Spending | Well Heeled Blog

Spending Goal: $2,000 On My Wardrobe in 2012

Written by WellHeeled on January 5, 2012 · 30 Comments

Most of personal finance is about how to earn, save, and invest money. Yet, spending money with intention is just as important.

Bottom line, I don’t think there should be guilt associated with responsible spending. That is why I have made a goal of spending $2,000 in 2012 on something that is important to me: a wearable, chic, cohesive wardrobe. The $2,000 will cover everything related to editing, building, and refining my wardrobe, including alterations, shoe inserts, bag repairs, jewelry and accessories, etc. I am going to try to limit myself to $150/month, and have a month or two when I can make an extra purchase if I want – such as when I head to Buenos Aires, Argentina in June.

My favorite stores include Banana Republic, Gap, J. Crew, Nordstrom Rack, and TJ Maxx. I also check out sample sites Ideeli and Rue La La quite a bit. Before I make any purchases online, I go through Ebates so I can get 2%-5% cash back on my purchases. That money goes into my Funny Money account. I am a consummate sales shopper who tries really hard to look for at least a 50% discount on the original retail price before I pluck down my credit card. That’s how I am confident that I can get attire that is of good quality (wool, silk, and leather, fully-lined, etc.) at fairly reasonable prices. But at my planned spending limit, Louboutins are definitely out.

Why spending goals are important

When I first started blogging, and even to this day, there’s a level of guilt associated with buying things for myself – things that are not considered “necessary” or “important” (i.e. non-educational items). But we all make money to spend it – what matters is how we spend and on what we spend. And the only right answers to those questions, of course, is responsibly and joyfully and things that we value. With a spending goal, I can structure my expenses so that they are guilt-free, planned, and carefully considered. If I didn’t have spending goals, I may very well STILL spend $2,000 on clothes and shoes. But my purchases wouldn’t be nearly as fun or as planned.

(Also, a confession: I’ve tried to try (and like) the minimalist thing, and I decided that there is a difference between my 3 black wool sheaths, and I do need a 4th. Oops!)

Do you have spending goals for 2012?

Categories: Budget, Goals, Shopping, Spending

Things That Will Cost More in 2012

Written by WellHeeled on December 29, 2011 · 9 Comments

I know I am getting old(er) when I start saying things like “I can’t believe I can’t get a pair of wool pants for $25 anymore!” or “I remember when movies were just $5 a ticket!”. New year, new pricing increases, so I found this article: 11 things that will be more expensive in 2012 from Deal News pretty interesting. Can you guess what’s on the list?

The #1 item on the list is airfare – domestic and international. Because of fuel costs and increased regulatory fees, flying is going to become a more expensive proposition for all of us. According to American Express, prices within North American will increase up to 5% for economy and 7% for business class. I’m not surprised, but for someone who loves to fly, this is a big bummer. I probably have spent a few thousand dollars on flying in 2011 – nothing fancy, but traveling on a short notice (ahem business school visits) can really up the fares. I’ve paid as high as $600 for a cross-country round-trip. Won’t lie, that one definitely hurt.

In 2012, I expect to be spending a fair amount on airfare as well. But I’m hoping that with judicious application of co-branded credit cards, I can subsidize my air travel. For example, our honeymoon flight to Buenos Aires is going to be under $500 for the two of us. Quite proud of that one, I am.

The other items on the More Expensive List:

#2 new digital cameras
#3 hard drives
#4 desktop computers
#5 food for home preparation
#6 mobile device data plans
#7 city-enforced fees
#8 water
#9 gas
#10 gold
#11 shipping

To this list, I’d add a few items of my own:

#12 movie tickets – it costs studios more and more money to produce the big-budget blockbusters that are guaranteed to pack theaters, and so ticket prices are sure to climb as well. 3-D movies also add an additional $3-$5 on top of regular movie tickets. Right now it costs $11-$12 for an evening ticket, and the ONLY reason CB and I are still avid movie goers is because we can buy $7.50 tickets from Costco.

#13 clothes – the price of cotton has been going up for a couple of years, in addition, the costs of labor and transportation have also increased. You know these higher costs of production will be absorbed by consumers in the form of higher prices.

#14 tuition – college, graduate school, you name it, and the prices are probably going up. In fact, the Cal State trustees just approved to raise tuition by 9% for 2012. When I look at the Tuition & Costs page of business schools, all the figures have a disclaimer that goes something like this “costs typically increase 3%-5% per year.”

Take a look at the list and let me know what you find most distressing. What would you add?

Categories: Economy, Spending - Tags: retail industry

Weird Saving Tricks I Use

Written by WellHeeled on December 20, 2011 · 20 Comments

Do you use weird saving tricks? We’ve heard of all the normal ones: automatic deduction from your paychecks, setting aside 10% of your income for retirement, putting your tax refund into your savings account, blah blah blah. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about the idiosyncratic and really strange little mental tricks you play on yourself so you can squeeze out a few extra dollars of savings here and there. In fact, I have a specially named sub-account for savings from these weird tricks - I call it my Funny Money account.

