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Our $7,000 Southern California Wedding: The Budget Recap

Written by WellHeeled on June 12, 2012 · 40 Comments

When: Saturday in June
Where: Southern California
# of people who attended: 35
Initial Budget: $7,000

When I was allocating our wedding dollars, I loved “real wedding” budget posts – blog posts that broke down costs and gave a realistic sense of what kind of wedding is doable with what amount of money. In the spirit of paying it forward, I hope this budget recap will be helpful to brides & grooms out there, especially if you are planning a daytime event in Southern California. Plus, I get to show you some of our pictures! Read on for details on how much getting married cost us.

Ceremony: $532.00 / 8%

We held our ceremony inside this gorgeous city-owned property, which I believe is one of the BEST hidden secrets of wedding venues in California. As you can see, the room comes with leather benches, 12-feet ceilings, and double chandeliers, and needs no decoration. A 2-hour rental only cost $240. Where else can you get that kind of deal?! The only less-than-ideal thing about the room is that it tends to be dark, especially with the morning June gloom. An afternoon wedding would get much more light. The balance of the ceremony budget went to our marriage license, marriage certificates, and an acoustic guitarist. A family friend officiated – we gave him cash as a “thank you” that is included in the Gift section below.

Reception Food & Drinks: $1,961.00 / 29.6%

Our reception for 35 – including bride, groom, photographer, and photographer’s assistant – was held inside at a very lovely restaurant near our ceremony site. We didn’t have to pay a room rental fee and didn’t do much decorating at all. We selected a 2-course plated lunch with a choice of braised chicken with mashed potatoes or grilled salmon with risotto. In addition, we hosted champagne and wine for $300. Instead of a tiered wedding cake, we got three ”regular” cakes in different flavors. The food was pretty darn good, and everyone seemed to have cleaned their plates…at least at my table! By having a daytime event, we saved 25% on the menu vs. dinner.

Attire & Accessories: $1,838.98 / 27.7% (Bride: $987.82, Groom: $851.16)

My dress (from David’s Bridal) plus alterations cost $947.04 – I had to get an emergency $250 alterations job 2 weeks before the wedding. If I had not purchased my dress at retail I could have shaved $200 off this category. Ah well. C’est la vie. It’s mind-boggling how I spent almost $1,000 on a dress that I will wear for ONE DAY. Even more mind-boggling? I don’t regret the expense at all. I felt supremely bridal in that gown… and it was lightweight and comfortable. In addition to my dress, I also bought shoes (Marshalls) and a jeweled brooch (eBay) for the wedding. The only jewelry I wore, aside from my engagement ring, were a pair of pearl earrings that CB gave me the Christmas before. CB was the true budgeteer between the two of us. His Brooks Brothers suit plus alterations came out to $650.66. The shoes, shirt, and tie were all purchased at Nordstrom Rack.

Photography: $900 / 13.6%

What I learned when I first started looking at photographers: it costs more than I, pre-engagement, ever thought were possible. Photography is an area where many brides splurge on, and I can understand why. After all, when the wedding’s over, all you will have are the pictures and the memories. Fortunately, I found someone that I like and that fit our budget. We paid $850 for 4 hours of coverage and digital user’s rights, plus I tipped her $50. We decided to forgo a professional album as we can always print out our pictures later on. Our photographer was just starting out when we booked her, but I really like her style and her personality. Now she is much more experienced and her prices have gone up, but she is still surprisingly affordable. We met up with family an hour before the ceremony to take pictures, skipping the getting-ready shots.

Flowers & Decor: $294.49 / 4.4%

Throughout the whole wedding planning process, my floral mantra has been “fresh flowers plus succulents CAN’T look bad.” That gave me the confidence to DIY everything: 8 flower centerpieces, 1 bridal bouquet, 2 bridesmaid nosegays, and 1 cake table arrangement. Less than two weeks before the wedding, I ordered some succulents from Etsy for a total of $100. I also bought around $20 worth of goblets and glasses from Goodwill. The day before the wedding, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and I went to the flower market where we purchased around $100 worth of spray roses, roses, lamb’s ear, banana leaves, floral foam, and wire and supplies. I did all of my flowers the night before the wedding – we got done around 12:30 am. It was a last-minute project but quite surprisingly the most fun I’ve had with wedding planning.

Stationery & Website: $54.00 / 0.8%

A family friend did our invitations and thank you cards as an gift. All our invitations just took a regular $0.45 stamp, with the exception of a single invitation to Southeast Asia – that was $1.10. I’m not kidding when I say that our stationery – letterpress on very thick, 100% cotton cardstock from Crane & Co. – is probably THE most-top-of-the-line item we have at the wedding. The cardstock was so substantial that the mailman at the post office asked me if I were mailing CDs! We sent out around 30 invitations, which would have probably cost us at least $200 had we paid for these invites (what’s the going rate for letterpress these days?). $39 went to the premium version of our online honeymoon registry. We got a free wedding website at weddingwire.com.

Gifts & Favors: $500 / 7.5%

This includes a $250 cash gift to our officiant (the same gentleman who did our invitations and thank you cards), the other $250 went to our parents and the wedding party. My mother-in-law did the favors (candy), so I’m not sure how much they cost. I believe it was somewhere around $50?

Hotel: $220 / 3.3%

The night before, we stayed 40 minutes outside of our wedding site because the area is just so. damn. expensive. I used my hotel points for this. The night of the wedding we stayed at a place we found via AirBnB for $220 total for Saturday & Sunday night. In an ideal world, we would be spending our wedding weekend at the Four Seasons (which was around $600/night during the weekend of our wedding. ha!), but that was 1. way outside of our budget, and 2. WAY outside of our budget. You win some, you lose some.

Hair & Makeup: approximately $300 / 4.5%

Hair and makeup were all on my own. In fact, this picture is the first time I have gotten a good look at how my hair looked from the back… I put my hair in foam curlers the night before the wedding and the pinned it with bobby pins in 10 minutes. In most of my pictures you can see a ton of flyaway hairs… but for a DIY hairstyle, I think it turned out really well. For my makeup, I went to Sephora and spent lots of dough. Then I went to Rite-Aid and bought more stuff. I want to consider those “normal expenses” as opposed to wedding expenses, but I probably wouldn’t have went so above budget had I not had the wedding. So.. in the wedding budget they went. It was all worth it, though, because I loved my makeup the day of. And now I have all the products to play with.

Rings: $35 / 0.5%

CB bought a tungsten ring for $35 from Amazon.com. Originally, I planned to get a cheap stand-in wedding band, but then I realized I’m fine with just wearing my engagement ring. There’s no point in getting a cheapie band if I don’t care about wearing a band in the first place. So that’s another cost forgone.

