full of egregious self-promotion and barely disguised disdain for any other kind of lifestyles. The theme seems to be: if you are not (1) starting your own business in social media, web design, or personal coaching, (2) working in Thailand, Bali or another developing country with a low cost of living, and (3) spending money on lifestyle design e-books and e-courses, then you must be too scared, stupid, and naive to grasp your One True Passion. Oh, and your soul will wither and die.
I also hate the fact that the default definition of lifestyle design – which sounds like a concise and elegant way to describe “living with intention” – is “I am going to be on permanent travel selling e-books and information products (with limited time offers and modules and super value-add bonuses!).”
Conventional has a negative connotation in the language of lifestyle design – it is a catch all for “average,” for “complacent,” for “ordinary.” Conventional people are unsuccessful mice who are too afraid to change their lives, or even worse, they are deluded saps who doesn’t even know what they are missing. Who wants to be ordinary when you can “hack” or “test” your way to extraordinary, epic, radical, and awesome FREEDOM!?
I say that in jest, sort of. The truth is, I am envious of people who have figured out exactly what they want their life to be and have pursued that with passion (either that, or they are doing a great job faking it). I just wish they cut out the smugness for the rest of us.
Being OK with not wanting what these lifestyle design bloggers want doesn’t mean that I am lying to myself. If I am truly honest with myself, I know: I am wary of taking on very big financial risks. I don’t want to live in Thailand and work on a beach all day. I write a blog because I enjoy it, and my hourly income is somewhere in the neighborhood of fast food and retail. (Monetizing a blog is hard work – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). I want to go to business school. I want a career that is interesting and financially rewarding, but it will still be work. I want to live near my parents when they reach their 70s. I want a nice house. I want a few rental properties to supplement my cash flow. I want to travel, but I plan to have a home base. I want a dog. I want to marry the man I met in high school.
As you can see, my aspirations are quite middle-of-the-road. The fact that I have a corporate job, I have an apartment, and I have more than 3 pairs of shoes certainly doesn’t mean that I look into the mirror and see “dark, hollowed eyes match the dark, hollowed soul that once was a vibrant, enthusiastic one, looking forward to all of life’s gifts.” This isn’t an attack on Nina. She has written some thought-provoking stuff, and she seems like a pretty cool person. But the sentiment that “if you are not doing what I’m doing then you are a dead shell of a person” is a prevalent one among lifestyle design bloggers, and that frankly irritates the heck out of me.
I can’t make $97,000 traveling through Latin America. I certainly don’t make this money charging a $20/month VIP subscription to read about how I make money. Again, this isn’t an attack on Ash. I respect anyone who can make six figures selling and hustling in Chile and has the time to drink wine during afternoons. I respect people who have found work that makes them happy and fulfilled. I respect people who work hard for what they have and I believe that lifestyle bloggers who make a living at this work very hard. We all work hard.
But am I a dunce because I have a long commute, I have long travels and I take client calls at 5am on Saturday mornings? (Wait, do I really want to hear the answer to this? ). I think I can learn from lifestyle design bloggers, which is why I still read their blogs. Call me crazy, but I am getting just the tiniest inkling that the respect’s not mutual. Hence the hate part of my love-hate relationship.
The bottom line is that like most of the population, I do not have goals that consist of getting rid of 95% of my stuff, living in a developing country and selling e-courses on teaching people how to do the same. If that’s what someone wants to do, he/she should absolutely go for it. Regale us with stories, tell us about your struggles, teach us what you’ve learned. But please, please, don’t be a jerk about it.
For more on posts that capture my love-hate relationship with lifestyle design blogs, see ones by Studenomics, Michael Corayer, and Early Retirement Extreme.
photo by DanBrady via Flickr
I came upon a blogger, Morrison at All Doors Considered, who said that she cultivates “an aura of wealth” so successfully that all her friends think she makes $200K when she has never made more than $50K in her life.
For years, I have always projected an image of wealth and success. But the bottom line is correct. My husband and I never really earned more than $50K per year. Ever. Yet, we have always given the false projection that we earn more by living a $100K lifestyle. I thought it was due to my unique marketing talents and savvy buying capabilities that helped fuel our lifestyle projection (emphasis mine). And it is. Apparently I was doing a fantastic job creating our image.
Hat tip to Grace at GRACEful Retirement for linking to her post.
This brings me to an interesting question:
One of the great things about America, I think, is that the way you look might be very different from your actual economic status. Which is to say that it’s hard to make snap judgments about people, even if you see the clothes they wear, the house they live in, or the cars they drive. So why try so hard to convince people of a certain “image” when that image is not very reliable to begin with? I know people who have cashed out their companies for a million and they look like regular Joe Schmoe walking down the street.
As far as my lifestyle projection goes, my goal at work is to look smart and put-together, and I’d like my home to be stylish and comfortable. While both of those “images” are easier to construct with money (if all else fails, you can hire professional stylists and decorators if you have the financial resources), I think they can be achieved on smaller budgets as well.
That’s not to say I don’t enjoy having nice things. Of course I do. I have my favorite brands and indulgences (ahem, spa treatments), but I’d like to think that those things are for myself, and not really for any image of wealth that I need to project to the outside world. In fact, wouldn’t it be depressing to make people think you are richer than you actually are? That’s one reason why I never carry knock-off items – there is nothing satisfying, to me, in making people believe I have a Louis Vuitton bag when I am not carrying an LV.
My parents, on the other hand, are probably the quintessential “millionaires next door.” They look much less well-off then you’d expect them to be. If you saw where they live, or the cars they drive (my mother’s car is even older than mine), or the way they dressed, you would never expect that their income bumps along the $200,000 mark, or that they have several rental properties, or that they accumulated their net worth after starting their careers in their late 30s. They spend on what they need and what they value (good education, medical care, etc.), not to impress anyone else. And that’s pretty fantastic to me.
Photo by Mike_Fleming via Flickr
To lend money today loansavailable.com will provide a fast cash loan.
Need some quick cash? paydayloans.org.uk can help with a short term loan
Coupon Croc for money saving coupons
Coupons for
2,000+ Stores!
HomeownersAge 62+:
Get the facts about a reverse mortgage.
Recent Comments