Here are some of my weird saving tricks:

When I make brunch at home, I put away $15-20 (what it would have cost us to go out to eat). Last weekend, we somehow managed to cook at home not once but twice, so $40 went from my bank account to the Funny Money Fund on Monday. We eat out at brunch way too often, and the funny thing is that brunch is my favorite meal to make, at a time -weekends- when I have time to make it.
When I make a return (a dress that I just couldn’t make work, or shoes that don’t fit right), I take the money I get back and I put it in a savings account. Impulse buys, thou shalt not get the best of me!
When I get a gift card as a present or as a bonus from credit cards, I try to put 1/2 of the face value into my savings account.
When I stay at a hotel for free because of points redemption, I save $10-$40 depending on how expensive the hotel was.
When I window-shop and I make the (frankly very difficult) decision to NOT buy that perfect pair of stacked suede heels or mirrored jewelry box with velvet lined interior, I put the money I would have spent into the Funny Money Account.

I use these little tricks because saving is just as much mental and emotional as it is mathematical. I know I am a spender trapped in a saver’s body – it’d be way too easy for me to overspend if I don’t put a few safeguards in place. So I have the big ones such as 401K deductions, but I also try to make it a fun game for myself and make sure that when I DO overcome those impulse buys or get lucky with gift cards or free stays, I put away a little something too. If the money is just swimming around in the checking account, I know I’m going to spend it.

Do you have any weird saving mind tricks you use?

Categories: Saving, Shopping, Spending - Tags: consumer behavior

3 Tips for Meaningful and Personalized Gift Card Presents

Written by WellHeeled on December 15, 2011 · 7 Comments

Gift cards can save your life. How? You may ask. Well, there are now officially 10 days until Christmas. Are you done with your holiday shopping? I am not. In fact, I have not even started. And every day that Christmas creeps close is another day that I don’t want to go into the malls and fight over the picked-over displays of rejected items. Even though I may be a very bad procrastinator when it comes to gift-giving, I still want to give something that is of value and interest to my friends and family. The answer, ladies and gentlemen, is “Gift Card.”

I know, I know, many people think gift cards or gift certificates are impersonal. Others say, why not just give cash? But personally, I love receiving and giving gift cards. It’s an enforced way of spending on yourself (you can always save cash, and although you can also sell gift cards online, I’d imagine most people are more inclined to spend it instead). So here are my 3 easy tips for giving meaningful, personalized gift cards that will be used, enjoyed, and appreciated.

1. Get a gift card at a place the recipient likes to eat, shop, or visit. Might seem obvious, but don’t get your friend a gift card to Outback Steakhouse if he is a vegetarian. If your sister loves arts and crafts, a gift card to Michael’s is a great gift. If a friend loves to go to the Cheesecake Factory, a gift card will go a long way in satisfying his penchant for sweets. Book lovers will love a gift card to Barnes & Noble. Spa lovers will love gift certificates to a local spa. Disney lovers will love anything Disney (gift cards especially!). If a friend likes movies, electronics, games, etc., it’s hard to go wrong with Best Buy. If you can’t decide, go for high-impact gift cards that most people will use: places like Target or Amazon, etc.

2. Give an amount where the recipient can get something without spending too much (if any) of his/her own money. In other words, adjust your gift card amount to the retailer’s prices. A $10 gift card to Starbucks, for example, makes perfect sense. A $10 gift card to Neiman Marcus will get bubkus unless the recipient is willing to put in at least $40 more of her own dough. My rule for restaurants is that the amount I give should equal a really big spread for one person or a reasonable meal for two. For example, one of my friends love The Counter (a place where you can customize your own burgers). The burgers there usually go for $9, plus $5 for fries and $6 for milkshakes. I got her a $25 gift card because that should just about cover a meal for two if they have two burgers and share a fries. I would not get her a $25 gift card to Spago in Beverly Hills because that will get them 1/2 an appetizer.

The only place where I’d make an exception would be if you know the person wants something that’s really outside of your price range – for example, an iPad 2. In this case, anything towards that purchase would be fine. A $25 Apple or Best Buy gift card will get your recipient one step closer to the tablet of her dreams.

3. Personalize the gift wrapping / covering, and write a heartfelt message. What’s better than a gift card? A gift card wrapped in something cool! My favorite way to present gift cards would be to put them into a cardboard sleeve (some gift cards, like Express, come in an actual gift-giving box), wrap it up with old grocery bag paper, and then tie a string of twine around it. Add on a card with a personal message that refers to the type of activity the gift card will bring them – “I hope you enjoy those burgers at The Counter! The one with brie and grilled onions is delicious!” or “I know you’ve been looking for a Blue-Ray player. Hope this makes your search a little easier!”

Anyone like to give and get gift cards for their holiday presents? Does anyone have other helpful tips when it comes to gift card-giving?

Business Insurance Experts Premierline Direct

Categories: Gifts, Spending

My Wedding Splurge: I Said Yes To The Dress

Written by WellHeeled on November 21, 2011 · 40 Comments

I said yes to the dress

I have a confession. This weekend, I handed over my American Express card and signed off on a $600 wedding gown purchase. As you may remember, I have a perfectly fine dress that I got for $66(!) at a Nordstrom Rack. But somehow I decided to say “yes” to a complete splurge dress with a price multiplied by 10. I don’t want to put a picture of the dress on the blog, but if you are not the person I am going to marry next year, you can see it here.

Randy, unfortunately, could not make it to my bridal appointment. What a shame!

This means our wedding budget is increasing. I will need alterations. I will need to sell my other gown. Wedding budgeting brings out very conflicted feelings inside me. On the one hand, I want to be prudent and responsible with the spending. And plus, weddings are one of the most judged expenses around. Try as I might, I think I have internalized some of that judgment / self-criticism. On the other hand, this is One (Very Special) Day. I want to look and feel my best, and I do feel more bridal in this dress than in my lovely $66 sheath. (I think Randy would have approved).