What We Spent: $6,635.47 (or 5% under budget)

A few more tips:

I stand by these 5 tips for a sane and (relatively) stress-free wedding without breaking the bank.
In my experience, it’s easier to cut expenses rather than trim expenses. So we eliminated dancing, reception music (the restaurant provided ambient music), professional florals, engagement photos, videography, transportation, separate hotel rooms for the bride and groom, tiered wedding cake, cake toppers, expensive rings, etc.
The simplest way to keep a low budget is to manage your guest list. That’s not to say you can’t have a great budget wedding with a guest list of 250. It will be much harder, however, to do so with 250 guests than 25 guests. As your guest list shrinks, your reception possibilities open up. Many quirky or interesting venues only host small groups. I don’t feel like we scrimped when it came to our guests, and the only reason we could do that on a budget was to have a small guest list.
Spend a little more on the groom’s outfit, and make sure to get it tailored. A good suit will last ages, certainly far longer than a wedding dress will.
Consider hosting your reception at a restaurant if you 1. want good food, 2. hate hassle, and 3. can give up dancing. Our decision to have the reception at the restaurant is probably one of my smartest. The food was great – better than any wedding food I’ve had before, everything went smoothly, and we didn’t worry about rentals. Our reception felt like a nice lunch party where we were the guests of honor, and it was fun to just relax and catch up with friends.
A wedding goes by in the blink of an eye. Seriously, I was a little surprised by how quickly the whole day passed. Make sure that you will not regret all the work and money you’ve put into an event that really, will be over in 12 hours, max.
On the other hand, wedding budgeting isn’t a competition. You don’t get a prize if you spent $2,000 on your wedding and you don’t get a prize if you spent $200,000. Just don’t start your married life with debt because of the wedding. Life is much better without wedding debt.

How much did you spend / will you spend on your wedding? And just as importantly… do you think wedding budgeting will be a fun process?

I’m Married!

Written by WellHeeled on June 4, 2012 · 46 Comments

This is a quick post to capture my feelings about, well, tying the knot!

I still can’t believe that we are married. In some ways I feel like we are still way too young, and in other ways it feels like marriage will change nothing at all.
It was really nice to see our families and friends all gather around and wish us well. It made me kind of sad that there will never be another occasion where I will have that. Except for, you know, maybe my funeral.
The day passed by SO QUICKLY. I woke up at 6 am because I couldn’t sleep well the night before, and in the blink of an eye the day was over.
Right before I walked into the room, a big group of French? German? tourists exited and took pictures of me on the way out. They were so sweet and wished me the best, and that was kind of a funny moment before I walked down the aisle.
My flowers were fabulous, if I may say so myself. And I DIY’ed all the floral arrangements, including the bridal bouquet you see above. See that succulent rosette? I wired that!
Now that the wedding is over and I’ve had all of 2 days to think about it, I am very comfortable with how much we spent on the day and how we spent it – a full wedding budget recap is coming soon. On the one hand, it’s just one day, and even though I didn’t do ALL that much planning and agonizing and special crafty projects as many of the wedding bloggers I’ve read, there’s still the sense of “wow, all of that work and it’s all over in just a few hours?” On the other hand, it was a really nice day, so I’m glad I spent the money on things like wine and good food, and my dress (because it was a beautiful dress!).
I have a husband! Imagine that.

DIY Wedding Makeup – Not Necessarily Cheaper

Written by WellHeeled on June 1, 2012 · 22 Comments

Guys, I am getting married tomorrow. And here is my confession: I thought I would be immune to all the pressures from Wedding World. But, as it turns out, I am merely human and have fallen into the This Is Only One Day / Must Look My Absolute Best / More Money Will Make It Better traps that I thought I had so cleverly sidestepped.

Oh, hubris.

My plan has always been to DIY my wedding makeup.

I like doing makeup and have done the makeup for several of my friends before a big party or event (although never wedding). I don’t wear much in my day-to-day life, however, and so I have a few high quality powders but not much else in the way of a full makeup arsenal. My year-old tinted moisturizer and brow powder are not going to cut it. Finally yesterday evening I made a last minute dash to the grown-up women’s version of a candy store (Sephora) and scooped up $220 worth of face primer, eyeshadow primer, shadow palette, false eyelashes, mascara, foundation, eyeliner, blush, and highlighter. After an hour of intense studying of YouTube tutorials and Do’s and Don’t articles on bridal beauty, I did a full face makeup in my bathroom that turned out surprisingly well.

So now DIY wedding makeup plan is still on, but it’s not a step that has saved money like I thought it would. Instead, doing my makeup myself is costing me JUST ABOUT what it’d cost to get a makeup trial ($50-$80 plus tip) and a makeup artist to come the day of wedding ($150-$200 plus tip).

If I could do it all over again, I very well might have splurged for the professional makeup artist and planned for a more leisurely morning-of-the-wedding. Oh well! At least I get to keep all the loot afterwards.

Did you DIY your wedding makeup?

P.S. I will be back on Tuesday with the most exciting wedding-related post of all (well, at least to me): the wedding budget recap!

How Brides Can Help Their Bridesmaids Keep Costs Down

Written by WellHeeled on May 24, 2012 · 30 Comments

Over 75% of weddings occur between May and November, so we are in the thick of wedding season. Everyone knows how expensive weddings can be for brides and grooms – the “weddings cost an average of $27,000″ is seen in almost every article I read. But weddings are also pricey events for the bridal party. Bridesmaids often have to foot the bill for bachelorette parties, bridal showers, buy their dresses and shoes, and of course, pay the expense of traveling to the wedding itself. According to this infographic from Mint, it costs almost $1,700 to be a bridesmaid. Yikes!

Several personal finance blogs (Tie the Money Knot, Free Money Finance) and news sites (Consumerist article from Phil Villarreal, the Boston Globe) and even wedding blogs have already talked about this issue.

I have never been a bridesmaid, but I am going to be a bride very soon. So I thought I’d give my perspective on how I am helping to make costs manageable for my bridal party.

I wanted to make sure that standing up with me at the ceremony won’t result in financial burden on the ladies I love and cherish. Even though my maid of honor and my bridesmaid are both successful professionals, I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking them to spend a lot – I suppose I am trying to put myself into their shoes. Even though I would LOVE to be a bridesmaid to the important friends in my life, financial issues are very real. I know I would appreciate it if my friend did her best to manage bridesmaid costs, and so that’s what I’m trying to do. While these tips might not work for every bride (and if a bridal party is filled with practicing surgeons, Fortune 500 executives, and hedge fund analysts, these tips probably aren’t necessary), here is how this one bride – me - is helping her bridesmaid not. go. broke.

1. Let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses.

I gave my bridesmaids a general guideline (dresses in tones of dusty rose, mauve, or plum, a not too shiny fabric) and free rein to pick something that fits their budget and flatters their figure. My maid of honor purchased a dress for $25 on sale, while my bridesmaid got a $135 dress off eBay. It’s a running joke that the bride will hold up a $200 orange monstrousity with a big bow across the behind and say “but you can wear it again!” Suffice it to say, I did not want to be that bride. In this case, if my bridesmaids can’t wear their own dresses again, well, that’s their own darn fault!

2. Pay for bridesmaid dresses, or pay for the balance over a certain cost.

Some bridal forums say that bridesmaid dresses under $150 are budget-friendly, while others put the number at $200 or $250. But if one of your bridesmaids is a struggling student, even $50 might be too high. Even though in the U.S. it’s not traditionally expected for the bride to pay for dresses, it would be a very nice gesture. If a bride has her heart set on a $200 or $300 dress, she can offer to pay for half that cost and have her bridesmaids kick in the other half. If I haven’t gone with Option 1, I would’ve paid for my bridesmaids’ dresses.

3. Cut out the “extras” or pay for those extras yourself.

What do I mean by extras? Things like like professional hair, makeup, nails, buying new shoes, jewelry, etc., can add up very quickly. In my case, I assume my bridesmaids will beautify themselves by themselves and will wear shoes that they like. The plus side is that this is another thing I don’t have to worry about. If you do want to have everyone professionally made up and wear matching shoes or jewelry, it’s courtesy to pay for those extras.

4. Have reasonable requests for bachelorette parties and bridal showers.

If you know your bridemaids can’t afford to fly to Bora Bora and sit by the beach for a long weekend, well, don’t ask that of them. On a related note, don’t be too bummed if an out-of-town bridesmaid can’t make a particular event. Everyone has their own lives, I know that while my wedding is important to my bridesmaids, it’s certainly not the ONLY claim on their minds or wallets. (My bridal shower was an afternoon tea held at my future sister-in-law’s place, and it’s literally 100% better than anything we could’ve booked in a tea room. If only for the fact that it ran for 5 hours and no one threatened to kick us out).

5. Be appreciative.

Say “please” and “thank you.” Give a thoughtful gift. Acknowledge their time and energy. This doesn’t have much to do with dollars, but it’s got every thing to do with sense. (See what I did there? It’s okay. You can laugh. Or groan).

Do you guys have any other tips to add on how brides can help their ladies keep costs down? And if you have been a bridesmaid, how much did the honor cost you?

Etsy vs. eBay: You May Be Paying More for the Same Thing

Written by WellHeeled on May 9, 2012 · 24 Comments

I have officially decided to forgo the $260 hair piece that MOST of you advised me against buying. Instead, I looked for something a little bit more understated, a little bit more budget friendly, but still has that vintage flare I love. Etsy presents a myriad of chioces of headbands, fascinators, combs and brooches, and I fell in love with a hair brooch in the shape of a peacock feather. That is, until I went on to eBay and realized that there are brooches that look almost exactly the same, that I can buy for half the Etsy price. I’ve put up a screenshot below – you can see that the Etsy item costs $33.50, while the identical brooch is sold on eBay for $16.99. But at least that Etsy seller has changed (or “upcycled”) a brooch into a clip.

The proof is in the pudding screenshot

I believe in supporting artists and paying for quality products that requires real craftsmanship, but this excursion into Etsy has been a little disappointing. To be honest, I feel misled. Putting a clip on the back of a brooch you bought on eBay doesn’t strike me as an “original creation” as that Etsy seller proclaims. And it’s not an isolated case. I found several other examples of people who seemed to have simply purchased items on eBay and then turn around and sell it on Etsy for triple the cost. See this $5.50 brooch? It reappears for $18 here. This Etsy comb is selling for $30, whereas an identical comb on eBay has a starting bid of $9.99 and no bids 2 days before the close of auction. Further googling revealed that there are websites devoted to outing Etsy resellers and calling out Etsy knockoffs. I guess the moral of the story is: do your due diligence!

Have you discovered serious pricing discrepancies between identical products on Etsy vs. eBay?

5 Tips for Sane & Stress-Free Wedding Planning

Written by WellHeeled on May 7, 2012 · 15 Comments

Every time I log onto my wedding website, a little countdown stares back at me: my wedding is in a month! Most of the big items are booked, signed, and paid for (at least in part). Our invitations have gone out and our registry is set up. For the first time, I am really start to ENJOY this wedding planning, or maybe I am enjoying the feeling of anticipation and excitement about the upcoming big day. In any case, judging by what I’ve read online, it seems as if I got pretty lucky in putting together a sane and relatively stress-free wedding, on a reasonable-to-us budget. So I wanted to share the 5 tips that really helped me in the wedding planning process.

wedding 5 Tips for Sane & Stress Free Wedding Planning

photo credit: *m5 via flickr

1. Set a wedding budget, but set a realistic budget.

Even a million-dollar wedding has a budget… of $1 million. Most of us won’t be spending that much (unless I have some very rich lurkers reading this blog!), but EVERYONE has a budget. Talk with your fiance, with your family, with yourself, and figure out how much it is you are 1. able to spend and 2. comfortable with spending. When I first got engaged, I had no idea what my budget should be. But that’s kind of Step 1 in the whole planning process.

Attempting to hold a $40,000 wedding on a $20,000 budget is a surefire way to get an aneursym, unless you have tons of vendor relationships, are prepared and capable of lots of DIY, or have hours and hours to burn on wedding planning and research. And even then… I cringe a little just imagining the stress! There is nothing so frustrating as to have a vision of what you want your wedding to look like and then realizing that it will cost double the money you need to make it happen. Remember that triangle – cheap, easy, and good. You only get to pick two. And if your wedding budget require you to go into debt, the personal finance blogger in me must inform you that your budget is not realistic.

On the other hand… there are no prizes in wedding budgeting. You don’t get a prize for spending $500 and you don’t get a prize for spending $50,000. After the vows are spoken and the cake is cut, you’ll be married and you will have the memories of that day. I would never jeopardize my financial future for a wedding, but I also decided that I am not going to set an arbitrary $5,000 limit when we want and can afford to spend $7,000.

2. Have a small guest list, hire a wedding coordinator, or use an all-inclusive venue.

A small wedding, all things equal, will be more inexpensive and easier to plan. You also have the advantage of fitting into unconventional venues that have a size limit of under 100. For example, my ceremony venue’s max limit is 75, while my reception area’s is 45. I am a huge fan of the small wedding for minimizing stress and stretching your budget. At a guest list of around 35, I can splurge on some pretty nice food and several flavors of cake. I need to address fewer invitations. I have a good handle on my RSVP list. I don’t need to plan out individual seating charts.

If you want to have a bigger wedding – many people find it difficult to cull their guest list because they are blessed with a big family and tons of friends – hire a wedding coordinator. A friend is hosting a 250-person wedding and told me that her wedding coordinator has helped her read over contracts, find vendors, negotiate rentals, etc. If you are having a big wedding and can’t hire a wedding coordinator, going with an all-inclusive venue will save a lot of time and work. Those venues typically have chairs, table, lighting, music, etc., and a dedicated venue wedding planner, so you will get some help in planning the event. They also make it easier to budget because there is one price that covers most of wedding elements.