The splurge and the aftermath

All day after the bridal appointment, I felt a little guilty. I didn’t try my best to get the best deal for the dress (basically paid the list price). I could have gotten it cheaper from used dress sites or on Craigslist, but I couldn’t find a petite length one, so I decided to just bite the bullet and order at the store. There are so many beautiful dresses online for much cheaper, but I didn’t go that route because I really wanted to try something on before I made my purchase.

$600, in the grand scale of things, won’t make or break my finances. I can afford this dress, but the nature of weddings is that folks can always afford the individual elements. It’s the total, combined number that threatens to shock you if you don’t carefully monitor the budget. Speaking of which, I do not want to think about the total, combined number. Now that I got a nicer dress, I also feel compelled for us to up CB’s suit budget. Because, let’s face it, he will get much more use out of his wedding day attire than I will mine.

I am not exactly sorry I bought this dress, because it is beautiful, and I felt beautiful in it. I am aware that if this dress were any color but white and were labeled a long evening gown instead of a “wedding dress,” it would have cost 50% less. But life is just too short to always stress about if I got the absolute best deal or if the Wedding Industry is getting one over me. The bottom line is that I can see myself walking down the aisle in this dress – happy and glowing – and I’ve made my peace with the price.

So there is my wedding splurge. It’s an indulgence, but what a beautiful, lacey, delightful indulgence it is.

image source: Randy Fenoli via gettingmarriedonlongisland.com

Did you splurge on your wedding gown? If you are not yet married, do you think you will splurge on the dress? And most importantly, how much do you love Randy?

Categories: Luxury, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

Who’s The Shopper In Your Family?

Written by WellHeeled on November 18, 2011 · 17 Comments

Every family has at least one! Compared to my parents, I am definitely the shopper. With CB, I used to think it was just me. But now I’ve realized – we both are!

On Wednesday Banana Republic had a 50% off coupon for full priced items you purchase in stores. After I saw that news from Revanche’s tweet, we printed out the coupon and quickly drove to our local Banana Republic. Let me tell you, I have never seen that many men in one clothing store at the same time! We picked up a wool top coat (retail $250) and a lightweight zip jacket (retail $98) for CB. After the 50% coupon and $125 in gift cards (thanks credit card points), we walked out of the store having only spent $68.

It’s funny, I think I only realized recently that CB likes to shop for clothes, and I like helping him pick out things. In many ways, I think men’s clothing tend to be more classic, better constructed for the price, and more long-lasting. So I don’t mind him buying nicer items. Plus, when he buys something, it makes me feel less guilty about spending on myself (maybe not so good for our combined household spending!). In fact, one of our favorite things to do is to frequent the well-stocked Nordstrom Rack near our apartment, where I will browse the earrings and shoes while CB checks out the pants and jeans.

So, who’s the shopper in your family or relationship?

Categories: Shopping, Spending

10 Places To Buy Inexpensive Wedding Dresses Online

Written by WellHeeled on November 11, 2011 · 15 Comments

My favorite part of wedding planning is looking at dresses. But I didn’t much like to look at them in person – I guess I just got used to shopping online in the comfort and privacy of my home. Plus, I knew my budget didn’t allow me to go to any bridal salons, and often times the selection (and sizing!) are more ample on the internet. With all the great options that have sprung up in the past few years, there is no reason to let money stand in the way of a bride and a beautiful dress.

You can spend thousands or even tens of thousands on your wedding gown. Even ladies with budget-friendly weddings often put four-figures into their dress. But if you, like me, has a budget that is a bit slimmer than that figure, don’t despair. There are plenty of stores, bridal and otherwise, that offers inexpensive and stylish dresses for $500 or less. In fact, you can even veer into seriously-inexpensive territory with dresses that fall under $300 or $200.

Here are ten of my favorite websites where I found inexpensive wedding dresses. Lots of them.

1. BCBG. BCBG won me over when I found this elegant, structured dress (#6 in collage). It’s not strapless! and just $598.00. For brides who are looking for a blush / pink colored dress, the Torey (#3 in collage) is under $400 and looks absolutely stunning (check out that back!).

2. TheLimited. When I was middle schoool, I considered TheLimitedToo the height of fashion. Now that I am a little more grown up, I find their wedding dresses to be some of the most affordable gowns out there. The Final Sale items are an especially good value (of course, there is always the element of risk in ordering a nonreturnable gown online). These two dresses are only $79! I love the rosette detailing on this gown (#1 in collage), and it’s only $159.

3. Ann Taylor. Ann Taylor’s price point is a little bit higher than some of the other retailers, but the dresses look lovely. Very understated gowns. The Olivia gown with a backless design, at $550, is one of my favorites. Plus the store has great return policies.

4. ShopBop (sales section!). Go to ShopBop’s bridal section, and sort for price. That way you’ll see all the dresses under the $500 mark first. This ACL dress is only $150 on sale. This Halston Heritage is under $500.

5. White House Black Market. Look at the Alexandra (#4 in collage)! The elegant choice if you are lucky to have a tall, statuesque build. (If I suddenly grew 11 inches taller? This would be MY dress).

6. Sample Sale Sites such as RueLaLa and HauteLook. I’ve seen several bridal sample sales (Nicole Miller, Sue Wong) on RueLala and HauteLook. The offerings include dresses, of course, but also veils, bridal jewelry, shoes, and clutches. Sign up for their emails to keep abreast of when the bridal sales will happen. Unfortunately, I was always too late to the sale to scoop up a dress in my size.

7. Ruby Lane. If you are looking for vintage dresses, I believe there is no better place than on Ruby Lane. I have noticed that the prices here also tend to be somewhat lower than on Etsy. This empire-waist silk shantung gown is under $200. Try getting a brand-new gown at that price with real silk. Or, if you are looking for something more romantic, how about the 1960s lace and chiffon number?

8. Nordstrom. When people talk about excellent customer service, I think of Nordstrom. So I would feel very safe buying my gown online from this store. This JS gown is inspired by Pippa Middletown‘s dress. But for $200, it’s probably, oh, 800% percent cheaper than the royal bridemaid dress!

9. Lord & Taylor. Lord & Taylor has a small but well-curated selection of gowns online. An embellished Sue Wong dress (#5 in collage) is discounted for $285.99. Another beautiful Pippa Middletown copy by ABS is at under $400.

10. David’s Bridal: David’s Bridal’s Buy Online selection of dresses starts at just $99, like this strapless pleated gown. Want a ball gown (#2 in collage) without the ball gown price? This beauty is also $99.. I love this dress with the bold rose detail at the waist.

Tell me, what are your favorite places to shop online for inexpensive wedding dresses? Do I have any bride-to-be’s that saw something you like in this list?

Categories: Shopping, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

I Can’t Buy A Regular Cake Because I Am Having a Wedding (or, My Time In The Wedding Twilight Zone)

Written by WellHeeled on November 7, 2011 · 46 Comments

The title says it all. A bakery refused to sell me one of their regular cakes because I told them I am getting married. Hence begins my experience in the Wedding Twilight Zone.

(This is a plain white cake, much like the cakes that the bakery wouldn’t sell to me once they found out I was having a wedding).

Here’s what happened. As a devout cake-lover, I knew that I wanted my guests to have a delicious cake at the wedding. So I found a well-regarded bakery and reached out to the owner. The website shows two pricing schemes: one for wedding cakes ($5.50 per person or around $150 for 28 people) and one for “event” cakes ($45 for a cake of comparable size).

Here’s how my conversation in the Wedding Twilight Zone went:

Me: Hi, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions about your cakes. I am looking for a cake next year.
Bakery owner: Oooh, how wonderful! Are you having a wedding?
Me: Yes, actually, so I just had a few questions. In my head: oops, should I have said that? But I don’t want to LIE to her. I was wondering what’s the difference between the wedding cakes and the event cakes.
Bakery owner: The wedding cakes are a nice two-tier cake. There is a $150 minimum order.
Me: Oh, okay. I am having a really small, casual wedding. Can I buy a regular event cake instead?
Bakery owner: Oh, no. The event cakes are a completely different look. They are like.. birthday cakes! You’d need to get the wedding cake. Then there’s the delivery fee…
Me: I understand. But I’m not asking for a wedding cake for the price of a regular cake. Can I just buy a regular cake?
Bakery owner: No… wedding cakes and event cakes are completely different. You’d have to get a wedding cake.
Me: Fine, can I just get a regular cake for a ah, regular event, then? I can even come pick it up.
Bakery owner: awkward silence
Me: All right. Thank you very much. Let me think about it.

What Is The Wedding Twilight Zone?

The wedding twilight zone, I propose, is that weird disruption in the space-time continuum where once a store hears the word “wedding”, it will refuse to sell you, the customer, anything that is NOT wedding related. Despite your insistence to the contrary. Despite you asking them what is the difference between wedding vs. non-wedding. (See this BBC video for an illustration).

The wedding cakes and the event cakes share identical flavors. For the same size, the wedding cake costs more than THREE times as much as the regular cake. From what I can see on the website, the wedding cakes are more beautifully decorated. The regular event cakes, however, are just fine for my purposes. I don’t want to pay an extra $100 for a second tier and more decorations.

So, I understand why a wedding cake – which the bakery prepares with more effort and decor – costs more. I understand that many items have a “wedding premium.” I’d expect the owner to be peeved if I bought an event cake but expected a more elaborate wedding cake. But I don’t! If I just wanted a plain, frosted cake – for WHATEVER occasion (which was really none of the bakery’s business) – why couldn’t I buy it? It is really frustrating. The owner was perfectly polite, but the exchange still left me slightly bewildered and indignant. I don’t want to have to dance around the subject and say it’s a “special event” or a “fancy luncheon” or a “graduation” to buy what I want to buy.

Give customers what they want!

This business owner lost out on my business. I get it – it’s better to sell a wedding cake at $150 than a regular cake at $50. But it wasn’t a matter of whether I will buy a lower cost event cake or an more expensive wedding cake from her bakery. It was whether I will buy an event cake from her. Which she apparently did not want.

CB suggested that we call back closer to the wedding and just tell the bakery it’s for a birthday or whatever. I told him no. The owner sounded like a nice-enough lady and the cakes got great reviews online, but I am not going to jump through hoops for her to take my money if she doesn’t want it. Let her eat her own cakes!

Have you ever been trapped in this Wedding Twilight Zone where once the store finds out you are having a wedding, they won’t sell you any none wedding items?

image source: by Volantra via Flickr

Categories: Food, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

Keeping Track of How Much We Spend: A November Experiment

Written by WellHeeled on November 2, 2011 · 29 Comments

I have a confession. I have not kept track of my spending since 2008. In fact, I have never consistently kept track of my spending for more than 4 months at a stretch. In fact, I was rather happy about the fact that I didn’t need a budget. HA.