3. Set up online RSVP.

You could say we went minimalist with our invites – all we sent out was the wedding invitation and a small card with our wedding website address. Guests can then RSVP for the reception via the website. This cuts down on the postage (our invites, even with very heavy cardstock, only cost $0.45 each) and speeds up the reservation process. I’m not sure what Emily Post would say about this method, but I love how quick and easy online RSVP has been. FYI, we have our wedding website on weddingwire.com, and it has an RSVP app that is very simple to use.

4. Believe that your guests love you and support you, and that if something you do inadvertantly offend them or create an inconvenience for them, they will still love you and support you.

This means that if you cannot fit onto your guest everyone you want, trust that those people whom you care for but cannot invite will understand. This means that if you have your wedding on a Friday or even a Tuesday or Wednesday, trust that your guests will won’t think less of you. Maybe you will have fewer people attending, but the folks who can’t make it will send you their well wishes. Or maybe you, like me, will only serve a spinach salad for appetizer. Trust that your guests won’t think that you are misers too cheap to provide a choice of baby greens or arugula. Even if they hate spinach.

Or maybe you can’t afford to serve a sit-down meal at all and instead do a cake-and-champagne reception, believe that your guests will have a good time and celebrate with you anyway. Or, maybe you, like us, are having only a honeymoon registry. Trust, like I am, that guests know that absence of a traditional registry does not indicate money-grubbing etiquette-less behavior, and that every gift – on registry or off – will be appreciated.

5. Care less.

Does a river try to break apart the rocks in its path? No, it flows round them. Is this a zen koan? No, I made it up myself.

But nonetheless! The principle applies: sometimes you can’t change things – you don’t have the money, you don’t have the time, you don’t have the power. Instead of stewing over this fact or getting angry, change what you can: your reaction. Put more succinctly: care less.

An example: CB’s wedding party won’t be in matching suits. We decided to ask his party to just get gray suits – and this way they can wear something they already have or choose something that fits their budget. Would I like them to wear matching outfits and coordinating ties? Well, yes. Aethestically, that would make a more pleasing composition. But I don’t want to put that kind of financial burden on them. And so my solution is… care less!

(It’s a little hard to believe I am getting married in a month. If you had told me, way back when I was 17, that I was going to marry the cute boy I had met after class, I would have thought you were crazy. Life is funny. And right now, it’s pretty great.)

Do you have any other tips to add?

Tell Me I Should Not

Written by WellHeeled on May 3, 2012 · 48 Comments

There is only one purpose to this post:

Tell me I should NOT spend $240 plus $19 shipping on a beautiful-but-impractical headband that I will only wear for my wedding.

Now… start!

Fess Up Friday: Cheap Wedding Band Edition

Written by WellHeeled on April 13, 2012 · 62 Comments

I guess with today’s confession, if you meet me at the Financial Blogger Conference, you’ll know the band of sparkle on my finger is not the real deal.

How sentimental are you about your wedding bands? Is it OK to get cheap rings now and upgrade them later?

You’ll see from our $7,000 wedding budget that our wedding bands will only cost $70 total. CB bought a tungsten ring for $15, while I have budgeted $50 to get a simple sterling silver / CZ ring. Just a stand-in for a few years until we feel more comfortable spending the $1,000+ it’d cost to purchase a matching diamond & platinum band to go with my engagement ring.

Yesterday, WorkSaveLive asked whether he should sell his wife’s wedding ring to pay off debt. Well you can imagine the kind of responses it generated! My situation is similar, but with a twist. Instead of selling an expensive wedding ring to pay off debt, we are holding off on an expensive wedding ring so we’d have the money to minimize our debt.

A few readers raised the issue that a wedding band is a sentimental piece of jewelry and that I should reconsider this whole notion of buying cheap now and upgrading later. I understand their concern, because it’s something I’ve thought about myself. How much do I value having the same ring that I am married with? Even among the budgety-minded, I don’t know of many bloggers who talk openly about wearing a costume jewelry ring with the exception of Little Miss Moneybags, who bought her CZ eternity ring (much like the one pictured) for $26 at the Limited.

I know CB will tell me to get the ring that I want, no matter the price. In fact, he has urged me to look at more expensive options at several points through the wedding planning process… he’s probably afraid I’m making all my decisions based on cost. He told me something along the same lines, that he doesn’t want me to regret not getting a ring that I’d love and want to keep forever. This is something I’ve thought about for a while. Although there is always the chance for regret, I am OK with my decision to get a cheap stand-in ring now.

I’m surprisingly not too sentimental about things (although you could argue otherwise, given my reluctance to sell my grandmother’s jewelry even in the face of historic gold prices).
I am not a big ring-wearer. In fact, sometimes I go days or even weeks without wearing my engagement ring. And when I do wear it, I worry about it getting lost or damaged. It seems an awful a lot of responsibility to wear a couple thousand dollars or more on your hand.
Fashion jewelry would suffice for everyday wear, with the added plus of not having to worry about insuring the ring, losing the ring, caring for the ring, etc.
Technically, we could get the $1,500 for a diamond and platinum ring… I have a bonus coming up, and we do have money in the bank. But with graduate school and its attendant loans looming in the distance, and my refusal to downgrade our honeymoon, I don’t think spending four figures on a piece of jewelry is the right move right now.
And last but not least, I figured if my ring is the only thing I regret about my marriage, I’d be coming out ahead!

Having said ALL that, just in case you think I am somehow immune to social expectations (HA!) or am 100% comfortable with my decision, I must confess: there is still something strange ~~about wearing a CZ ring~~ having people know that I am wearing a CZ ring, even if those folks are just personal finance buddies. It seems like there is something more “official” about having a proper ring in a precious metal, giving the occasion the gravity it deserves. Then again, when your budget is $50, your options are limited.

Would you ever buy a cheap stand-in ring with the thought of upgrading later (or never)? How sentimental are you about your wedding ring?

Our $7,000 Wedding Budget… In Color!

Written by WellHeeled on April 9, 2012 · 34 Comments

I’ve gotten several comments on our proposed sub-$10,000 wedding budget. Originally, I had wanted to wait until after the wedding to write about it in more detail, because how embarassing would it be if we just blew it during the last few days? Now that we are two months from the Big Day and have already paid for several items, however, I have a much better idea of how much things are going to cost (and weddings, unless you elope, will probably end up costing more than any other one day in your life. I have made peace with that).

So I present… our $7,000 wedding budget spreadsheet

The Budget column shows our best estimate of how much things will cost. The Paid To Date and Expense Complete? columns help us see where we still need to spend. A few notes:

The wedding is in an extremely expensive part of California in June, therefore we are not saving any money on the area or date (although we are on the time – more on that later).
There are two items that I haven’t decided on yet: videography and guest favors, but I have included them in the spreadsheet just in case.
Also, the readers who told me that my guest list will expand – you guys are right. When we first started planning, we were working with a tiny guest list of just 20-25. Then I realized there are close friends that we really wanted to come, and 25 became 40 – the max our venue will hold!