Lately, I’ve felt that money was just flowing out like water (plane tickets! hotel rooms! $30 brunches twice a weekend!), but I didn’t really have an idea of exactly how much I was spending. Don’t want to ignore my personal finance spidey senses, though, so for the month of November, I am going to keep track of every penny that CB and I spend. (If I am to start saving for a down payment for that eventual piece of property I can call my own, it’ll be really helpful to know how I can save more).

Unlike a good personal finance blogger, I don’t really know what to expect. Of course, I know what we spend on rent. I know how often we go out to eat. But there’s no complete accounting of how much money it takes to run the household necessities and afford the luxuries of our combined economic unit.

It’s only the second day of November, but we have already spent close to $1,200…

Rent: $1,095.00
Utilities – gas: $15.50
Groceries: $37.50
Household items: $37.37
Work lunch: $5.38
Laundry: $2.25

Here’s what I hope to get out of this experiment: (1) I will know how much we spend. (2) I will be appropriately horrified by the amount and then be motivated to rein in the expenses. Instead of a fancy website or app, I am doing this the old fashioned way. Every few days, we are going to gather the receipts and then just input the numbers into an Excel sheet.

Do you keep track of your spending down to the penny? Or are you like me? Well-intentioned but really don’t know where your money is going? And lastly, who wants to guess how much we will spend this month?

Categories: Spending - Tags: wonders of Excel

Economy Improves More Than Expected – Will Your Spending Habits Change?

Written by WellHeeled on October 28, 2011 · 9 Comments

The economy: better than before

The economy grew at an annual rate of 2.5% for the third quarter of 2011. Not a fanstistic growth rate by any means, but it’s high enough to alleviate fears of a double-dip recession. It’s not as bad as we thought it would be! Hence, cause for optimism… or at least, less pessimism. Given that I’ve spent all of my post-college years in a haze of economic gloom, I’ll take whatever glimmer of hope I can get. From the Los Angeles Times:

“We’re inching our way forward,” said Diane Swonk, chief economist at Mesirow Financial.

The new data from the Commerce Department on Thursday showed slow but steady improvement in the economy throughout 2011. The third-quarter data was in line with economists’ projections.

Consumer spending, particularly on automobiles, helped boost growth. Personal consumption increased at an annual rate of 2.4% in the third quarter, compared with just a 0.7% increase in the second quarter.

Will the improving economy change your buying behavior?

So, with the risk of a second recession abading, will this change your buying behavior? Will you be a little looser with the purse strings? Will you make some big-ticket item purchases that you have put off until now? Will you take out new loans for education or business?

I have to say that the news haven’t changed any of my plans, but it makes me feel much better about taking on debt to go to graduate school. The slowly warming economy probably – and unconciously – make me feel better about picking up a new necklace or a book that I might have passed on before.

Categories: Economy, Spending

Should You (Do You) Tip For Bad Service?

Written by WellHeeled on October 27, 2011 · 29 Comments

On the one hand, tipping has become such an ingrained social norm, a part of “the cost of doing business,” if you will, that it would take something egregious to not tip. On the other hand, I don’t believe that tipping should be taken for granted. If good service was not provided, then a tip was not earned. So in what situations would it be appropriate to withhold a tip or to decrease the amount of tip?

Consider these four scenarios:

You call a taxi to take you from the airport to your hotel. The taxi arrives 10 minutes later than the quoted time, and the driver is abrupt and short with you when you get in.
You call a taxi to take you to the airport at 530am. The taxi arrives a few minutes before 6am (despite several frantic calls you’ve made to the dispatcher). When you get in the van, the driver is polite and cordial, but asks you about a gratuity when you hand over your credit card. Incidentally, it’s the same taxi company.
You go to a restaurant. After the host seats you, you are left there waiting for 15 minutes before anyone notices.
You go to a restaurant. Your water glass goes unfilled for 20 minutes even as you repeatedly try to flag down the server. The restuarant is not inordinarily busy. (And would it make a difference if it were?)

In those cases, would you tip? Would you decrease the tips?

In the first case, I still tipped $2 on a $10 fare because I felt put on the spot. In the second case, I told the driver “no gratuity” because I was so peeved that he was 20-plus minutes late and that he had the nerve to ask me about a tip right when I got into the car. In the third case, CB and I just left the restaurant and went to a different place because there’s nothing that sours a restaurant experience faster for me than being ignored. In the fourth case, I think we still tipped 20% even though we both talked about how unresponsive the service was. I chalk it up to social conditioning.

With tips so ubiquotous these days (and many folks dependent on tips as part of their overall compensation), I’m wondering in what situation can you justify not tipping? Fabulously Frugal wrote a post on her feelings about tipping, and I agree on several points. I don’t mind tipping, but if tipping has gotten to the point where it is expected for even mediocre or marginal service, then why not just mark up the cost of the item and call it a day?

Should you (and do you) tip for bad service? At what point would you eliminate the tip completely?

Categories: Behavior, Spending - Tags: consumer behavior

“I can’t believe they spend money on that…” – Expenses That Are Judged The Most

Written by WellHeeled on October 13, 2011 · 45 Comments

This post has been Consumeristed!