I am happy with the way the budget is taking shape. In fact, we have a good chance to coming in around or even under the $7,000 mark. When I started planning the wedding, I used a combination of “bottom-up” and “top-down” approach. We set $10,000 was our absolute limit, and then I looked around at the individual components to see where we can trim some dollars. The wedding percentage rules-of-thumb can be helpful, but I didn’t hew too closely to that. Case in point: I’ve seen several websites that suggest brides allocate 10% of their total budget to flowers. I adore peonies, but there is no way I can spend $700 on flowers.

We wanted to minimize stress and reduce cost

I knew early on that I was not going to try to have a “$20,000 wedding on a $7,000 budget.” Mad props to brides who can do that, but that just screamed STRESS to me. And all of our stress-bearing capabilities were spent on graduate school applications and work.

We looked for spaces where we’d need minimal decor and where we wouldn’t have to deal with rentals. Our ceremony venue came with seating (yes!) and is indoors (double yes!). After our daytime ceremony, our lunch reception will be held at a restaurant a short drive away. Therefore, we can get by with less alcohol, our meals are 30% lower than a comparable dinner menu, and we will not need a separate caterer. We do have to order wine directly from the restaurant’s wine menu (at a significant markup and starting at $30/bottle), but hey, we’ve all gotta make money somehow. So I don’t begrudge the restaurant that.
You’ll notice that we don’t have dancing in the budget – and we won’t have it at the actual wedding either. In an ideal world, we would have included it, but cutting out the dance portion allowed us to have a reception at that particular restaurant.
Originally, I was going to order a cake from a well-regarded bakery, but the owner refused to sell me a regular cake after she found out I was having a wedding. So I said “forget her!” Now we plan to buy several “normal” sized cakes from a local shop, so we can get more flavors and feed the same amount of people for less.
Bride & groom attire ate up more of our budget than I thought it would… but in the end I’m comfortable with how much we’re spending. Although I got my wedding dress at retail price, I shopped around for a deal on alterations and found a tiny neighborhood tailor who hemmed and tucked for $100. CB got an excellent Brooks Brothers suit that he can wear for years to come, for 50% off.
We actually found our photographer on Craigslist. Her pricing is low – $850 for 4 hours of coverage and full user rights – because she was just starting out when we booked her. It’s always a risk signing an up-and-coming vendor, but I really loved her portfolio, she was super responsive, and CB and I both liked her when we chatted on Skype. With a sub-$1,000 photography budget, I wasn’t going to hire an established, experienced photographer. We had to be comfortable with the fact that we have a newish photographer (although in the year since we booked her she has shot 10+ more weddings), but the savings are really substantial. I’ll let you guys know how the pictures turn out.

Some line items look really low… did you think about and ?

Probably. But please let me know if you think there’s something we forgot. A few notes:

We are not spending any money on stationery - a family friend is officiating our wedding as well as providing the invitations as his gift. We’ll be getting gorgeous letterpress on expensive card stock! The $25 is the cost of our stamps to send the invitations. We did not budget for pre-stamped RSVP envelopes because we’ll be having an online RSVP on our (free) wedding website instead. Is this a faux pas? Maybe… but don’t tell us that!
For the vases and cakestands, I purchased a few items from the local Goodwill, and my future mother-in-law borrowed a bunch of milkglass from her friend, so that makes up the bulk of our centerpieces. We are heading to a flower market for our flowers, and I’ve pretty much given up on a floral “vision” – only that I’d like to have blush-colored and light-pink flowers. Peonies would be nice, but so would roses, lilies, carnations, or flowers whose names I don’t know but would fit the look and the budget.
For wedding bands, we decided to with tungsten for him and a simple sterling silver or CZ band for her. It’s not supposed to last forever (talking about the ring, not the marriage, of course), so I wouldn’t mind waiting for few years before I get a platinum band to go with my engagement ring. It’s just not in the budget right now.
If we do go with wedding favors, I’m thinking of simple packages of madeleine cookies that I can pick up at the local bakery. I have talked to a college film student about videotaping our wedding, but he seems a little flaky so I’m not setting my heart on that. That’s why it’s still undecided.

I’m getting almost everything I wanted out of my wedding

The funny thing is that $7,000 is considered a budget wedding in Wedding World, but I don’t feel deprived. And NOT just in a Pollyannaish I-am-marrying-my-love-and-that’s-what-makes-it-perfect kind of way. Our budget removed certain choices, i.e., an evening reception, dancing, designer dress, etc., but I didn’t truly want those things, or at least I didn’t want them more than I wanted the money saved in bypassing those things. My parents are giving me $10,000 as a gift for the wedding, and so whatever we don’t spend I can use to fund graduate school costs.

You could say I managed my own expectations pretty well. So maybe that is the key to having the wedding you want at the budget you have. Just lower your expectations (or increase your budget!). ;-) Seriously, though, I got a really good deal, and I’m not just talking about money.

After all, I am having my ceremony at the place that I’ve dreamed of ever since before I got engaged. The food and cakes will be delicious. I bought a beautiful lace gown that I could afford even at retail price and CB got the suit that he absolutely loved. And we have friends who are flying from across the country and the world to celebrate with us. Bottom line, my budget is allowing me to get almost everything I want out of my wedding. That’s not the case for every bride, so I do feel very lucky.

Suggestions, questions, and comments welcome on this wedding budget!

License to Wed

Written by WellHeeled on April 3, 2012 · 22 Comments

What’s the best way to spend $100 on your wedding? Getting the piece of paper that will make it legal. This weekend, we spent $100.50 to become proud owners of the license to wed (said in my best James Bond impression).

After we went to the clerk, CB confessed his fear. Apparently, he had been afraid that we’d misunderstand a question or fill out the wrong form, and voila! we’d be mistakenly married when instead we just wanted our marriage license. Hahaha. I never thought of that, but I suppose it would make things very awkward for the actual wedding.

Although, the whole experience of heading to the courthouse was so lovely and stress-free (we fill out a form, we stand in line for a bit, we chat with a nice clerk and raise our right hands and boom! we get the paperwork all done) that I was almost wistful that we didn’t elope. It would’ve been so easy (and, so much easier on the budget).

Fortunately, that moment passed. Because while we have already spent $2,700 on the wedding, we probably have another $4,000+ to go. And that’s if we wear our budget hats very carefully.

Bridal Shower + Tea Party

Written by WellHeeled on March 26, 2012 · 22 Comments

My future sister-in-law threw me the most beautiful bridal shower & tea party this weekend. Instead of going to a tea room, she MADE this incredible spread (including my favorites: home-baked cranberry and orange scones and chocolate-covered strawberries!) and a few friends, myself, and her spent almost 5 hours eating, laughing, and talking.