“I can’t believe they spend money on that…”

How many times has that thought crossed your mind? I have to admit that it has certainly crossed mine! Yesterday, Andrea @ So Over Debt wrote about our judgment of other people’s expenses (and vice versa). Inspired by her post, I’ve decided to focus on a list of expenses that always come under the glare of judgment, based on what I’ve read on personal finance blogs and websites.

1. Wedding expenses

If there is one thing sure to get people talking, it’s the cost of weddings. And with the cost of weddings, the cost of wedding dress seems to be fodder for criticism (Sallie’s Niece caught so much flack for her wedding dress). Before I got engaged, I admit that my eyes popped out whenever I heard costs in the $20,000+ ranges. But now that I am planning a wedding, I get it. A traditional wedding costs money, period. If you want a sit-down dinner, dancing, on a Saturday night in a metropolitan area and you have a guest list over 30 and no connections with wedding vendors, it will cost money. Even my small dance-free shindig is costing more than I had expected. Sarah at Paranoid Asteroid had a great post detailing the 10 frugal things she won’t be doing for her wedding.

2. New cars

Do most personal finance bloggers hate new cars or what? I get it, the depreciation hits the instant you drive a car off the lot, etc. etc. But I love well-constructed, reliable new cars that I can drive to death (example: see my hand-me-down-from-Dad 240K miles Honda). Remember when Krystal at Give Me Back My Five Bucks bought a car and the firestorm erupted in her comment section (the comments seem to have gotten lost when she transitioned the blog to WordPress)? If someone as responsible and as on-top of her finances as Krystal can’t escape criticism, who can?

Last July, I talked about considering a new car because one of my concerns is the lack of up-to-date safety features in my car, and a commenter told me to wear a helmet while driving instead and accused me of helmet-head vanity!

Lets say there is a safety component and that’s valid. How do you improve the safety of your car so it’s equal to that of a new honda? Research shows the greatest improvement that can be made to driver and passenger safety would be to make it compulsory for people to wear motorcyle helmets while driving, like seatbelts are now compulsory. That would cost you about $50. The helmet negates the need for airbags because it’s better than an air bag (ever seen a nascar or fomula 1 driver without a helmet and with airbags?) . Now we can go from making an emotional decision about safety to a rational decision about safety.

$50 helmet vs $15000 for a new car so I don’t mess up my hair? Where you just trying to rationalize the purchase of a new car?

3. Lattes

I blame personal finance expert and author David Bach for coining the much-too-marketable phrase Latte Factor. Poor lattes got the blame in this case, but everything viewed in the context of annual expense, then compounded over 30 years at rate of 12% will look completely astronomical.

4. Technology / Entertainment

New iPhones, big-screen TVs, video games are all targets loaded in the “bad spending” column, it seems. But all those things make people happy. Gosh darn it. I get a lot of value out of my smartphone – although it’s definitely nice that right now my work covers my plan costs.

5. Clothes

There is this pervasive image of the free-wheeling, irresponsible young lady who spend her entire paycheck on clothes and shoes. (I think it’s part of the stereotype of women as being less financially savvy, even if they look outwardly successful). The fact is that some people love clothes and some people love something else. A woman who is decked out in stylish garb might be deep in credit card debt, or she might just as well be a millionaire. Or maybe she just doesn’t spend as much money on her cars and TVs and value clothes instead. Kelly at the petite fashion blog Alterations Needed said it best when she said in a comment to my post: ”I eat cheaply, and rarely go on vacations, let alone exotic expensive ones. I sock all that extra money away, and then splurge on what I really love in life…my closet!”

6. Graduate school

Another thing that I’ve realized is that education, specifically higher education, has a lot of criticism aimed at it among personal finance bloggers. I understand, after all, it’s a big decision to leave the workforce and take on significant debt (or both! what fun). I believe most people make a thoughtful choice on whether they want to go back to school. This is close to my heart because I am applying to an MBA program. A graduate degree can lead to a career switch or great job opportunities, plus, there’s what I call the “luxury” factor. Life isn’t just about return on financial investment. I fully recognize that purely financially speaking, it may not make sense for me to go get an MBA(or have kids, or travel the world, or get a dog, etc.). It will certainly take me longer to recoup my costs that it would if I have a lower income right now or am aiming for a higher income post-MBA. But the experience of being in school, furthering my education, increasing my network and making new friends are also worth something to me, as I imagine it’s worth to other folks who decide to go back to school.

The one expense that almost always escape judgment?

Travel! I love travel as much as the next gal (and I blog about it plenty), but come on. Travel can expand one’s horizons and add a valued cultural perspective. Yet honestly, a vacation to Paris or a trip to Turkey can be as much of an luxury item as a pair of Louboutin heels or a Prada purse.

I can’t say that I free from judgment – it’s human nature to judge and compare. Okay, fine, I do judge people who pay $300+ for Hermes flip flops. Just a little.

What expense do you think personal finance bloggers judge the most (am I missing anything on this list?)? What expense do you judge the most?

Categories: Blogging, Spending

Wedding Flowers: I Dream of Peony

Written by WellHeeled on September 24, 2011 · 16 Comments

When I first got engaged, I was completely cool and collected and budget-savvy about wedding flowers. After all, why pay a load of cash for something that will look pretty for a few hours before drying and browning as flowers are wont to do?

Perhaps I was a touch over-confident. While scrolling through some wedding websites today, I happened upon pictures of pink peonies. Just look at this beautiful bouquet (via The Knot).