See those gorgeous gilt tea cups and saucers? My future sister-in-law’s best friend apparently collects those, and each one has fluted edging and feet. I already love all things afternoon tea, so this was the best shower I can ever ask for.

The next time I feel tempted to splurge on a $30 per person afternoon tea, I might just be inspired to DIY instead. (Plus, did I win the sister-in-law lottery or what?!)

Anyone loves afternoon tea? Do you throw tea parties at home?

Groom vs. Bride: Wedding Attire

Written by WellHeeled on March 21, 2012 · 18 Comments

Looking for the perfect men’s suit

Less than three months before the wedding, CB has found a suit. The groom’s wedding attire is usually much easier to get than the bride’s, but in our case the opposite was true. My dress search was relatively painless: I purchased my dress at retail price and had it in my hands a month after I placed the order. CB’s search had to go on a little longer!

When we first started looking at suits, we thought that CB will wear his old suits or maybe get something at the department stores. But since he has lost all that weight, the old suits aren’t quite fitting him properly anymore. Besides, given that I spent $600 on a dress that I will wear ONCE, isn’t it only fair that CB gets to spend some $$$ on a suit that he can wear for years? I thought so, so we set out to look for a good suit in the $500 range. That’s when… the floodgates opened. When CB is researching a big purchase, he goes ALL IN. When I am looking at clothes, I go ALL IN. Combine big purchase + clothes, and that is how “horse hair canvass” “surgeon’s buttons” and “waist suppression” became part of our vocabulary.

We found the one

We went to a Theory outlet, J.Crew, Banana Republic, department stores, and a Brooks Brothers outlet to try on a variety of suits (including the famous J.Crew Ludlow). Nothing was quite right, until we stepped into a Brooks Brothers retail store. Guys, that store is amazing. If I were a man I’d blow my entire paycheck there!

The moment CB put on a Fitzgerald – a slimmer cut inspired by JFK’s suiting – from Brooks Brothers’ 1818 Collection, I knew that’s the suit we should get. He looked absolutely dashing in it. I’m no where near a suit expert, but even my untrained eyes can tell that that suit just looked much better than the cheaper versions he tried on previously. Unfortunately, at $1,000 retail, the suits were out of our price range.

We came home, feeling a little deflated (I think by this point I was more determined to get him that suit than he was!). Fortunately, after weeks of stalking Brooks Brothers’ online sales section, we found a charcoal suit with a subtle plaid pattern in CB’s size, for just $498. After taxes, it still only came out to under $550. We were so excited. CB can wear that suit for the wedding, for interviews, for other formal events, and even for funerals (knock on wood we won’t have too many of those). The suit is back-ordered until April, but fingers-crossed it will get here in time for our June wedding.

Groom vs. Bride’s Wedding Attire

Then I thought, it’s amazing what $1,000 can buy for men’s wedding attire vs. women’s wedding attire. For the groom, $1,000 will buy a solid half-canvassed suit at retail price, a garment that he can wear for a decade. The stitching is carefully wrought, the fabric is wool, the construction allows the jacket to drape nicely on the body. A man who wears this suit four times a year for 10 years would have worn it 40 times. His cost per wear would be $25.

For the bride, $1,000 is considered “entry-level” in designer wedding gown parlance. In fact, I’ve read magazines where dresses under $1,500 or even $2,000 are called “budget” gowns. For that price, we get a lovely gown, yes, but a gown with cheaper rhinestones and faux pearls, maybe glued on instead of sewn on. The fabric may be a synthetic instead of natural fabric. The tulle is nylon instead of silk. It is a one-time outfit. Even the resale price of brand-new gowns hovers around 50% of retail, and if the bride sells the dress after she has worn it, it’ll go for less than that. So let’s say the bride buys a $1,000 gown and then sells it for $400 after she wears it for the Big Day. Her cost per wear is $600.

It almost boggles the mind, doesn’t it?

But at the end of the day, CB loves his suit and I love my dress, and we will be a spiffed up couple on our wedding day. And so it is money well spent. (I think there is no question, however, that his purchase is no doubt the better value).

$10,000 Wedding Cash from Mom & Dad

Written by WellHeeled on November 29, 2011 · 24 Comments

Our wedding budgeting is about to get a whole lot easier. My parents have decided to give me $10,000 cash as a gift for my wedding.

A 2009 New York Times Bucks column asked readers what they would do with cash from parents – use it as a wedding contribution or save it for a vacation or a down payment on their first home. Most people said that they would of course take the cash. I had an inkling that my parents may give me some money (my mom had mentioned something offhand a few months earlier), but I was still pleasantly surprised. My mom and I were chatting on the phone when she brought up the wedding gift topic again and reaffirmed that the money will come before the wedding next summer. When I was growing up, the topic of weddings never came up much and although we knew that historically, the bride’s family paid for the wedding, such things were never assumed – or even discussed – in my household. After I got engaged, CB and I planned our wedding according to what we felt comfortable spending without any parental help, so this money is a boon indeed.

When I told CB about the cash, he couldn’t believe what a generous gift it is. We are both so grateful. It made me feel 100% better about splurging on my wedding dress and helped us make the decision to expand the guest list from 25 to 35-40. The great thing is that the cash is a no-strings-attached gift. My parents have no special requests for how we should spend the money, who we should invite, or how to conduct the wedding. After reading some stories on blogs and wedding websites (and watching family spats on Say Yes To The Dress), I’ve realized that such easy-going parents are not to be taken for granted. Bottom line, the money is ours to spend as we wish.

How does the extra money change our wedding planning? It doesn’t – much. It’s not so much my discipline or frugality as it is the sheer logistics of planning. In many ways, I am glad my mom didn’t tell me about the gift until our venue has been selected and the photographer has been booked. If I had taken the $10,000 into account, it would’ve been much easier to choose more expensive venues, menus, photographer. I probably would have had dancing instead of a dance-free lunch reception. Instead of searching for our photographer on Craigslist, I would have signed with a more established person for double the price. (But I love our photographer, so maybe things worked out for the best). I might have gotten these $200 Badgley Mischka shoes. I suppose now we can hire a professional wedding videographer if we want. All those options are tempting.

If we maintain our current budget, we expect our total wedding expenses to clock in around $6,500-$7,000. Sometimes I wish I can be the type of bride who’d be perfectly happy eloping. Think about the type of vacation we can take for $7,000. But I know myself, and I know I’d want something. Despite all the anti-wedding sentiments that seem to percolate in the blogosphere (if you ever want to see a collective vehemence for spending, just read the comments of some wedding blogs), I do want a wedding, complete with a long white dress, a walk down the aisle, and celebration with friends and family. CB’s family has also generously gifted us $1,000 that we have put into our joint savings account / Galapagos fund, which stands at $9,000+. With our savings and parental contributions, the wedding is paid for twice over.

So here is what we have decided to do: we are going to stick with our sub-$7,000 budget, and then save the rest. Perhaps we CAN start our married lives with a little house fund.