All of a sudden, I went from “don’t care about flowers” to “must have peonies – fields of peonies.” Lush, romantic, and fragrant, the peony is an important flower in my country of origin. We are not incorporating any of my heritage into the wedding (no tea ceremony, for example), so peonies would be a nice touch, even if no one else sees anything but pretty blooms. Everything I’ve read about the flower makes me love it more.

Everything, that is, except the price. As I’ve learned in my crash course into peonies, this flower only blooms from late April to early June, and can cost up to $12 per stem because of its limited supply and popularity with brides. I am getting married in early June, so I should be at the tail end of the peony season. If I’m lucky, Trader Joe will sell a bouquet of 5 stems for $7 or $8.

So the plan is this: I am trekking to the LA Flower District the day before the wedding. I am going to have with me $200 in cash, a couple of friends, several buckets, and a cart. And I am going to pick out cabbage roses and peonies in shades of pink, dusty rose, and mauve. At the very least, I’m going to get enough peonies to make the bridal bouquet!

Categories: Luxury, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

Wedding Shoes

Written by WellHeeled on September 16, 2011 · 13 Comments

The wedding expenses keep growing… slowly but steadily! With my purchase of a pair of pink satin shoes, I can now check one more item off my list. And the best part is, these shoes were marked down to just $20 plus tax because they were on clearance.I had originally planned to spend $50-$100 on shoes for the wedding, so I came way under budget. Now, my wedding expenses stand at $1,253. After reading several bridal magazines sent to me courtesy of friends and family, I am becoming influenced by all the beautiful things I am seeing! Even though bridal magazines (ahem hello Martha Stewart Weddings) are full of dresses, flowers, and venues that I cannot afford, I do like the ~~pretty pictures~~ inspiration.

Categories: Shopping, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

How Engagement Changed Our Finances

Written by WellHeeled on September 5, 2011 · 13 Comments

Engagement is that strange, twilight period where you are still single in the eyes of the law, but that you have made promises to each other to become something more – a legally sanctioned partnership with all the rights and obligations accorded to you by the state. I am not sure how much impact an engagement has on most couples’ finances, but even though CB and I won’t be getting married until next June, the act of getting engaged, I feel, have already changed the way we look at our finances:

I usually carry a small life insurance policy provided through my employer. In years past, I have always designated my mom as my beneficiary. During the most recent open enrollment, however, I put down CB’s name. I don’t know when CB started putting my name down as his beneficiary, but that apparently happened before my enrollment period.
CB has a few thousand dollars in student loans from undergraduate years. I feel much more motivated now to figure out how we can pay off this debt before we go to graduate school, even though it’s not technically my loan. I know that whatever debt we have, even though they are individual loans, will affect our financial resources as a couple.
We have stopped keeping very close track of who pays for what or how proportionally split our expenditures are. If I feel that he has been picking up a lot of the tabs lately, I’ll pay for our flights for a get away or the next Costco run.
I’ve never thought I’d want a 100% combined finances set-up, but I am beginning to change my mind. The sense of partnership – of being in this together, with someone whom you do not have to calculate with or account for – is very appealing indeed. So I suppose being engaged, and really appreciating the feeling of shared resources, shared opportunities, shared goals makes me seriously think about combining finances once we are married.

Has engagement changed (or do you think it will change) your finances and attitudes toward shared finances?

Categories: Goals, Love, Spending

A Spender Trapped In a Saver’s Body

Written by WellHeeled on May 26, 2011 · 29 Comments

A Spender vs. Saver

Whenever articles come out that ask: Are you a natural-born Saver or Spender? I always think about which category I’d fall into.

On the surface, I’d probably be classified as a natural saver – I save for retirement, long-term goals, big trips, etc., and I don’t live beyond my means. And yet, I think I am a spender trapped inside a saver’s body – because I really, truly, hate the feeling of not being able to spend.

If you are like me, you wouldn’t be very good at depriving yourself / enforcing no-spend rules. For example, I thought about going to Paris one night, and bam, I am making plans for a $4,000 trip. I see a beautiful $300 dress, and I click “Buy” after just a few hours (the travesty is that I still have not worn that dress. Six months later. But I will in October for a wedding). I go through Starbucks like they are going out of style, and at $4 per latte it would be a very good thing for my wallet if they DO go out of style. I eat out much too much.I tried living without a budget and while that went OK for a while, I soon realized that, nope, I DO need an ~~budget~~ adult allowance. I get bitten by the shopping bug.

Can you become a saver if you are naturally inclined to spend?

I think so. Just like you can still get in shape if you hate exercise or you can still eat healthily even if you love sweets. It’s all about playing little tricks on yourself to help you along. How I’ve done that is to put away money before it gets into my hands. I do this with my 401K contributions – every month over $2,000 disappears before I get my paycheck. That way, my spending is constrained by the money that I actually have. I also try to minimize my BIG expenses (rent, car, etc.) so I don’t have to go through daily acts of deprivation (no Starbucks, no eating out).

Automatic savings, paying myself first, and forgetting about the money I have so I always feel less well-off than my bank ledger – these are the ways I try to keep my inner spender at bay!

Are you spender or a saver? Or are you, like me, a spender trapped in a saver’s body? Any savers trapped in a spender’s body here?

Categories: Behavior, Saving, Spending - Tags: 401K, having fun

The Engagement Ring: Do you know how much he spent?

Written by WellHeeled on April 28, 2011 · 82 Comments

CB and I are pretty open about our finances. We share our goals and make saving a big priority. I have learned, however, that openness has a limit – CB absolutely refuses to tell me how much he spent on my engagement ring.

Okay one more ring shot! (I actually can’t wear the ring yet because it has to be resized and insured. So please indulge me my pictures.)

On the one hand, I’m really curious – and a little scared – of how much he spent. On the other hand, I am also relieved because I can just go on enjoying my beautiful ring without feeling like we should have saved the money for something else.

Here’s what I do know: CB got the ring at Costco – woohoo! – and that the price fit into his budget and he paid for the ring with cash. That makes me happy. He drove to Costcos all over town trying to find something that he knew I’d like but that he also found pretty (I wouldn’t say that we have the exact same taste when it comes to rings). The fact that he put so much time and energy into picking out a ring that I love, all by himself, makes me very happy.

I’ve talked about my interest in nontraditional engagement rings. I had thought that we were picking out my ring together, so when I was looking at rings I concentrated on mostly moissanite and gemstone rings under the $1,000 mark.

So, I feel a little guilty about the money. But call me a hypocrite because, well, I adore my very traditional diamond engagement ring. I love the bezel setting. The milligrain edging. The pave diamonds. I’ve never worn a diamond before, and wow, does it sparkle. In fact, I love this ring so much that I have decided I will keep it as my only ring. It can double as my wedding band. Plus, no need to buy an additional ring.

Ladies, do you know how much your ring cost? Do you WANT to know? Also, does anyone wear only their engagement ring, no wedding band?

Categories: Love, Luxury, Spending - Tags: all things wedding

Coupled Up = Money in the Bank

Written by WellHeeled on April 18, 2011 · 13 Comments

Are there financial benefits to being in a relationship?

Globe and Mail recently came out with an article about the true cost of being a singleton. (By the way, I just recently discovered Globe and Mail. I love it!). It seems a little unfair to me how the world is structured for couples, but I will take my breaks where ever I can get them.

I do think there is a slight distinction in between in a relationship and living together vs. being in a relationship and living apart. Most of the benefits accrued to coupled people are because they live together, in fact, as anyone in a long-distance relationship will tell you, being in love and apart can get expensive, fast.

Since CB and I started living together, here are the few ways that our relationship has saved me money.

Living expenses

In the few years since I graduated college, I have gone through several living arrangements. I’ve lived with a roommate, lived by myself, and now am sharing an apartment with a significant other. Living with CB means that we can split the groceries, DSL, utilities, and rent. I am paying about $300 less than I would be if I were to live alone. The biggest benefit I see to cohabitation is the fact that two married / partnered people can live in a studio or one-bedroom apartment, an arrangement that wouldn’t be possible with roommates. A one-bedroom apartment is quite a bit cheaper than a two-bedroom. There’s also the sharing of resources that occurs: two people living together don’t need two separate internet connections or Netflix accounts or cable subscriptions.

We made the decision to live together because it made sense for our relationship (I think most people would agree that moving in solely for financial reasons isn’t the best idea), but it’s a big perk that living together is so good for our budgets.

Travel

One of the best things about coupling up, I think, is that you will always have a good travel buddy. Given how busy everyone is, I have a hard enough time scheduling dinners with my friends. It’d be 1000x more difficult to plan a big, expensive trip that matches everyone’s tastes and schedules (I am still a little sad that our girls’ cruise 2009 never happened). I can travel alone, but I’m the kind of person where I’d have much more fun and I’d feel safer if I am going with someone else. Plus, if I go on a big trip by myself, it would be very, very expensive.

The dreaded single supplement is alive and well. Most travel prices are quoted with double occupancy, which means that if I were to go alone, my best choices are to hope for a good roommate or to fork over the extra dough for a private room. The Galapagos cruise we are saving up for, for example, costs around $4,000-$5,000 per person. A single supplement would add another $1,000 to the total price.

Food

I actually am not sure if I am saving money in this regard, but if I cook more, I can buy in bulk. It doesn’t cost double the price to cook for two people than it does for one. I will admit that being in a relationship has prompted me to eat out more though – there’s always a willing dining buddy in CB!

Personal Care & Grooming

A few months ago I wrote about a lady who spends $10,000+ a year on dating and related purchases. So I don’t have that pressure of looking fabulous every single minute of every day – which I take advantage of, liberally (sorry CB!). Still, I’m pretty sure that my personal care and grooming expenses are what they would be if I were single. Most of the “beautifying” things I do (facials, pretty dresses, lipstick) are for myself – because, well, I want to look good! And this might not be politic to admit, but I hope CB never thinks I’ve “let myself go,” so I try to do what I can to look moderately attractive for us both. At least a few days a week!

But I don’t spend $10K on dating activities when I’m coupled, and I don’t foresee increasing my “dating budget” much even if I were single (although, to be honest, I would probably spring for an online dating membership).

Gifts

This is an area where being in a relationship definitely costs couples more. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, etc., all these holidays and “milestone” occasions add up, also, don’t forget the “just because” gifts that can add to the relationship goodwill. But, in the case of giving gifts to a 3rd party, I suppose couples have the opportunity to go dutch on a gift, effectively splitting the cost in half.

Do you think it’s cheaper being a couple than being single? Any other costs or perks that I’ve overlooked?

Photo credit: Miss Claeson via Flickr

Categories: Life, Love, Spending - Tags: good money moves