Will your parents help you financially with the wedding? If your parents offered you money, would you spend it on your wedding, a down payment, or a combination of the two?

My Wedding Splurge: I Said Yes To The Dress

Written by WellHeeled on November 21, 2011 · 41 Comments

I said yes to the dress

I have a confession. This weekend, I handed over my American Express card and signed off on a $600 wedding gown purchase. As you may remember, I have a perfectly fine dress that I got for $66(!) at a Nordstrom Rack. But somehow I decided to say “yes” to a complete splurge dress with a price multiplied by 10. I don’t want to put a picture of the dress on the blog, but if you are not the person I am going to marry next year, you can see it here.

Randy, unfortunately, could not make it to my bridal appointment. What a shame!

This means our wedding budget is increasing. I will need alterations. I will need to sell my other gown. Wedding budgeting brings out very conflicted feelings inside me. On the one hand, I want to be prudent and responsible with the spending. And plus, weddings are one of the most judged expenses around. Try as I might, I think I have internalized some of that judgment / self-criticism. On the other hand, this is One (Very Special) Day. I want to look and feel my best, and I do feel more bridal in this dress than in my lovely $66 sheath. (I think Randy would have approved).

The splurge and the aftermath

All day after the bridal appointment, I felt a little guilty. I didn’t try my best to get the best deal for the dress (basically paid the list price). I could have gotten it cheaper from used dress sites or on Craigslist, but I couldn’t find a petite length one, so I decided to just bite the bullet and order at the store. There are so many beautiful dresses online for much cheaper, but I didn’t go that route because I really wanted to try something on before I made my purchase.

$600, in the grand scale of things, won’t make or break my finances. I can afford this dress, but the nature of weddings is that folks can always afford the individual elements. It’s the total, combined number that threatens to shock you if you don’t carefully monitor the budget. Speaking of which, I do not want to think about the total, combined number. Now that I got a nicer dress, I also feel compelled for us to up CB’s suit budget. Because, let’s face it, he will get much more use out of his wedding day attire than I will mine.

I am not exactly sorry I bought this dress, because it is beautiful, and I felt beautiful in it. I am aware that if this dress were any color but white and were labeled a long evening gown instead of a “wedding dress,” it would have cost 50% less. But life is just too short to always stress about if I got the absolute best deal or if the Wedding Industry is getting one over me. The bottom line is that I can see myself walking down the aisle in this dress – happy and glowing – and I’ve made my peace with the price.

So there is my wedding splurge. It’s an indulgence, but what a beautiful, lacey, delightful indulgence it is.

image source: Randy Fenoli via gettingmarriedonlongisland.com

Did you splurge on your wedding gown? If you are not yet married, do you think you will splurge on the dress? And most importantly, how much do you love Randy?

10 Places To Buy Inexpensive Wedding Dresses Online

Written by WellHeeled on November 11, 2011 · 20 Comments

My favorite part of wedding planning is looking at dresses. But I didn’t much like to look at them in person – I guess I just got used to shopping online in the comfort and privacy of my home. Plus, I knew my budget didn’t allow me to go to any bridal salons, and often times the selection (and sizing!) are more ample on the internet. With all the great options that have sprung up in the past few years, there is no reason to let money stand in the way of a bride and a beautiful dress.

You can spend thousands or even tens of thousands on your wedding gown. Even ladies with budget-friendly weddings often put four-figures into their dress. But if you, like me, has a budget that is a bit slimmer than that figure, don’t despair. There are plenty of stores, bridal and otherwise, that offers inexpensive and stylish dresses for $500 or less. In fact, you can even veer into seriously-inexpensive territory with dresses that fall under $300 or $200.

Here are ten of my favorite websites where I found inexpensive wedding dresses. Lots of them.

1. BCBG. BCBG won me over when I found this elegant, structured dress (#6 in collage). It’s not strapless! and just $598.00. For brides who are looking for a blush / pink colored dress, the Torey (#3 in collage) is under $400 and looks absolutely stunning (check out that back!).

2. TheLimited. When I was middle schoool, I considered TheLimitedToo the height of fashion. Now that I am a little more grown up, I find their wedding dresses to be some of the most affordable gowns out there. The Final Sale items are an especially good value (of course, there is always the element of risk in ordering a nonreturnable gown online). These two dresses are only $79! I love the rosette detailing on this gown (#1 in collage), and it’s only $159.

3. Ann Taylor. Ann Taylor’s price point is a little bit higher than some of the other retailers, but the dresses look lovely. Very understated gowns. The Olivia gown with a backless design, at $550, is one of my favorites. Plus the store has great return policies.

4. ShopBop (sales section!). Go to ShopBop’s bridal section, and sort for price. That way you’ll see all the dresses under the $500 mark first. This ACL dress is only $150 on sale. This Halston Heritage is under $500.

5. White House Black Market. Look at the Alexandra (#4 in collage)! The elegant choice if you are lucky to have a tall, statuesque build. (If I suddenly grew 11 inches taller? This would be MY dress).

6. Sample Sale Sites such as RueLaLa and HauteLook. I’ve seen several bridal sample sales (Nicole Miller, Sue Wong) on RueLala and HauteLook. The offerings include dresses, of course, but also veils, bridal jewelry, shoes, and clutches. Sign up for their emails to keep abreast of when the bridal sales will happen. Unfortunately, I was always too late to the sale to scoop up a dress in my size.

7. Ruby Lane. If you are looking for vintage dresses, I believe there is no better place than on Ruby Lane. I have noticed that the prices here also tend to be somewhat lower than on Etsy. This empire-waist silk shantung gown is under $200. Try getting a brand-new gown at that price with real silk. Or, if you are looking for something more romantic, how about the 1960s lace and chiffon number?

8. Nordstrom. When people talk about excellent customer service, I think of Nordstrom. So I would feel very safe buying my gown online from this store. This JS gown is inspired by Pippa Middletown‘s dress. But for $200, it’s probably, oh, 800% percent cheaper than the royal bridemaid dress!

9. Lord & Taylor. Lord & Taylor has a small but well-curated selection of gowns online. An embellished Sue Wong dress (#5 in collage) is discounted for $285.99. Another beautiful Pippa Middletown copy by ABS is at under $400.

10. David’s Bridal: David’s Bridal’s Buy Online selection of dresses starts at just $99, like this strapless pleated gown. Want a ball gown (#2 in collage) without the ball gown price? This beauty is also $99.. I love this dress with the bold rose detail at the waist.

Tell me, what are your favorite places to shop online for inexpensive wedding dresses? Do I have any bride-to-be’s that saw something you like in this list?

I Can’t Buy A Regular Cake Because I Am Having a Wedding (or, My Time In The Wedding Twilight Zone)

Written by WellHeeled on November 7, 2011 · 50 Comments

The title says it all. A bakery refused to sell me one of their regular cakes because I told them I am getting married. Hence begins my experience in the Wedding Twilight Zone.

(This is a plain white cake, much like the cakes that the bakery wouldn’t sell to me once they found out I was having a wedding).

Here’s what happened. As a devout cake-lover, I knew that I wanted my guests to have a delicious cake at the wedding. So I found a well-regarded bakery and reached out to the owner. The website shows two pricing schemes: one for wedding cakes ($5.50 per person or around $150 for 28 people) and one for “event” cakes ($45 for a cake of comparable size).

Here’s how my conversation in the Wedding Twilight Zone went:

Me: Hi, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions about your cakes. I am looking for a cake next year.
Bakery owner: Oooh, how wonderful! Are you having a wedding?
Me: Yes, actually, so I just had a few questions. In my head: oops, should I have said that? But I don’t want to LIE to her. I was wondering what’s the difference between the wedding cakes and the event cakes.
Bakery owner: The wedding cakes are a nice two-tier cake. There is a $150 minimum order.
Me: Oh, okay. I am having a really small, casual wedding. Can I buy a regular event cake instead?
Bakery owner: Oh, no. The event cakes are a completely different look. They are like.. birthday cakes! You’d need to get the wedding cake. Then there’s the delivery fee…
Me: I understand. But I’m not asking for a wedding cake for the price of a regular cake. Can I just buy a regular cake?
Bakery owner: No… wedding cakes and event cakes are completely different. You’d have to get a wedding cake.
Me: Fine, can I just get a regular cake for a ah, regular event, then? I can even come pick it up.
Bakery owner: awkward silence
Me: All right. Thank you very much. Let me think about it.

What Is The Wedding Twilight Zone?

The wedding twilight zone, I propose, is that weird disruption in the space-time continuum where once a store hears the word “wedding”, it will refuse to sell you, the customer, anything that is NOT wedding related. Despite your insistence to the contrary. Despite you asking them what is the difference between wedding vs. non-wedding. (See this BBC video for an illustration).

The wedding cakes and the event cakes share identical flavors. For the same size, the wedding cake costs more than THREE times as much as the regular cake. From what I can see on the website, the wedding cakes are more beautifully decorated. The regular event cakes, however, are just fine for my purposes. I don’t want to pay an extra $100 for a second tier and more decorations.

So, I understand why a wedding cake – which the bakery prepares with more effort and decor – costs more. I understand that many items have a “wedding premium.” I’d expect the owner to be peeved if I bought an event cake but expected a more elaborate wedding cake. But I don’t! If I just wanted a plain, frosted cake – for WHATEVER occasion (which was really none of the bakery’s business) – why couldn’t I buy it? It is really frustrating. The owner was perfectly polite, but the exchange still left me slightly bewildered and indignant. I don’t want to have to dance around the subject and say it’s a “special event” or a “fancy luncheon” or a “graduation” to buy what I want to buy.

Give customers what they want!

This business owner lost out on my business. I get it – it’s better to sell a wedding cake at $150 than a regular cake at $50. But it wasn’t a matter of whether I will buy a lower cost event cake or an more expensive wedding cake from her bakery. It was whether I will buy an event cake from her. Which she apparently did not want.

CB suggested that we call back closer to the wedding and just tell the bakery it’s for a birthday or whatever. I told him no. The owner sounded like a nice-enough lady and the cakes got great reviews online, but I am not going to jump through hoops for her to take my money if she doesn’t want it. Let her eat her own cakes!

Have you ever been trapped in this Wedding Twilight Zone where once the store finds out you are having a wedding, they won’t sell you any none wedding items?

image source: by Volantra via Flickr

Do We Need a Wedding Videographer?

Written by WellHeeled on October 6, 2011 · 53 Comments

A year ago, I didn’t even know that wedding videographers existed. When someone talked about wedding videos, I thought of the wobbly shots captured by Dad or Uncle Bob with a handheld recorder (in my mind, this recorder would be from the mid-90s because I don’t think my family has upgraded our recording arsenal since then).

Shows you how much I knew! Now that I am deeper into the wedding planning ~~madness~~ process, I am starting to wonder if I need a wedding videographer. On the one hand, videographer = lots of dough. I don’t know if we want to ~~stretch~~ blow up our budget. Even a beginner will cost $1,000 or more. Professionals whose clips I’ve loved cost upwards of $3,000.

On the other hand, will I regret not recording at least the ceremony? Wouldn’t it be nice to hear our voices say our vows? More morbid… wouldn’t it be nice to have family’s images and voices captured for posterity, after their passing? A wedding is one of those rare occasions when everyone we love is there and dressed up and happy, and in 10 or 20 or 50 years, will I look back and regret that we did not have wonderful videos of our parents?

The third option, CB suggested, is to have a friend or family member man the camera. Won’t be professional, won’t be artistic, won’t be thousands of dollars. And we’d have those memories preserved on tape.

The internet has not been helpful, because all the answers to my Google query “Do we need a wedding videographer” comes back a fairly resounding “yes.” Most of those links are from wedding videographers. So just a slight bias there.

I’d love to get your feedback.

Did you have a professional wedding photographer? Did you regret your decision either way?

Change of Plans for Honeymoon

Written by WellHeeled on September 28, 2011 · 7 Comments

We finally, absolutely, unequivocally decided on our honeymoon destination. Originally, we planned on Turkey. I had visions of flying in hot air balloons over the lunar landscape of Cappadocia, but ultimately we decided it would cost a little bit more than we are comfortable with at this point. I definitely plan to go in the future when we have a bit more time (and, er, money). Instead, we are going somewhere where our dollars will stretch a little farther.

The Plan

We are spending 9 days and nights in Argentina, with the majority of the trip spent in Buenos Aires – the “Paris of the South” and a couple of days in Iguazu Falls – “Big Water.” We will also spend a day at an estancia – a ranch where guests can go horseback riding and feast on steaks and empanadas.

I spent several months in Buenos Aires when I was in college, so I have extremely fond memories of how ~~good~~ ~~great~~ increíble the cuisine is. Which is one of the reasons we chose Argentina as our honeymoon destination. From buttery croissants and creamy gelato to melt-in-your-mouth osso buco and grilled meats of all types and stripes, all at very inexpensive prices when compared to comparable restaurants in the U.S., Buenos Aires is an eater’s dream.

The Budget

I still have to write out a budget for the trip, but thanks to a very favorable airfare, I think we will be able to keep this entire trip at $4,000, with 1/4 of that budget going to the Iguazu Falls excursion. Domestic flights in Argentina is killer for foreign tourists.

The Argentine peso to the dollar is at 4 to 1 right now, so even though Buenos Aires is not the bargain it once was, it’s still a pretty good deal!

The Feeling

The flights are booked. The dates are marked on my calendar. I can already taste the sizzling steak… just 8 more months until I am married and living la vida sabrosa!

photo credit: David Berkowitz via Flickr